Embrace Belief

 

Sometimes, it is so easy to doubt.  It is a choice that we all succumb to now and then.  We live in a world of instant gratification.  We want something, and we want it right now.  We get instant TV, instant entertainment, instant meals, instant shipping.  We can order something today and have it later today or tomorrow, just as if we went to the store for it, but without all the bother of actually doing it.  In all of this crazy mixed up world of instantness, we also have our own fears and doubts. 

I think that Heavenly Father is not an instant God.  He doesn't give us what we are praying for right this minute.  He usually makes us exercise a little faith first.  Think about waiting for baptism, waiting for the Priesthood, waiting to go to the temple.  Waiting, constantly waiting.

I love the story of Meshach, Shadrach and Abednego in the Old Testament.  Three Hebrew men thrown into a fiery furnace by Nebuchadnezzar, king of Babylon, when they refuse to bow down to the king's image; the three are preserved from harm and the king sees four men walking in the flames, "the fourth ... like a son of God".   

I love that God did not ask them to go through this alone.  That He was there with them all through their trials.  I love that it mattered to Him that they felt His love for them.  Because they did not doubt, but instead embraced their belief, they were blessed to see God.  They were blessed to come out of their trials stronger than before.  They were blessed to bring change to the world around them. 

There are times when we all doubt, when we fear, when we questions, when we don't know the answers to the problems.  There are times when life is hard, when it is not fair, when their seems to be no justice or mercy or even love.   But I have learned that doubting is a choice.  I have learned that sometimes we have to wait for the answers to the questions.  Sometimes those answers take even longer to come than we ever imagined. 

In spite of the doubts, we can still find hope and belief and even joy.  We can choose to embrace the good and let go of whatever it is that is holding us back. 

We choose to embrace the light instead of the darkness. 

We choose hope.

We choose belief.

We choose joy.

We choose Him.

 

 

 

Lessons for the Weary - Conference 2018 - Am I a Child of God

 

Romans 8: 16 -  The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God

 

Am I a Child of God

by Elder Brian Taylor

 

President Boyd K. Packer’s words are plain and precious: “You are a child of God. He is the father of your spirit. Spiritually, you are of noble birth, the offspring of the King of Heaven. Fix that truth in your mind and hold to it. However many generations in your mortal ancestry, no matter what race or people you represent, the pedigree of your spirit can be written on a single line. You are a child of God!”

“When you … see our Father,” Brigham Young described, “you will see a being with whom you have long been acquainted, and he will receive you into his arms, and you will be ready to fall into his embrace and kiss him.”

 

This talk reached out to my heart and reminded me that no matter what you DNA says, you are identified as a Son or Daughter of God.  You have worth in His eyes, and He loves you.

 

The one who seeks to confuse us, wants our identities to be confused also.  He wants us to embrace our differences and to allow them to divide us, not bring us together.  You have only to look around you at the world today and you can see the evidence of confusion and anger.  You can see that we are challenged always in a world that doesn't want to acknowledge our spiritual identity. 

 

I invite each of us to seek God and His Beloved Son. “Nowhere,” President Nelson directed, “are those truths taught more clearly and powerfully than in the Book of Mormon.”²⁷ Open its pages and learn that God does “all things for [our] welfare and happiness”;²⁸ that He is “merciful and gracious, slow to anger, long-suffering and full of goodness”;²⁹ and that “all are alike unto [Him].”³⁰ When you feel hurt, lost, scared, upset, sad, hungry, or hopelessly abandoned in life’s extremities³¹—open the Book of Mormon, and you will come to know that “[God] will never desert us. He never has, and He never will. He cannot do it. It is not His character [to do so].”³²

Coming to know our Father changes everything, especially our hearts, as His gentle Spirit confirms our true identity and great worth in His sight.³³ God walks with us along the covenant path as we seek Him through prayerful pleadings, scriptural searchings, and obedient strivings.

 

The message of this talk to me is so clear.  We need to turn our hearts to Him, to seek to know Him, to know how very much we are loved by Him.  His hands are reaching toward each one of us.  It is up to you and me if we will reach out to take those hands, and the comfort and hope that they offer.  We are truly children of God. 

