Perfectly Put Together

I think this is easy to forget.  Sometimes we feel so bad about ourselves and our prior choices, that we think we are unworthy to go to church, or to worship God, or even to pray.  We forget that not a single person in this world is perfect.  We have all made mistakes.  We might assume that some are worse than others, but that judgment should be entirely left to our loving Heavenly Father. 
Church is not just for those perfectly seeming people that we might know and think about.  You know the ones I mean!  The ones who are always there, always serving, always involved.  The ones who outwardly seem to be practically perfect in every way. 
Sometimes, it takes everything we have to roll out of bed, grab the first thing we find in the closet and manage to drive to church. 
Sometimes it is all we can do to face other people in our own brokenness. 
Sometimes we feel like we wear a very large tattoo that says SIN across our forehead. 
But church and worship are very much for each one of us.  It doesn't matter what place we are at in our lives.  It doesn't matter what we have done in the past, or even what mistakes we are making now.  What matters the most, is that we want to change our heart and nourish our spirits.  We want to become.
When you see someone who looks differently than you do, someone who is all alone or separated from the group, someone who is quite and not participating.  Someone who is hurting, someone who is scared, someone who is crying, someone who is struggling, someone who is not you. 
Welcome them in with open arms and open hearts. 
We should be a sanctuary for any and all who are seeking the Saviors love.  We should be a healing shoulder and a loving arm.  We should be truly Christian in our actions and not just in our professed beliefs.
We need to be a resting place for the weary and a sanctuary for the broken.
Remember that we are all Children of God and he loves each and every one of us.
He knows you.
He loves you.
He wants you to return to him.

What I learned - Conversion to Heavenly Father and the Lord Jesus Christ

Our purpose is to balance the Church and the home experiences in a way that will greatly increase faith and spirituality and deepen conversion.

I love listening to Elder Cook.  This is the talk where the new Sunday curriculum was explained.  I am in love with going to two hour church on Sundays.  I especially like the idea of studying myself and learning through research and reading what is essential for me to know.  Life is a balance, like my grandchildren on the monkey bars.  There are so many different things that require my attention.  It is a relief to spend some of the time on the Sabbath day actually doing things that help me to be a better person.

Don't get me wrong, I have actually always loved church.  I like the chance to learn and grow and be around others.  But it can be hard with all the assignments and teaching and just doing.  Sometimes, I am exhausted on Sunday.  It is easier to turn everything over to someone else and expect them to teach me or teach my children.

What I like most about the new program is that it puts more of the responsibility for learning and teaching right back on the family.  I feel like I can grow this way better than before.  I love the idea of bringing the gospel home and spending the day learning even more.  

Healing our Problems

I love this quote!  I have been trying to teach this to my children all their lives.  I try and remember it myself.  I have been known to say:  "Church is for the sinners, not the saints".  Too many of us try way too hard to pretend to be someone we are not on the Sabbath Day.  The problem is, that gets exhausting after a while.  We can't heal our problems if we are always trying to hind them from others. 
This has been brought home to me in such a forceful way.  There is someone at church who does not like me.  They think that I am somehow to blame for something I did not do.  They do not look me in the eye, or are not kind in any way.  It makes going to church a little bit hard for me. 
But, I will be the first to admit that I am not perfect.  It is possible that I have totally wronged someone without meaning to.  It is possible that I have made more than one mistake in this crazy mixed up life of mine.  And it is completely possible that I have managed to offend others in the process. 
When we stop judging others and just love them, we give them permission to change.  We help them in that process.  Just because someone has made a mistake, does not mean that they are completely evil.  The same is true of those whom we perceive to be "good".  We all make mistakes.  We all do things wrong.  We all have more things that we should be doing in our lives.  We all sin. 
So,  as the Sabbath day approaches and we walk into our various churches, let us remember that we are all there for the same reason.  We are there to worship our Lord and Savior.  We are there to seek His forgiveness as well as His spirit.  We aren't there to show anyone else how pious we can be.  We are there because we are His.

