What Is Whole

WHOLE:
Adjective:  All of; entire: "he spent the whole day walking".
Noun:  A thing that is complete in itself: "a coherent whole".
Adverb:  Used to emphasize the novelty or distinctness of something: "he's given a whole new meaning to the term “cowboy.”".

What is the meaning of the world "whole"  I have thought of it as a whole pie, a whole day, a whole family.  I have thought of so many things, but today, I am thinking of how it applies to me.  When am I whole?  Have I ever been whole?  Is it something I was before?  Or something that I can become? 

I sometimes don't know what whole really is.  I want to be whole.  I want to be complete.  I want to be happy with myself, but there seems to be things in the way.  There are bits and pieces of me strung throughout the moments of my life.  Some things have been given to others, some have been returned.  I have been hurt, angered, neglected, and even not worthy.  I have also been contented, happy, cared for and loved.  

I seem to be a contradiction in terms and abilities.  

After years of feeling imperfect and never good enough, years of dealing with the burdens of hurt and pain, I finally turned to the Lord to heal my heart.  

One night, reading my scriptures, I came across the story of the woman in the New Testament that had an illness for a long time.  She spent many years seeking the advice of physicians and trying to figure out what was wrong.  

She turned to the Savior, and thought to herself that if she could just touch the hem of His garment, she would be healed.  The Savior felt her need and turned to the crowd to ask who had touched Him.  I love the next verses:

“But the woman fearing and trembling, knowing what was done in her, came and fell down before him, and told him all the truth.
And he said unto her, “Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace, and be whole of thy plague” (Mark 5:33–34).

In that moment, the Spirit taught me what it means to be made whole.  I realize that it does not always (or even usually) mean being healed from our physical imperfections.  It does mean that when we come to the Savior, He will heal our hearts.  To be made whole, we need to reach out to Him in faith and belief.  We need to realize that only He can make us whole.  We cannot now, nor can we ever be whole without Him.
In the most important ways, my life has changed.  The Savior continues to heal my heart as I come to Him and lay my burdens literally at His feet.
I have learned that no matter what is wrong in my own life, I can come to Him and He will help me endure my difficulties.  Wholeness doesn't come from within myself, but from faith in a Savior who will calm, comfort and heal my heart.
Until I become
Whole through faith,
Whole through grace,
And whole through the greatest gift of all,
His eternal love.