Killing A Dream

It only takes one negative thought 

to kill a dream;

Remember that next time.

We have all had unfulfilled dreams in our lives.  We have all had wounds that refused to heal.  A few years ago, my daughter was in a dance class.  She was not built for dancing, but she loved it.  She really wanted to do it.  Dancing was a sport that she liked to participate in.  She was so excited to go every single week.  Then one week, the girls were in a particularly negative mood and told her that she was too fat to dance.  

That was the end of her dream.  Nothing I said could change her mind.  As far as she was concerned, if her "friends" told her that she was too fat to dance, than she was just too fat.  She refused to sign up for dance ever again.  She refused to go.  She refused to even try.

It has been a long road for us with her damaged self esteem.  She has tried other sports now, mind you, she doesn't like those ones either, but she tries.  She has lost a lot of weight and can pretty much do anything she wants to these days, but in her eyes, she still sees the child that is "too fat to dance".

I think that we can so easily be guilty of killing someones dreams.  Whether it is in a name we call them, or just our unbelief, we can take away their enthusiasm for that dream.  We can change them inside into someone else that we never wanted them to be.  

We can take someone who has just not grown into her body yet and make her someone who will not dance.  Someone who stands on the scale several times a day.  Someone who worries constantly about what she eats and how much she eats and how healthy it is.  

We can take away a smile and a dream.  Such a lot of power to wound is in our hands.  Please, please, please, don't let it be in our hearts.  

The Sweetness at the End

This week, it has been so hard to get to my blogging.  I have been increasingly busy!!  We bought several boxes of fruit that all decided to ripen at the same time!  This meant that we had exactly 24 hours to get four boxes of peaches and two boxes of pears sorted, pealed, cut, and bottled so that we did not lose any of the fruit.  (I really hate paying for something that yummy and than losing it because I couldn't find the time to work it).  We were able to get everything done and it looks amazing.  The pantry is full, and I still have to do the apples and the apple butter this month as well as some pickles.  I made my first batch of bread and butter pickles and they have litterally flown off my pantry shelves.  So, I received an over-abundance of cucumbers from someone else's garden and am going to make another batch this weekend.  I actually love canning season.  It is so fulfilling to see the shelves blossom with all the jars of produce and meat.  It is wonderful when I find good recipes that make it all taste so much better than store bought canned goods. 

I have decided that life can be very much like my canning projects.  We go through the spring and summer of our lives.  Life is good.  We are busy, we are productive, we are happy.   We serve, we laugh, we help, we serve some more.  As time goes on, our children grow, our needs change, we have new and important things we are doing.  Yet, the need for service is still there.
 Can you imagine the pioneers on their trek across the United States saying, "We are done!  We are tired!  We have walked all this way and now we are stopping.  We are not walking another step.  We are not going to circle the wagons.  We are not going to sing, or pray!"  Of course they did not stop.  They kept going onward, even as they neared the end of their journey and the trail got harder and colder and more treacherous.  They did not stop putting one foot in front of the other until they reached the valley of the Great Salt Lake.
Those pioneers are forerunners to us in this day.  What would they do if they were here?  Do you think that they would ease into retirement and expect everyone around them to bear the burden because they have earned the chance to rest?  I honestly don't think so.  Our lives are like the harvest of the fruit.  Some of the most important work comes at the end.  Some of the things that preserve the fruits for the next generation are earned through toil, effort, and faith.
Elder William R. Bradford once said:
“Of all influences that cause men to choose wrong, selfishness is undoubtedly the strongest. Where there is selfishness, the Spirit of the Lord is absent. Talents go unshared, the needs of the poor unfulfilled, the weak unstrengthened, the ignorant untaught, and the lost unrecovered.”
For each of us, unselfishness can mean being the right person at the right time in the right place to give service. Almost every day, brings opportunities to perform unselfish acts for others. Such acts are unlimited and can be as simple as a kind word, a helping hand, or a gracious smile.  May we be like the peaches and pears in a jar on my pantry shelf, ready at any moment to give that which is most sweet.  May we remember that the greatest fruits come from the harvest.
The Savior reminds us, “He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.” 
May we each strive today to lose ourselves in the service to others.  May we truly be filled with the most sweetness at the end.  