There is Room

I really love to listen to Elder Holland speak.  He reminds me of the person that I should be.  I do not like it when people judge me, and I also do not like it when I find myself judging others.  I used to look at people and judge myself by what I perceived them to be.  I have learned that is not a true estimation of me (or them).  I have found some amazing people who do not fit whatever standards that I set for myself.  It does not make them less or me more.  I should only ever judge myself against myself.  Who I want to be, against who I really am. 

I love this quote because there are so many people with questions.  I have questions.  I have always had questions.  It is just that, as I grow older, I am more willing to wait for the answers.  I guess I am looking forward to the next life when all the answers will be there for me to find.  

When I was younger, I wanted everything to be mapped out for me.  I wanted the answers to be written somewhere that I could read and find.  I thought that every single thing was in black and white.  There were no grey areas in life.  It was either wrong or right.  No in-between.  Now I know better.  There are so many shades of grey that I am surprised when I do find my own answers.  I am learning that it is perfectly OK to see things differently than anyone else.  It is fine not to be on the same page as long as we can reach across the distance and be tolerant and understanding.  

I am learning that kindness means a lot more than being right.  And that it can make all the difference in acceptance and love.  I have learned that we don't have to have all the answers to just love each other.  

None of us have all the answers, and every single one of us have questions about doctrine, gospel, scriptures, commandments and even trials and blessings.  Some peoples questions are more intense than others.  Some struggle to understand what is happening and why it is happening.  Some struggle with things that have changed.  Others struggle with the questions of why bad things happen to good people.  

I think the point of this is that the closer to God we become, the less we will need to know every answer.  Sometimes, it is OK to wait for a while and see what happens.  Sometimes answers come after we have our own experiences.  Sometimes answers come through prayers, or friendship, or reading the scriptures,  Sometimes, the answers may never seem to come.  

There are so many things I used to need answers to.  And some I have actually received.  Others I am still working on.  But the one thing I have learned is to not let the things I don't understand cause me to doubt the things that I know are true.   

There are things that I know as surely as I know the sun will rise and the night will come.  There are even more things that I don't know.  

So hold on and remember that someday, we will have the answers to everything we want to know.  The time will come when I suspect that we will look back and wonder how we ever doubted.  When we will see the hand of God through every moment of our lives.  When we will realize that He did not cause the bad and that he walked through it with us every step of the way.  

For me, I refuse to doubt my faith.  For me, church is for all of us imperfect sinners.  It is the place I go when I need to feel comfort and faith.  For me, there is room in that inn for each one of us.  

Church is not for the faint of heart!

"Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way 

that leaves practically nothing unsaid."  

~Walter Winchell~

I never thought that going to church would pose such a problem for me.  It seems as if I am currently the person to gossip about.  It has been a hard enough year without adding the difficulties that I am currently going through in church.  I seem to have had the mistaken impression that church was a supposed to be sanctuary for my soul and my heart.  That I could go there to be closer to my  Heavenly Father.  That I would have support, encouragement and love through my current trials and difficulties.  That I would not be judged.  But today, I am hurting.  I am feeling betrayed and abandoned.  The voices of "I'm not good enough" are screaming through my head and I really want to stay home and hide.  
Don't get me wrong here.  I am not going to do that.  I will be sitting in the bench in the middle of the chapel come Sunday.  I might not want to be there, but I go.  I will listen, I will learn, and I won't let anyone else's actions determine when and how I worship.  
But I will share with you, in this small corner of the world, how much it hurts to be the person who is talked about.  
The Bible tells us:  “The stroke of the whip maketh marks in the flesh: but the stroke of the tongue breaketh the bones.”  Ecclesiasticus 28:17
It sounds to me as if some of the things we say can be destructive to others.  That is a chilling thought.  The voice that utters prayers, speaks softly in public, bears testimony, can also be the same voice that talks about our neighbors, bears false witness, embarrasses others, demeans, screams and even destroys.  “Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing,  My brethren these things ought not so to be.”  James 3:10
I think our words, like our deeds, should also be filled with the virtues of faith, hope and charity.  Our words should lift each other up, and not put each other down.  Our words should provide comfort, love and sanctuary to those who would listen.  May we each strive just a little harder to think before we speak and to be more Christlike in both Word and Deed.  

It is one of my sources of happiness 

never to desire a knowledge of other people's business. 

