Looking Bad

I love it when a quote resonates with me like this one does.  Our world today is so competitive.  We seem to spend way too much time worrying about how others perceive us, instead of thinking about how God perceives our actions.  I can't even begin to tell you how many times people will try to tell me something bad about someone else, thinking somehow, that minimizes their own sins.  All it really does is call even more attention to them. 

Why is gossip so prevalent today?  I live in a small town.  Which, believe it or not, I actually like most of the time.  The only thing that I have real difficulties with is the fact that people think they "know" all about me.  They pass rumors like they were serving a potluck dinner at the neighborhood church.  I get to learn things about myself that I never even knew!

Perhaps the hardest is when people find it necessary to tell me who likes me and who doesn't.  That is not information that I need in my life.  It is not necessary to my eternal salvation, and could even be detrimental to the person that I currently am. 

Why do we insist on telling each other all the negative things?  It is like we somehow, take secret pleasure in making others feel badly about themselves.  We do not ever know what trials someone is facing.  We may think we have a good idea, but unless we are walking in their shoes, we truly don't understand. 

My trials are unique to me.  You are not asked to go through them.  From where I am sitting, they are hard.  They are painful.  They are as much as I can bear.  To hear others say that they know someone who has been through worse, is not helpful in the least.  In this spot I am in, it is a difficult challenge to face and I have to get through it myself. 

I worry about failing and falling and making mistakes. 

I worry about losing the battle and more importantly, the war. 

I worry about who I might become or who I can't become. 

I worry that I have done something in my life to deserve these particular trials. 

I worry, and I keep worrying.

My goal today, and every day for that matter, is to leave my place in this world just a little better than I found it.  I want people to leave my presence feeling a little better about themselves instead of worse.  I want them to feel valued and respected.  I want to remember that we all have our own difficult places.  And that they are hard for each one of us to endure.  Anything that we can do to make the lives of others just a little better, is something we should try and do. 

I doesn't take much effort to try and be a little more positive in our daily interactions with others. 

Compliment People

 

Oh, this one hit me hard today.  If we could only complement each other more and find fault a little less!  I used to tell my children that they needed to stick together.  They would be in each others lives forever, they should be friends and not enemies.  They should be kindest to each other, and not save that for only friends.   It was hard when they were younger.  They fought over so many little things.  We all have our own opinions and ideas and ways of doing something.  Just because it is different, doesn't make it wrong. 

We live in a society that never wants to take the blame for anything.  We live in a world that is content to pass the blame to someone else.  "Mr. Nobody" lives forever in our communities.  It can be so frustrating when people pass the time by criticizing or talking about others.  I keep asking myself, how often am I guilty of the same thing?  Or even worse, how often do I say nothing when others are speaking badly of someone?   I think that we give quiet consent when we choose to allow it to go one in our presence.  

I love the idea of talking about others strengths.  Of focusing on what they do well, instead of what they do wrong.  This month, I am going to try and be thankful for the blessings of others, no matter what they bring to the party.  I am going to try to more vocally acknowledge strengths.  We all have things we do well.  We all have things we don't do well.  But I am thinking that the more positive I can be, the more it will help others to feel good about themselves.  The more they feel good about themselves, the more likely they are to be positive.  I think the world can always use a little more positive. 

Gossip- Don't Pass It Around

Gossip doesn't need to be false to be evil.  

There is a lot of truth that shouldn't be passed around. 

One of the things I have learned lately, is that even when you think something is true, it might not (and probably isn't) the whole story.  It is just one side of the entire mess.  When we pass things on, even if we believe they are true, we are just passing along one side of the story.  We are judging without all the facts.  We are behaving in a way that isn't very Christlike.  I have a wonderful friend who sent me the following scripture:

Proverbs 6:16-19
These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,
A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren. 

It really made me think.  If we are gossiping, even if it is the truth as we see it, we are still sowing discord among others as well as ourselves.  Gossip doesn't have to be false to be evil.  It just has to hurt someone else or make them unhappy.  

Kind words, on the other hand, not only lift our spirits in the moment when they are given, but can linger on throughout the years.  I will never forget the day that I met President Kimball at Ricks College in Idaho.  I was there because the Teton Dam had broken and destroyed many farms and homes in the area.  I had the opportunity to help clean out basements and homes and see kindness and courage in action. 

 

President Kimball came to speak to the community.  I was standing by a door all alone when a helicopter landed outside on the field.  President Kimball came through the door with many other men.  They all walked by me without saying a word, but He noticed me.  He excused himself from the men and came over to me.  He shook my hand and looked into my eyes and reminded me that the Lord loved me, was mindful of me, and was happy with me.  It was a moment of kindness in my life that I have never forgotten.   

I want to be remembered for the kind things that I say to others, not for the negative, mean things that I might be tempted to say.  My prayer today is for each of us to be a little more willing to spread kindness instead of hate.  That we may be filled with compassion instead of judgement, and that we may turn our hearts toward Him in all we do and say.

  

Kindness is how a Christlike person treats others.  Kindness should encompass all of our words and actions, at work, at school, at church and in our homes.  Our Heavenly Father loves each and every one of us.  He knows us inside and out.  If He loves us, than who are we to doubt what we know nothing about.  

That is that amazing part of His grace.  He knows who we can become.    

So, before you speak,

THINK.

T - Is it true
H - Is it Helpful
I - Is it inspiring
N - Is it Necessary
K - Is it Kind

And if it isn't, then please don't say it.  

Church is not for the faint of heart!

"Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way 

that leaves practically nothing unsaid."  

~Walter Winchell~

I never thought that going to church would pose such a problem for me.  It seems as if I am currently the person to gossip about.  It has been a hard enough year without adding the difficulties that I am currently going through in church.  I seem to have had the mistaken impression that church was a supposed to be sanctuary for my soul and my heart.  That I could go there to be closer to my  Heavenly Father.  That I would have support, encouragement and love through my current trials and difficulties.  That I would not be judged.  But today, I am hurting.  I am feeling betrayed and abandoned.  The voices of "I'm not good enough" are screaming through my head and I really want to stay home and hide.  
Don't get me wrong here.  I am not going to do that.  I will be sitting in the bench in the middle of the chapel come Sunday.  I might not want to be there, but I go.  I will listen, I will learn, and I won't let anyone else's actions determine when and how I worship.  
But I will share with you, in this small corner of the world, how much it hurts to be the person who is talked about.  
The Bible tells us:  “The stroke of the whip maketh marks in the flesh: but the stroke of the tongue breaketh the bones.”  Ecclesiasticus 28:17
It sounds to me as if some of the things we say can be destructive to others.  That is a chilling thought.  The voice that utters prayers, speaks softly in public, bears testimony, can also be the same voice that talks about our neighbors, bears false witness, embarrasses others, demeans, screams and even destroys.  “Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing,  My brethren these things ought not so to be.”  James 3:10
I think our words, like our deeds, should also be filled with the virtues of faith, hope and charity.  Our words should lift each other up, and not put each other down.  Our words should provide comfort, love and sanctuary to those who would listen.  May we each strive just a little harder to think before we speak and to be more Christlike in both Word and Deed.  

It is one of my sources of happiness 

never to desire a knowledge of other people's business. 

 ~Dolley Madison~