 

Sabbath Day Scribblings- Risen Hope

This painting is entitled, “Risen Hope,” by Joseph Brickey  

“The light reinforces that idea of overcoming death and darkness, of rising above despair, of finding hope,” Brickey said. “Not only is Christ risen, but also Mary’s hope rises when she hears her name from His lips. She represents each of us—this very personal interaction typifies Christ’s role in our lives. He knows us. He watches over us when we weep. His voice overcomes darkness and brings resplendent hope.”

"Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord".  Romans 8:39 

Sabbath Day Scribblings - Hope maketh me not ashamed

Romans 5:3-5

3 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;

4 And patience, experience; and experience, hope:

5 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

More Faith

 

I love the scripture from Matthew:

“And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.”     Matthew 17:20

Just a little bit of faith.  Just a tiny amount, and we could accomplish so very much.  I think that He used the mustard seed specifically for a reason.   It is a very small seed, yet it grows into a very large tree.  I think that if we have even a small amount of faith, the Lord will help it grow within us until we can accomplish many great things in His name.  We have to plant faith through study and prayer.  We need to ponder upon the words and the scriptures.  We take those things into our lives and live as if we have faith.  We start to grow and learn and grow some more.  We come to know Him and as we do, our lives are changed.  We become blessed to see and to live and to become. 
There are so many blessings for each of us in these trying times.  It becomes easy to focus on the one big thing that is wrong, instead of the multitudes of small things that are actually right.  We become blinded by what we are looking at, instead of focusing on the other things that surround us. 
I believe that we all have just a little more faith that we think we have.  We have a little more belief, a little more hope, and a little more love.  Most of us are struggling, right where we are, to do our very best.  To become our best selves.  Many times we feel as if we are failing because we look to others to gage our own success. 
When I focus on where I have been, and what I have overcome in my life, I am amazed at the blessings that God has given to me.  His love and compassion overwhelms me.  It is only when I change my focus to "where I should be", that the doubts creep in.  I know that I "could've, would've and should've" myself right into the ground. 
I am so thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who knows me.  He doesn't compare me to anyone else.  I am loved because of who I am and whose I am.  I am cared for and appreciated.  I am blessed in spite of myself.  Since He loves me, I know that He wants me to succeed in this life.  I am not quite sure what success for me will look like.  You see, I think that is only something that He can judge.  The things that I do, just might look much different than the things that you do.  It doesn't mean that He loves me less and you more. 
I believe, that just as I love each of my children for their own individuality and their own unique struggles and commitments, that He also loves us.  He is a much better parent than I will ever be.  He knows each and every one of us.  He knows our thoughts, our minds and our hearts.  He knows the things we have done, and He also knows the why. 
I think, that as I struggle to find that teeny tiny bit of faith within my heart, I also struggle to become just a little more like Him. 
Perhaps that is what makes all the difference.
 

The Blessings Will Come

This can be a hard one for me to remember.  Yet, I have found it to be so true!  Especially in the past few years of my life.  As hard as things have been, as upset as I have been, as angry and hurt as I have been, there are still blessings.  I find them on a daily basis.  They are often in the little things, but they are definitely there. 
Blessings can be as simple as a text message from a friend, a smile, a shared tear, they can be big or small, but there are completely recognizable, at least they are when we pay attention.  I would be remiss in acknowledging my blessings, if I did not also acknowledge the hand of my Heavenly Father in my life. 
With as hard a life as I have been "blessed" with, it is easy to overlook the blessings when I am not focused on them.  It is always a little bit easier to find the negative, rather than the positive in life.  We are surrounded by negativity.  It is in everything we watch and listen to.  On the other hand, we have to really try and remain positive through it all. 
When I only look at the negative, I find myself being caught up in the mess of depression.  I judge myself more harshly, I fail easier, I find all the faults instead of the promises.  When I focus on the positive, I find myself surrounded by that also.  I find the beauty in the moment, I find the gift of friendship, I discover how uplifting it is to smile. 
When I focus on the positive, I realize that I love life, in all its messy bits and pieces.  I love the hope and the prospects of the future.  I love seeing the divinity in the eyes of His children.  I find myself drawing ever nearer to Him. 

Begin With Hope

We all have times in our lives when things change, when they need to change.  We all wonder where we are going to start, or how we are possibly going to finish.  When we look at the entire prospect of change, good or bad, we can be very overwhelmed.  But when we start just one step at a time, we begin to feel hope that we just might get through this. 

