Our Job is to Love

Why is it so hard to give those around us the benefit of the doubt?  Why do we compare ourselves to others?  I have been thinking about that one a lot.  I am pretty good about not judging those around me, but not so good about not judging myself, or even my children. 
I seem to live in a place where people decide they are successful or unsuccessful based on the worthiness of their children, or their own professed worthiness.  Like having kids that totally follow the straight and narrow, would make me any better of a person, or a mother. 
Women talk about the things their children do.  How good they are, how righteous they are, how they have done everything right in their lives.  They talk about how all 12 of their children have been to the temple and hold callings.  It is very hard for me to not compare my struggles with their righteousness. 
I have children who have chosen different paths in their lives.  They don't follow the same things that I do.  They have made mistakes.  They have struggled.  They have cried.  They have failed and some of them have overcome.  Some of them are still working on that.  I also have children who have chosen to live good lives, righteous lives.  Who work hard to serve others and who make good choices.  I am proud of every single one of them.  I love each one and rejoice in the things they have accomplished and continue to accomplish. 
I am grateful for the lessons they have taught me.  I am also grateful to my son in laws and my daughter in law for the way they treat my children and the love they have for them.  No matter what their choices have been, each and every one of them deserve love and kindness. 
Sometimes, I feel like I should love the good ones more.  But as a mother, I have learned that I love them all.  Good choices or bad.  Those young adults and teens mean the world to me.  I am equally in love with the people that I know they are.  The funny thing (or not so funny) is that I don't judge them for their mistakes, I judge myself.  I compare myself to those families whose children have not had the struggles that mine have had.  I can't help feeling like there must be something wrong with me that my children would make those decisions, or have those things happen to them in their lives.  No matter how hard I have tried, bad things happen.  No matter how much I pray, bad things happen.  No matter what choices I make, bad things still happen.  I have had to learn that Heavenly Father does not take away anyone's free agency.  None of us really choose what happens to us, but we all get to choose how we react to the things that others bad decisions bring into our lives. 
We are each one of us unique and loved and needed and wanted and cared for.  Each one of us is a rare gift to the world around us.  Let us work harder on not stealing the joy that being unique can bring into our own life as well as the lives of those around us.  Don't steal joy that I know Heavenly Father takes in each one of us.  We are unique for a reason.  Sometimes, it is that very uniqueness that brings joy into the life of someone else. 
To each one of my children and children-in-law, I love you.  You are amazing!!!  You are everything I could have ever hoped for and dreamed of.  You are exactly who I want you to be.  I love you dearly, in all your imperfections and insecurities.  I admire you spunk, independence, and perseverance.   You are Sons and Daughters of a Heavenly Father who loves you more than you can ever imagine. 
You are mine on loan, but you are His for eternity. 

What I learned - Rise Up In Strength

 

To be converted covenant keepers, we need to study the essential doctrines of the gospel and have an unshakable testimony of their truthfulness.

I think that many of us have a testimony, but sometimes it get lost in our struggles to live in this crazy, mixed-up world.  It is getting harder to maintain our testimonies as the perilous days of these foretold times come to pass.  It is so sad to see people choose not to come to church because their hearts are offended, or they don't like the leaders, or someone took advantage of them. 
President Russell M. Nelson told us a year ago: “Attacks against the Church, its doctrine, and our way of life are going to increase. Because of this, we need women who have a bedrock understanding of the doctrine of Christ and who will use that understanding to teach and help raise a sin-resistant generation. We need women who can detect deception in all of its forms. We need women who know how to access the power that God makes available to covenant keepers and who express their beliefs with confidence and charity. We need women who have the courage and vision of our Mother Eve.”
I don't see anything changing for the better in the near future.  We live in a time where men and women turn their backs on the spiritual.  Where people question everything, and where they only are willing to listen to "proof" that they can see and touch. 
Sadly, our own families are often in the middle of the turmoil.  It breaks my heart to see others put their faith in men or things or even leaders.  The only sure way is to study the essential doctrines, to have a testimony that is firmly rooted in truth.  Not because someone told you, but because you know for yourself. 
There are many who struggle with difficult questions.  There are many who are searching for answers, and we can find them, sometimes it takes a while, but I believe the answers are there if we are willing to search, ponder and listen. 
This was a beautiful talk by Sister Bonnie Oscarson.  I loved every word of it.  It ended up being one of my very favorites for the entire conference.  You can find the entire talk here....
Rise Up In Strength Sisters in Zion