Stop Worrrying

 

It is not easy for me to stop worrying.  I worry about everything:  Being late, being early, having money, not having enough money, work, school, the cars, the phone, the bills.  You name it, I have probably worried about it. 

It is sad to me to even try to think about how much of my life has been spent in worrying.  My stomach in knots, but brain whirling, my heart beating fast.  I think I may worry just a little too well!

Take this week for example; I have an 18 year old teen.  She is a really good girl.  However, she went to see a friend in Holbrook.  The road there is a good one, but there are way too many accidents along it late at night.  I planned on her being home by 9:00.  In reality, it was after 1:00 in the morning when she came in.  She did text, so it is not like I didn't know where she was or what was going one, but I couldn't sleep. 

Finally, after tossing and turning, I went out on the couch and watched a TV show.  I stayed up until she arrived home (safe at last!) and then was up for about 40 minutes later to get my anxiety under control.  Six hours of sleep later, and it was time to get up to start the Sabbath day. 

I was exhausted!  Then 6 hours of sleep Sunday night and back to work.  After a very long day (about 14 hours) I came home and finally went to sleep at 9:00 again, only to wake up at 3:00AM to worry and not go back to sleep.  I really have to find a way to stop this!!

Worry is not my friend. 

I know this quote is true, even if it is so hard for me to remember.  I have seen the Lord's hand in my life when things don't work out the way I always planned they would. 

I had so many dreams as a child.  Ones where I was a surgeon, or a rocket scientist, or an astronaut.  I dreamed things that did not come true.  Somehow, I never saw myself quite where I am today.  Yet in all my dreams, I could never have seen the blessings that I would be given instead.  I think that I am right where I need to be.  So, when plans don't work out, when the road is uphill, when everything and everyone seems to conspire against you, have faith.  I believe the Lord's plans for us are so much bigger than anything we could dare to dream. 

 

Dream a New Dream

I have learned that we all have dreams.  It doesn't matter what age we are, or what stage of life we are in.  We each have a dream for today or the future as we want it to be.  We each look at our lives and hope to change or add something to it.  That is the really amazing thing about life.  No matter what we have done yesterday or today, our story is not over.  Any single one of us can start today and re-write the ending of our own story.  We can decide who we are going to become. 
Life is amazing.  I have a friend who I would never have thought would ever embrace the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  She has had lots of reasons to never be involved.  Her family does not support her decision.  She had to wait until she was old enough that she could live on her own.  She joined the church in spite of her parents wishes.  It has been years since that decision was made and she still has no contact with her family.  They disowned her when she was baptized.  She had to leave the country of her birth and come to America where she started over.  She married in the Temple and has children today who have never known their grandparents.  As far as she knows, they never will.
She had a dream, she chose to follow that dream in spite of the consequences.  And there were definitely consequences. 
I think we all have dreams.  Whether or not we fulfill them depends, to an extent, on what we are willing to do to bring them to pass.  What are we willing to give up?  I have a daughter who wanted to be out of debt.  She wanted it bad enough that she was willing to live very frugally in order to make it happen.  She did without new things, she lived on a very strict budget, but today, she has brought that dream to pass.  Now they are saving for their own home.  I am so impressed with her willingness to sacrifice what she wants right now, for something that is so much better. 
I included the words to one of my favorite ABBA songs.  I have always loved it because it reminds me that the time really is right for me.  May we all have something that we have dreamed of happen in our lives.  May we all be willing to sacrifice what we want right now for our dreams of later.  May we feel loved and blessed even when we fail.  May we realize that the destination makes it all worth while. 

I Have a Dream

ABBA

I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream, I have a dream

I have a dream, a fantasy
To help me through reality
And my destination makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness
Still another mile
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream, I have a dream

I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream, I have a dream
I'll cross the stream, I have a dream

Becoming Like Him - Day 18 - Taste

For my 31 days of writing, I am linking up over at Heading Home and over at the Nester. There are several of us that are taking the 31 day writing challenge. Kate has suggested that we spend 31 days of Five minute writing. You can use the prompts or write about anything you would like, you just need to write.

I am sharing my journey for 31 days as I strive to become more like Him. My prayer is that you can find hope and peace in my words.

"We write to taste life twice,

in the moment, 

and in retrospect".