We start out with so much hope!  When we are children, we believe that tomorrow is going to be a better day.  We believe that everything will work out.  We believe that things are simple and that we are nearly invincible.  We begin our lives with hope.  Hope that we will be loved.  That we will grow and be nourished.  

We grow up with our hopes and dreams getting squished and moved around in our hearts.  Life can suck the hope right out of you if you let it.  

We grow up with fairy tales and happily ever afters in our thoughts and dreams.  Most of the time, reality does not quite live up the the illusion, and if it does, it is usually after great trials that we find those blessings.  

It can be hard to find hope in the world today.  Hard to find it when you heart is aching, when you are exhausted, when you are stressed, and when you don't know how you are going to pay the bills because you just lost your income.  

Hope is that little voice inside your head that tells you to try again tomorrow, hope reminds you that all is not lost, hope tells you that you are worth loving.  Hope begins with every step we take in the right direction.  

If you listen

I have heard Paul Cardall speak, I have heard him sing.  He is pretty amazing.  What I really love about him though, is the things he has overcome.  How he keeps on being positive in spite of the trials he faces.  How he relies on his Heavenly Father to get him through it.  I am trying to be more like that. 
I try and listen.  I search.  I pray.  But I have a very hard time believing that everything is going to be OK.  I suppose it is a trust issue on my part.  I hate having bad things happen, and there is this part of me that believes they are going to keep happening, over and over again.  There is a part of me that believes I deserve the bad things and not the good.  There is a part that feels like I am being punished. 
I think there are times when we all feel that way.  When the prospect of grace is just too overwhelming to even begin to comprehend.  When our sins haunt our hearts and disturb our rest.  When perfection is something we should be obtaining.  Sometimes, it is as simple as what my mind thinks it knows and what my heart believes. 
Today, I am trying to convince myself that everything is going to work out alright.  Maybe, just maybe, I will do it.

AMAZING GRACE

Amazing grace how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now I'm found.
Was blind but now I see.
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved.
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed.
When we've been there ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Then when we first begun.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now I'm found.
Was blind, but now I see

The Best Things

I really hate the bad things.  Sometimes they feel so overwhelming.  Sometimes I feel like they are going to last forever and that things will never be the same again.  Sometimes, I can't imagine that they could ever lead to something good. 

Life can be so very hard.  And there are terrible things that happen.  I have had to learn to trust through them.  People sin, they make mistakes, either on accident or on purpose.  It can be impossible to tell which.  But I know that I have made mistakes myself, and the more I read about the atonement of Jesus Christ, the more that I am aware of how much I need it in my own life.  For me, not just for anyone else.  I can honestly say, that as the years pass, I realize that the really bad things have brought me strength and blessings that I never could have realized without them.  I believe that there are always blessings that we gain after the trial is over.  We continue to be blessed by a very loving Heavenly Father.  He doesn't take away the trials, but He does provide the blessings.  I am learning to trust that He will give me the things I need to make it through. 

I have had some hard times, but those things have made me who I am today.  They have given me the strength and love and perserverence that I need to make it through yet more trials.  My dreams have ended up coming true, just not the way I planned.  Today's life is so much better than my own visions of the future. 

I have learned to weather the storms of life.  I wish I could say that I always did it cheerfully and graciously, but sometimes I go kicking and screaming through the trials.  Nevertheless, I am grateful to stand here today and to acknowledge the blessings. 

I know that some of the very worst things in life, lead us eventually to some of the greatest blessings that we will ever experience.  I am not saying that it is easy, as a matter of fact, it is really, really hard.  But I am saying to hold on.  To know that the light will come.  To have faith in tomorrow.  And most of all, the know that your Heavenly Father wants you to know joy.  He wants you to be blessed.  He wants you to be happy. 

And so, today, in the midst of trials, I await the blessings, and I know that they will come. 

Trust

Don't trust everything you see.

Even salt looks like sugar.

One of my favorite April Fools jokes used to be putting salt in the sugar bowl, at least it was until I got in trouble for it!  It wasn't near so much fun when my friends played that one on me.  I really like my sugar.  Darn, somethings just don't taste that same with salt!!  But I learned.  We really can't trust everything.  We can't find all the answers on the internet, or on TV, or even in books.  We live in a society where so many things are available to us at the touch of a button.  We can listen to music, watch movies, even learn a foreign language, all with the flick of the wrist. 