The Tank of Lobsters

Have you ever noticed the Lobsters in the grocery store?  They can usually be found (alive) in a tank over by the seafood.  They are all bunched together and seem to be getting along pretty well.  The next time you are in the store, look at the lobster tank.
Notice that it isn't very deep.  And notice how many lobsters are inside.
In the Chinese grocery store in Phoenix, there is not even a lid on the tank.
My girls love to look at the lobsters (actually, they love to look at fish in any store, as long as they are alive!).  You will find the lobsters all grouped together in the same area of the tank.  We were at the store once when one of the store clerks was filling the tank with new lobsters.  The girls hung back.  They were afraid that the lobsters would get out, chase them around the store, and pinch them.  The clerk had them come over and look at the tank.  He told them to notice that it wasn't very deep.  Then he showed them that one lobster was taller than the tank of water that held them all.  He then told them that as long as there are several lobsters in the tank, none of them would ever escape.  He took the time to show my little girls how, when one lobster starts climbing up the tank, the others cluster around and pull him right back into it.  It kind of gives a new meaning to the old phrase, "One for all, and all for one!"  If the tank gets low on the amount of lobsters inside it, than the lobsters might be successful in their escape attempt.  But when there is a group, they don't work together to get out.  Instead, they work together to keep each other in.

I have noticed that people can be a lot like lobsters in the tank.  There are times when, instead of lifting each other up, they are busy pulling each other down.  We can be so concerned with appearances, that we forget to be concerned for each other.  We can be so competitive about the silliest things.   Who has what calling, how many children you have had, or even how many times you went to the temple.  Sometimes it seems like I am judged on what others think is important.  And not so much on what really matters. 
I think the New Testament says it best:

Matthew 22:36-40
"Master, which is the great commandment in the law?
Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. 
This is the first and great commandment. 
And the second is like unto it:  Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.
On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets".
So, before you say what you think you want to say, or tell someone else what you think you want to tell.  Think about the lobsters in the tank and ask yourself what it is that you really want.  And remember that none of us can see into the heart of another.  We don't know what they are really like.  We don't know if they have truly repented.  We don't know their tears or their heartache, or their trials.  We only know what it is we think we see.     

Ask yourself, are you loving your neighbor as yourself?  Or are you too busy pulling the lobster back into the tank? 

Who is the enemy?

I love this little prayer that someone wrote!  It so describes my day!
“Dear God,
“So far today I have done all right. I haven’t gossiped, haven’t lost my temper, haven’t been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overly indulgent. But in a few minutes, Lord, I am going to get out of bed, and from then on, I am probably going to need a lot more help.”
We could all use a lot more help!  In today's world, we are encouraged to care more for ourselves than for anyone else.  We are living in difficult times with many burdens for each of us.  It is so easy to become caught up in our own needs and to not look too hard at the needs of others.  
Selfishness is defined as:  the quality of being selfish, the condition of habitually putting one's own interests before those of others.
In one degree or another we all struggle with selfishness.  Selfishness can be familiar to all of us.  It can manifest itself through: claiming credit, puffing yourself up at another's expense, being happy at the mistakes of others, resenting success, needing pubic notice instead of private, disdain, discourtesy, and being self-centered.
Elder Neal A Maxwell has said, "In contrast to the path of selfishness, there is no room for road rage on the straight and narrow way. There will be no spouse or child abuse when there is unselfish love at home. Furthermore, unselfishness is best grown in the family garden, and, likewise, diligently performing seemingly ordinary Church duties can further help us to overcome selfishness. The unselfish are also more free. As G. K. Chesterton said, if we can be interested in others, even if they are not interested in us, we will find ourselves "under a freer sky, [and] in a street full of splendid strangers"."
 If we want to prevent selfishness in our lives, we should not confuse our wants with our needs.  There is a quote that I heard on a Mary Ellen Edmunds CD.  It says, “There, there, little luxury, don’t you cry. You’ll be a necessity by and by.”  That has proven so true in my life!  I remember the days when the TV stations turned off at night and did not come on until the morning.  I grew up when children played outside all day and did not have cell phones with text messaging.  We did not have computers or game systems.  We had bikes and balls and bats and our legs and minds.  We made friends face to face, not in chat rooms.
Today, with all the fast, action and instant gratification, many children are growing up to think that if something isn't fun and entertaining, it is not worthwhile.  I hope that is not so in our family.  So, how do you teach your children about selfishness?  I think it is by showing in increase of love and affection to those we love.
 "As selfishness and complaint pervert and cloud the mind, 
so love with its joy clears and sharpens the vision".  -Helen Keller-

Well, today I needed something a little lighter and the kids and I were looking at funny videos on youtube.  This is one of our favorites and we have watched it several times. The girls keep coming back to it and they laugh every time.  The dog is being so selfish that he is paranoid that someone else is trying to take his food.  So, I used him (the dog) to talk with them about being selfish.  Sometimes, I think we all know exactly how he feels.