Anais Nin

START

Oh how I love this quote.  It is amazing and really reminds me why I write.  Life is amazing, and without writing, it is easier to forget the good times and to get lost in the bad.  Most of my memories of my childhood are not so good.  I really wish that I could remember good things because I know they where there, but in childhood, the hurt far outweighed the happiness.  So, I remember the hurt.  Oh how I wish that someone had taught me to write back then.
Writing is much like cooking.  When I first got married, I was 17 years old and I knew nothing of following a recipe of cooking.  My mother cooked with cans and boxes and pre made food.  I really wanted to learn to cook homemade.  
I remember my first stew.  It cooked all day and we had company for dinner.  The potatoes weren't done yet and we still crunchy.  I cooked it too low.  Everyone ate, no one complained, but my husband said, (after the company had left), please don't cook that again.
So, I didn't, but I made other things and I learned.  I used to cook amazing cinnamon rolls and sweets.  I made homemade candy and breads and pretty much any dessert you can think of.  I even got good at it.  It took years of practice and lots of failures, but I learned.  
When I married my husband now, the hardest thing to blend was the cooking.  My kids, loved my cooking.  His kids loved his cooking.  So we had to learn to blend things together into new flavors and new traditions that became our own.  
He does a lot of the cooking.  He enjoys it and I don't mind at all.  The only thing everyone insists that I have to cook is gravy.  That is the must have on Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Mom's gravy is still number one.  Like I said, I took years to perfect it. 
As an adult, I have written a lot.  I write poems, I write articles, I write about my love of God.  Because so much of my writing focuses on my testimony of the Savior and His love for me, I live it again in the words.  I live it first in my thoughts and feelings, then savor it again in the words when I write them down and finally taste my heart in the words again when I reread them.  
My hope has always been that my children will someday want to really get to know me, for something besides the recipe to gravy.  And that these parts of my life that I taste will somehow inspire them to reach just a little bit higher than they ever imagined.  

STOP

I am a Writer

 

"What doesn't kill us, 

gives us something new to write about."  

Julie Wright

Today, I am joining Lisa Jo over at her blog to write for my own five minutes.  We call this "Five Minute Friday".  The rules are simple

• Write for five minutes without worrying where it is just right or not
• Link up over at Lisa Jo's Place
• Leave a comment for at least one of the others who posted before you. 

Short sweet and simple.  So, join us today for your own version of the prompt......

WRITER

START

I started writing so many years ago, poems about hurt and heartache, about laughter and sadness,about sunshine and rain.  I kept writing  through the years of hopes and dreams and trials.  I put my heart and soul and testimony into my words.  I found God in the struggle to write.  I found the gift of putting dreams into thoughts and into words.  And in those words I often found my heart turning toward Him.
Sometimes, I would write a lot.  The words poured out of my soul faster than I could write them down.  It became a nearly aching need of healing to write everything as I struggled and learned and grew.  I found comfort in the pages of my journal each night.  The words in ink pouring onto the pages as memories.  Messages to generations further down the line.  My fingers aching with the writing, all in my own hand, sometimes many pages at a time. 
Today, the computer beckons me each day, and calls my name with guilt or love, or shame or acceptance.  It all depends on how much I ignore my dream and desire to write.  Sometimes, I need to wait to speak those words.  I have to heal in other ways.  But then, I return to my computer and write my heart upon the pages of my blog.  Here I have found a place to write my words.  A place to share my heart, my soul, my love and my dreams.  Here I become a writer.

STOP

Now it is your turn.  What can you write in your own five minutes?  Don't forget to join the rest of us over at Lisa Jo's.

Fear and Freedom

Expose yourself to your deepest fear; 

after that, fear has no power, 

and the fear of freedom 

shrinks and vanishes. You are free. 

~Jim Morrison~

I had to read this a couple of times, and then I loved it.  You see, a long time ago, I was terrified of heights.  I didn't know what to do or how to overcome it.  I couldn't go up on high edges because I imagined myself falling off.  

I had some friends who believed that the best way to treat my problem was with a healthy dose of rock climbing.  I learned to climb.  Small heights at first, and finally larger ones.  I have climbed in Las Vegas, Colorado, Utah and California, as well as all around the state of Arizona. I have climbed in the Grand Canyon, and Yosemite.   I have stood at Toroweap and looked down to the river far below.  I learned to overcome my fear until it had no power to control me.  