 ~Dolley Madison~

The Silent Sound

Did you know that there is a sound that children can hear, but their parents can't?  I have heard about it before, but never known where to find it.  I have heard about it because I sometimes teach college classes and cell phones continue to be a big problem in class.  Presbycusis is a common degenerative condition that affects most adults. (How is that for a fancy name of a condition that you just might have!  Do you feel old yet?)
People who are affected by this usually start losing the ability to hear higher frequency noises around the age of 18 and their hearing progressively deteriorates throughout their later years in life. Can you believe that the association between advanced age and high-tone deafness was first described by a Dutch scientist in 1899.
This condition is considered a natural side effect of aging, and the exact cause of this type of hearing loss is unknown.
Modern day teenagers have discovered a way to take advantage of this unique situation.  There are cell phone ring tones on the web that allow teenagers to hear this sound in places that receiving calls or text messages might be inappropriate.  Places like church, school, concerts and work.
I was surfing the web the other night (something I like to do, but don't usually find the time for) and I came across a website that plays the sound over your computer.  As long as the speakers are on you can hear (or not hear) the noise.  It is called a mosquito ring tone.  I went to one of the web sites and played the "noise" over my computer.  All three of the girls immediately said, "what is that annoying noise?  What is making that sound".  They started looking around for it.  My husband said, "What noise?  There is no unusual noise in here."  The girls than started to explain the noise to him.  He did not believe them.  They argued about the buzzing sound.  I sat, smiling at my computer.

How does what you hear or don't hear make a difference in learning the gospel?  We have heard often, that we need to become as little children.  My little children can hear things that I can't.  They can listen to things that I don't know.  Maybe the message should be to learn to listen as a child would listen.  To really pay attention to that soft sound.
How many of you have ever sat in a church meeting, or gospel discussion and had something in the talk just really make a difference in how you look at things?  Have you ever wondered why others don't learn the same information that you do?  I have.  Especially when I believe that it is a great talk or lesson.

I was reading in one of the past ensigns and found this thought:
"Now I would ask you to think about...your own ability to have great spiritual experiences as you attend a class or a sacrament meeting on Sunday. What is your role in creating the environment in which the Spirit can teach you the things you need to know?  If you find a Church class or a sacrament meeting boring, does that say more about the teacher—or about you?
Consider the response of President Spencer W. Kimball (1895–1985) when someone once asked him, “What do you do if you find yourself caught in a boring sacrament meeting?” President Kimball thought a moment, then replied, “I don’t know; I’ve never been in one.”  With his long years of Church experience, President Kimball had undoubtedly been to many meetings where people had read their talks, spoken in a monotone, or given travelogues instead of teaching doctrine. But most likely, President Kimball was teaching that he did not go to sacrament meeting to be entertained; he went to worship the Lord, renew his covenants, and be taught from on high. If he attended with an open heart, a desire to be “nourished by the good word of God” (Moroni 6:4), and a prayer—rather than judgment—for the speakers, the Spirit would teach him what he needed to do to be a more effective and faithful disciple. President Kimball was teaching the principle of learning by the Spirit"  (A. Roger Merrill, “To Be Edified and Rejoice Together,” Ensign, Jan 2007, 64–69).  

This simple story about President Kimball really struck a cord in me.  I could not say the same thing about my own experiences in church meetings.  I think that President Kimball was trying to teach me that I need to take responsibility for my own learning.  I need to do the things to prepare myself so that the Spirit can teach me.
I have sometimes heard people complain that they did not like a lesson or talk.  I know that there have been weeks where I don't think that I learned anything.  Reading this about President Kimball made me take another look at the way I do things.
I have learned that part of taking responsibility for my own learning means taking the time to prepare to be taught.  When I read my scriptures daily, study the lesson, and pray for the teachers and the speakers, I have found that I get much more out of my meetings.  I also started carrying a composition notebook and pen in my scriptures.  It is a small one that fits in the pocket of my scripture case.  I use that to write down the thoughts, scriptures, and stories that mean the most to me.  I try to find at least one thing in every talk that applies to me.  I have been doing this for a little more than two months now, and I can honestly say that I have not been to a boring meeting since I have started this experiment.

