Finding the Pearls

Sometimes, we focus so long and hard upon the storms, that we forget to look for the pearls.  I had a Relief Society Meeting Saturday at the Stake Center.  There were women who talked about the trials they are facing now.
One woman is a widow.  Her husband passed away from Cancer.  She talked of the trial of his illness and the grief.  She talked about the healing in the temple and the strength that she has found within herself.  She spoke of service, compassion and love.
Another sister spoke of having a disabled daughter.  The true light this daughter brings to their family.  The things she has taught them all.  Her smile and her laughter.  Her love.  Her mind will always be about a year old, but her joy is everlasting.
Another sister spoke of having a serious illness and the trials that have come from learning to deal with the results of major surgery to her face.  She talks of the difficulty of facing others, and of facing herself in the mirror.  She talks of the trials and the strength's and the blessings that she has received.
I would have loved to have copies of all the talks to share.  I am only sharing the bare bones of them.  Perhaps the gift for me is that I know them.  I know that they do not focus on the hard in their lives, but on the good.  I have seen them endure, smile and carry on.
But the most amazing thing to me is how their struggle and trials have helped their testimonies.  They have learned to find the pearls in the midst of continuing storms.  They each had a positive to share from their experiences.  They have each known hope and despair, trial and grief, pain and misunderstanding.  Yet through it all, they were each able to say that they knew Heavenly Father loved them, was with them, looked out for them and blessed them.
They found their pearls.  

Everything you need

This has been a hard thing for me to learn.  I did without for so many years, that I tend to collect things now.  I really don't need anymore of pretty much anything.  I am out of space to put everything and the dust bunnies are ready to run away with my house!!  I think they are on the attack!
Why is it so easy to want the next big thing?  To look forward to tomorrow, or next week, or even next year?  Why do we waste so much of our lives looking for the next moment? 
I can remember saying,
I will be happy when they are all out of diapers.
I will be happy when they can feed themselves.
I will be happy when they don't mess up the house.
I will be happy when I am retired
I will be happy when.............

I am thinking that Heavenly Father doesn't want us to wait to be happy.  He wants us to find things that bring us joy every single day.  They can be simple things, or more complex.  I love the way my Grand children smile and laugh and giggle.  I love the way my teenage girls are learning to help each other and be kinder to each other. 

I love living in the now.

This Christmas, I received one of the greatest gifts I could have imagined.  Christmas is hard for me.  It is the busiest season at work, I usually have a lot to worry about, (money, hours, people, packages, ect....)  It is also busy at the fire department where I volunteer.  People get sick any time and the holidays don't make it any better.  Sometimes, it is even a little bit worse. 
To top it off, my husband loves to be Santa.  He goes to the valley every weekend and does his "Santa Gigs".  He loves it.  However, 7 days a week work, me having to teach his church class as well as the Primary music every week, makes Mom and little bit cranky. 
He has 3 Santa appointments on Christmas Eve and to top that off, a blizzard blew in that evening.  We were not sure that he was going to make it home that night.  We have a tradition for Christmas Eve.  We all open one gift, and that gift is always Pajamas.  The girls decided (on their own with no prompting from me) that they would wait to open their Pajama's until Dad got home safely.  Midnight came around and He was taking it slow up the rim when I got a call for the Fire Department to go out in the storm and drive someone to the hospital. 
Imagine my surprise when I came home at 3:00AM to find my family snuggled up on the couch, sleeping, and waiting for me.  So, we all opened our Christmas eve Pajamas and slept in.  It was amazing. 
Then the next morning the girls (again on their own) decided that we weren't going to open any Christmas presents until their brother got home later that day.  Not once did anyone complain.  We had Miracle and Quinn over, made a nice dinner and enjoyed it as a family and then opened gifts at about 7:00PM. 
All I could think of what that this was Heavenly Father's way of showing me that I have made a difference in my own small corner of the world. 
I love that corner!
I love everything and everyone that are in it.
I love living in the now
All that I have really is everything that I need.

