Be Here

 

We live in an age of electronics and text messaging.  A time of blogging and facebook and twitter and even snapchat.  A time when it is easy to get lost in the view of the world, without really being part of what is going on around us. 

I have heard so often that there are times when we need to "disconnect".  It is easy to let life rule you with alarms and texts and emails and projects.  But sometimes, we just need to be in the here and now.  We need to stop and look around us.  We need to be right here, exactly where are feet are. 

When we are living in the moment, instead of in the future or the past, it is easier to be kind to ourselves.  It is easier to find joy and satisfaction.  When we can see our children playing with the puppy, or laughing at the birds or bouncing on the trampoline, we can be a part of their lives instead of passive observers along the way. 

I love to take pictures.  I love photography and the chances I have had to observe what is going on around me, however, I don't think I ever realized before how often I am not in the pictures.  I am the left out observer and recorder of the events.  When I look back through the family photography, I am missing from most of the shots.  I really do hate having my picture taken.  But I am realizing that there are times when we all need to be a participant, exactly here and now, and not on the outside looking in.  There are times when we need to come out from behind the viewer and be in front of the lens. 

We need to be

right where our feet are.

 

 

Every Single Scar

I have felt his way for a very long time.  There are things in my life that I could wish away!  But when I really stop and think about it, all those things have led me to this place right here that I am living. 
One of the most important things I have learned about trials, is that the Lord never gives us a trial without also providing a blessing for us.  Often the blessing is not noticed for a time, but that does not negate the fact that it is there.  I do not believe that God causes bad things to happen to us.  I do believe that things happen for one of three reasons:

1. Our own sins.
2.  The sins of others.
3.  It is part of living our lives.

Yes, I like to simplify things.  But it helps me in the long run to NOT blame God. 
Sometimes, we suffer because of our own choices.  Driving and texting and getting in an accident is one way.  I know of people that it has taken nearly a year to heal from injuries received while texting and driving.  That is a lot of consequences to be faced with, for anyone. 
Sometimes we suffer because of the choices of others, jealousy, hate, envy and even murder all can be the cause of crimes against us that were not our fault.  I don't believe the Lord causes anyone to murder or be violent.  Nor do I believe the "devil made them do it".  Rather it is the consequences of a very bad choice on their part that leads to a very bad outcome for someone else. 
We also suffer because it is life.  We get sick, we get hurt, we have disease.  I have depression and anxiety, no because of anything that I have done to myself, but because it is life and that is how I cope with it.  It doesn't mean I have to like it.  It does mean that I need to know my own limits.  Something that I am realllllly trying to learn.

I am grateful for my scars.  I am glad they are over and that I am not still going through them, but they truly have made me into the woman I am today.  Many of them have given me the courage to fight for others.  I have become independent and strong.  I expect a lot of myself.  I work hard. 
There are also things that I have learned that I wish I could unlearn.  So, I am working on those.  You really CAN teach an old dog new tricks!  For me, I want to learn to play.  I am trying to do more games with my family.  I am not a game person.  Life has taught me to be serious more than silly and that is not the type of Grandmother that I want to be.  So, I am trying to learn and grow in other ways. 
We can all have gratitude for the lives that we are given and the people in our lives that help us to become our best selves.  I am not sure that I have to be grateful to those who have hurt me or the ones that I love, but I can work my hardest on forgiveness and trust that in the end, somehow in ways I don't understand, we will all be made whole. 

Dream a New Dream

I have learned that we all have dreams.  It doesn't matter what age we are, or what stage of life we are in.  We each have a dream for today or the future as we want it to be.  We each look at our lives and hope to change or add something to it.  That is the really amazing thing about life.  No matter what we have done yesterday or today, our story is not over.  Any single one of us can start today and re-write the ending of our own story.  We can decide who we are going to become. 
Life is amazing.  I have a friend who I would never have thought would ever embrace the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  She has had lots of reasons to never be involved.  Her family does not support her decision.  She had to wait until she was old enough that she could live on her own.  She joined the church in spite of her parents wishes.  It has been years since that decision was made and she still has no contact with her family.  They disowned her when she was baptized.  She had to leave the country of her birth and come to America where she started over.  She married in the Temple and has children today who have never known their grandparents.  As far as she knows, they never will.
She had a dream, she chose to follow that dream in spite of the consequences.  And there were definitely consequences. 
I think we all have dreams.  Whether or not we fulfill them depends, to an extent, on what we are willing to do to bring them to pass.  What are we willing to give up?  I have a daughter who wanted to be out of debt.  She wanted it bad enough that she was willing to live very frugally in order to make it happen.  She did without new things, she lived on a very strict budget, but today, she has brought that dream to pass.  Now they are saving for their own home.  I am so impressed with her willingness to sacrifice what she wants right now, for something that is so much better. 
I included the words to one of my favorite ABBA songs.  I have always loved it because it reminds me that the time really is right for me.  May we all have something that we have dreamed of happen in our lives.  May we all be willing to sacrifice what we want right now for our dreams of later.  May we feel loved and blessed even when we fail.  May we realize that the destination makes it all worth while. 

I Have a Dream

ABBA

I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream, I have a dream

I have a dream, a fantasy
To help me through reality
And my destination makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness
Still another mile
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream, I have a dream

I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream, I have a dream
I'll cross the stream, I have a dream