I can't say that I am completely over my worries of heights, but they don't stop me from doing what I enjoy anymore.  I am more willing to hike and be outdoors.  I am more willing to look over the top of a canyon.  I still worry about the kids falling, but I have stopped worrying about falling myself.  

I have had some amazing experiences all while overcoming my greatest fear.  I have seen beautiful places, and beautiful things.  I have had moments that I will cherish for the rest of my life.  Sunrises and Sunsets, Vistas and views all within my reach as I struggled and learned and overcame.  

The fear is gone and I am truly free.  

Remember To Dream

Don't be led by problems.  

Be led by your dreams.  

What does it mean to you to be led by your problems?  For me, it means that I am living my life through reacting to what is happening around me.  I am not living through planning or deciding.  Instead, I am tossed around in the wind, to and for, and thrown up into the air with no notion of what will happen to me.  

My focus becomes on that is set on fixing things instead of living with them.  I am seeking to get through live instead of finding joy in my journey.  My problems become the journey and my dreams are lost in all the chaos.
I don't like chaos.  This past year has shown me how hard it can be to be led (and even consumed) by my problems.  I seem to have difficulties in putting the moment aside and finding faith toward the future.  I find it impossible to even remember my dreams, let alone seeking to be led by them.  My point is that we all can become consumed by whatever is going on in our lives.  It is easy to think these days will never end.  That we will never solve the problem that is surrounding us today.
I am learning that I need to still focus on the things that remind me what is most important in my life.  I still need family time, me time, and simple entertainment.  I still need to get my work done and do a good job.  I still need to move forward one single step at a time.  One of the most important things that I have learned is that when I can't see the possibilities of the future through the clouds of today, I can still have smaller and easily fulfilled dreams.  Instead of making my dreams a year or more out, I make them for tomorrow or next week.
By focusing on little steps, I learn to let my problems go.  I learn that I can trust my Heavenly Father for just this moment, or today or tomorrow or even into next month.  I start to learn that He does help me and that He does care.  By small things, great things will come to pass.  This includes your hopes, your wants and your dreams.  We just need to let go of the problems in our life and give them to Him.

Alma 37:6 Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise.

Five Minute Friday - Imagine

This is it!  My favorite time of the week to write, and to read.  So, set your timer, clear your head, for five minutes of free writing without worrying about getting it right.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back over to Lisa Jo's and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..

OK, are you ready? Please give me your best five minutes on:::

Imagine…

:GO

My imagination runs ahead of me at 90 miles an hour.  When I read, I become the character in the book.  I escape to new destinations, new places and new worlds.  When I watch a movie, for just a little while, I live there.  I have never been able to watch or read scarey things.  I remember them at the worst moments.  Usually at the times when I am alone and in the dark.  I still remember the only horror film that I ever watched.  I was five years old, but that old black and white movie still has the power to wake me up in all of the modern day living color.
I believe in imagination.  I believe in dreaming and wishing and magic.  I believe that Heavenly Father put us here in this place to learn and grow.  I think He wants us to dream big things in His glory.
I remember when my children were small and built bear caves out of sofa cushions and blankets.  It was in those places that they learned not to be afraid of the dark.  I remember when the back yard was turned into a carnival and when a cranky child could fly to great heights on the backyard swings.  I remember when we had impromptu concerts on the living room stage, with laughter and singing.  (It wasn't always on tune, but it was a great memory).  They had imaginary forts, tree houses and play houses that kept them busy for hours.  They learned to be anything they wanted inside their own minds.
I miss those colorful days of imagination, when a moment and a memory combined together to let us all be just a little more than we thought possible.  I miss those moments of laughter and dancing across the kitchen floor pretending we were famous dancers.
But in my own imagination, I see them still.  Covered in dirt and chocolate and wishes and dreams and love.  And I remember that it was all so very real.  

“Logic will get you from A to Z; 

imagination will get you everywhere.” 

~Albert Einstein~

STOP

Now it's your turn.  What can you write in just five minutes?  Don't forget to come back and join us with your very own five minute post!  We can't wait to hear from you today!