Giving Thanks

 

I have discovered that this is one of those sayings that rings true for me.  When I am thankful for whatever I have, I actually feel closer to my Heavenly Father, and I more often am able to feel His love for me. 

I love the holidays.  I love Thanksgiving and the transition into Christmas.  I don't love black Friday, or Cyber Monday, although if I had to pick, I would take the cyber part of it all.  I don't do well in big crowds of pushy people.  Especially ones who grab things out of my cart and walk in front of me.  The anxiety that I live with on a daily basis goes right through the roof.  My heart rate goes up, I start shaking and I just can't hold myself together. 

I have learned that there are some things, (and some deals), that just aren't worth it to me anymore.  When we focus on the things that we have to be thankful for, instead of all the problems and the worries and the wants, we start to recognize how very much we are blessed.  As I realize that in my own life, the troubles don't seem to hang over me quite so much.  Oh, don't get me wrong, they are still very much there, but they cease to be as all consuming as they once were. 

I love that thankfulness can unlock to doors of heaven.  I love to serve others, and nothing feels quite as good as a sincerely given "Thank you".  I can see God's hand in my own life.  I know that He loves each and every one of us.  I know that there are angels that help us here upon the earth.  Sometimes, they might be heavenly beings, but more often than not, those angels are walking among us, just doing their best to make a difference. 

I have decided, that part of heaven is found when we try to make a difference in the lives of others along the way. 

Something Sacred

Who knew that Mr. Rogers could be so profound!  I love this.  I love that we can all choose to be more Christ-like in our lives through loving and serving those around us.  I love that it can be a sacred responsibility.  I especially like where he says appreciation is a holy thing.   How many times do we, in the very human mess that we live in, fail to appreciate the efforts of someone else?  How many times do we think that we can change things tomorrow? 
It is easy to think about the things that we wish we could have done, or the things we wanted to see, or even the person that we would like to become.  It is easy to place blame somewhere, anywhere else.  We can lose our focus and not appreciate those whom we love the most. 
I have learned that it does not matter how people behave in public, I want to know how they behave in private.  I want to know how the speak to their wives and children, to their families and close friends.  One thing that I have observed in life, is that we tend to treat strangers better than we treat our families.  We expect more from our families. 
A good example of that is found in my own life.  Many, many years ago, I was the person who always signed up to bring dinner to others, or make cakes for birthdays.  Once, I only had one cake mix left in the cupboard and needed to make a birthday cake for a friend, so I did.  One of my small children was so very disappointed that I made something for someone else and not them that he started crying, and told me that I "never did anything nice like that for them". 
Now, I know that little boy was exaggerating, but something in his tone and tears hit me right in the heart.  I vowed then to change so that my children would never think I saw them a second best.  I can't say that I am always as successful as I want to be, but I can say that I am more successful than I used to be.  Today, when I make dinner and dessert for someone else, we make the same thing for our own house.  If I make brownies, or rice krispies treats, I make them for home too. 
My family could never be second best to me.  I am pretty sure that most people feel the same way about their own families, so, if we are supposed to love our neighbor as ourselves, our own family needs to feel and see that love first, not second or third.  They should feel our love in both our words and our deeds. 
As I struggle to become more Christ-like in my life, I really can't think of a better place to start than right in my own home. 

Gratitude - The Gift of Silence

 

The gift of silence is an invitation to intentionally seek out quiet moments for yourself. Check out the sounds that are around you right at this moment. What do you hear? Is the TV or radio on? Can you detect the sounds of traffic outside or the hum of a computer at your desk?  Are the children yelling in the background?  Are the chickens clucking and the ducks quacking and the goats yelling to be milked?  Oh, that would be my life!  Sorry about that!  
We are constantly surrounded by sounds and I am learning that the cumulative effect of noise can lead to increased stress and overstimulation.