So, take this challenge and prepare yourself to be taught.  You might just be a little surprised as your ears are opened and you hear the lessons that the Lord wants you to hear and find a way to apply them in your life.   And you just might find out (as I have done) that there really are no boring Sacrament meetings.

By the way, I didn't hear the mosquito noise either, but I sure wasn't going to let my girls know that!  Sometimes, what they don't know, won't have the chance to hurt them!

For the times we question our faith

Sometimes, it appears as if the people at church are so perfect.  We see them at their Sunday best and compare them to ourselves as we see ourselves at our very worst.  Maybe those people at church are not as perfect as they seem to us.  And maybe they are at a different stage of their lives and the things that are trials for us, are not trials for them.  None of us are perfect, but the gospel is perfect and as we go to church we learn how to become more like our Savior.  I think that sometimes we need to focus a little bit more on what we can give and bring to a ward instead of what the ward can do or should do for us.

I love this quote from Joseph B. Wirthlin:
"The Church is not a place where perfect people gather to say perfect things, or have perfect thoughts, or have perfect feelings. The Church is a place where imperfect people gather to provide encouragement, support, and service to each other as we press on in our journey to return to our Heavenly Father."

"Each one of us will travel a different road during this life. Each progresses at a different rate. Temptations that trouble your brother may not challenge you at all. Strengths that you possess may seem impossible to another."

The Lord wants nothing more from you than your best, however good that is.  He does not ask you to be like anyone else.  He only wants you to be like yourself.  He wants you to return to Him. On the other hand, Satan wants nothing more for you than to have you lose your way.  He wants to confuse you and lead you astray until you can't imagine finding your way back. 

Some of us have had the unfortunate experience of choosing to hear Satan's confusing words and turning our backs on the gospel in our lives. I know that I have. I have to tell you, that I NEVER look back at that time without regret. I had some really bad things happen to me and I just couldn't believe that a real, loving Heavenly Father would allow those things to happen. I got some bad advice from a non Latter Day Saint councilor to not do any church work or volunteer work for awhile.
Well, for the first time in my life, I asked to be released from all my callings.  I did not hold any callings, and because I was not serving, I found it so easy to go inactive and make some bad decisions. I can't blame anyone else for my own mistakes. But, suffice it to say, that I went inactive for a period of time and there was no where I felt safe to get the help I needed. It was such a hard time in my life! After two years, I moved into a ward with a wonderful Bishop (who is now in the seventies quarum), he accepted me just as I was, with all my faults and failings and focused on helping me to regain my testimony.
The person I am now, almost can not believe that I was once so lost! I have come to have a very strong testimony, but I would never risk it by saying that I can never go astray, I know better. You need to find out for yourself, nothing wavering, whether the things you know are true.  When you get that answer, you need to cherish it and nurture it to keep it strong. 

Alma 32:28  Now, we will compare the word unto a seed. Now, if ye give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart, behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your unbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts; and when you feel these swelling motions, ye will begin to say within yourselves—It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me.

The very best advice I ever got was to read the Book of Mormon and pray about it. Pray hard! Until you know you have the answer. Once you have that as a foundation for you testimony, the rest will fall into place. Once that testimony wasn't wavering, it became so much easier for me to accept whatever the Lord sends my way. Seems to me, that when I discovered the Book of Mormon was true, the rest didn't seem to matter quite so much.  I know now that I don't have to understand. Sometimes I just have to accept that the time will come when it will all make sense.  We all have to accept things that we aren't sure of. That is called faith. Some are just better grounded and come out of it sooner. Some are hard learners like me! :-)
You each have so much worth!  Remember that you are a child of divine parentage.  Your Heavenly Father loves you and has provided a way for you to return to him.  
President Monson gave the Sisters three goals to work toward.  Those goals are:

1. Study diligently.
2. Pray earnestly.
3. Serve willingly.

If you do those things I promise that your testimony will be strong and bright.  You will feel your Heavenly Father's spirit.  You will know the truth of all things.  President Gordon B. Hinckley, said of women, “God planted within women something divine that expresses itself in quiet strength, in refinement, in peace, in goodness, in virtue, in truth, in love.
I Promise you that He loves you and cares for you and will help you as you journey through this life and into the next.  Not only will He help you, He will give you a blessing that there will not be room enough to receive!
I bear witness of these things.