Remember that there can be noise on the outside and noise on the inside. While we can turn off a TV, it is not always easy to turn down the volume of the thoughts inside our own heads. Sometimes it is especially hard to let go of the noise of worry and concern that surrounds us.  I know it is something I really have to struggle with. 

The noise on the inside can keep me from finding peace.  It can keep me from prayer, from scriptures, from meditation, from relaxing.  I get so involved with the noise that I can't handle everything that I need to do.  And so, I have learned to walk.  To get up and go outside.  To listen to the sounds of the birds and the squirrels.  To let go of the hum of business that I am caught up in and to just take a breath and enjoy the silence of a moment.  This month, I choose to give myself this amazing gift.  10 minutes or more of silence each day, so that I can get back on track. 
So that I can breath. 
So that I can find myself amongst the noise and confusion that surrounds me. 
So that I can find Him.

 

Touching Heaven

I have some personal experiences with this one.  I used to really struggle with being grateful for my life.  I have learned that we all have things that happen to us.  We all have difficulties and distress.  We all have trials.  It is easy to get ourselves so wrapped up in what is wrong with our lives, that we forget to look at all the things that are actually right. 
When I changed my sight from the things that have gone wrong, to the blessings that I am surrounded with, things became a lot easier.  The more I focused on the good, the less the problems that I was dealing with overwhelmed me.  The more I looked with gratitude at the world, the more blessings I found and recognized in my own life. 
I have learned, that as hard as it can be to find something to be thankful for, right this very minute, the more blessed I realize that I am when I make the effort in spite of my trials.  There are so many happy moments that surround us.  It was easy to find the things to be grateful for when I started with the basics.  When I covered my family, my home, and the gospel, I continued to find even more in the world around me.  Our Heavenly Father did not place us here to be miserable, and as much as I really hate to admit it, the ability to wallow in misery is truly a choice. 
What a beautiful thought for me today, the prospect of touching heaven through gratitude.  It encourages me to go right now and focus on something else that is a blessing.  It reminds me that we can each touch our own small part of heaven right here and right now.  All we have to do is find something to be thankful for and focus on that which is positive in our lives.  What a blessing!  What a gift!  What a choice! 
May we all come just a little bit closer to Heaven on earth as we reach, and grow, and learn, and most of all, give thanks every single day of our lives. 
 

Gratitude - Day 3 - Memoir Monday

It is not happy people who are thankful,

It is thankful people who are happy.

Now that my 31 days of writing is over, I thought that I would get back on track with some of the things that I normally write about.  Today, I wanted to share what Thanksgiving means to me.
I have had to learn about Thanksgiving the hard way.  I was divorced when my older children were young.  Thanksgiving became a time of sharing where everyone went different directions on different years.  Eventually, we were able to get it worked out, but not without all of us giving up something.
I learned that Thanksgiving is not a single day.  It is an attitude.  It can be any day or any weekend that I need it to be.  I learned that we could have Thanksgiving on Sunday instead of Thursday, that we could juggle the times between different families and that the thing that was most important was that we would all be together.
Over the years, I have given a lot up to try and keep my family together.  It was not always easy, sometimes it was more difficult than I ever imagined, but I think for the most part, we have succeeded.  We have learned that dinner does not always include turkey (especially if we are tired of it) and that it can be anything we want it to be.
Some years we dress up and some years we don't.  We have burned the turkey before, and had the fryer not work and had to pressure it one year.  We have even had fish sticks once because that was all we could afford.
It helps me so much to not think of Thanksgiving as a single day, but more as a season and an attitude.  We all pitch in and find something we love to bring and share and make and take home.
This year, our Thanksgiving will be on Friday after I get off work, instead of on Thursday.  We are having company that can't come until then.  So, we will do something else on Thursday.
For me, the best part of all is being surrounded by those that I love.  It is feeling a part of something that is bigger than myself.  It is being thankful and appreciative for the blessings that we do have, rather than the ones we don't.
Being thankful every single year, is a choice.

Gratitude - Day 2 - Sabbath Day Scribblings

Doctrine & Covenants 78:19
And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more.