Life is amazing.  But you really can't believe everything you see and hear. 

If we could peek inside the devil's toolbox, I am certain we would see many things that are designed to lead us astray.  He is filled with deception and lies.  He works at taking those things from us that we hold most dear.  He attacks our families, our beliefs, and our values.  He introduces his own ideas and lies all around us. 

Satan leads us astray, not by the things we do so much as by getting us to believe the things that aren't true.  He overwhelms our senses with so much noise and distractions that we can't find the truth in the world around us.  He teaches us that truths are really falsehoods and that falsehoods are the "new" truth.  He teaches us that no one cares or loves us.  He teaches us that the sugar is salt.

We are bombarded with evil and wickedness.  It surrounds us.  It is part of our culture, part of our lives.  It is in everything we see and do.  It is hard to separate ourselves from it.  If we are not careful, it can even seem impossible.

That is why it is so important to follow the voice of the Spirit in our lives today.

President Faust said that following the voice of the Spirit requires patience in a world that demands instant gratification. It is quiet, peaceful, and subtle in a world enamored by that which is loud, incessant, fast-paced, garish, and crude. It requires us to be contemplative while our peers seek physical titillation. . . .
. . . This solution of listening to and following the Spirit may not be popular; it may not get us gain or worldly power. . . .
We must learn to ponder the things of the Spirit and to respond to its promptings. We must filter out the static generated by Satan.
Hearkening to the “voice of the living God” (D&C 50:1) will give us “peace in this world, and eternal life in the world to come” (D&C 59:23). . . .
I believe and testify that our spirits are special spirits and were reserved until this generation to stand strong against the evil winds that blow, and to stand straight and upright with the heavy burdens that will be placed on us. [Faust, “The Voice of the Spirit,” p. 10]

As we seek to stand strong, we need to be willing to listen to the still small voice as it seeks to guide us.  We have to recognize the deceit and find the peace that is promised.  We have to still the deafening noise and falsehoods.  We have to separate the sugar and the salt and find His truth.

Sabbath Day Scribblings - Patience, A Calm Acceptance

Patience, is the calm acceptance

that things can happen 

in a different order than the one

you had in mind.  

 

I am forced to admit, that I don't like setbacks.  I struggle to find the time for healing and rest in my busy life.  I have found that Heavenly Father knows what I need so much better than I do.  We might not be able to take the hike we wanted, or walk in the mornings, but we learn to do other things and take care of ourselves in the meantime. 

My daughter struggled with a tendon tear on her left ankle for over a year.  It was very painful and her foot would pop out of place when she tried to do anything on it.  I would get a call from the school and have to go down to put it back in place again and tape it up.  We thought for sure it was going to mean surgery.  The doctor we saw was excellent and, with time, had her up and walking again.  It wasn't how she wanted to spend the year, but her calm acceptance of the situation and the blessings she received by not having surgery have made it all worthwhile.  

We don't always know why things aren't going the way we planned, but we can rest in peace knowing that HE KNOWS. 

Becoming Like Him - Day 15 - Life

For my 31 days of writing, I am linking up over at Heading Home and over at the Nester. There are several of us that are taking the 31 day writing challenge. Kate has suggested that we spend 31 days of Five minute writing. You can use the prompts or write about anything you would like, you just need to write.

I am sharing my journey for 31 days as I strive to become more like Him. My prayer is that you can find hope and peace in my words.

Because, when you stop and look around, this life is pretty amazing!

START

Sometimes, I have a hard time remembering that life is for living.  It is for growing, climbing, becoming, experiencing and even for making mistakes. Heavenly Father never expected us to get everything right the first time, although we sometimes expect it of ourselves.  

One of the most important things I have learned about life is that it is the experience that counts the most.  It is trying over and over and getting up in between all the falling down.  It is becoming just a little better today than you were yesterday.  

As I seek to become more like Him, I find that I still make mistakes.  Just deciding to change, doesn't mean that I change all at once.  I still struggle to read my scriptures every day, I still sometimes forget to pray, I don't always like people who are mean to me or my children, and no matter how hard I try, I am not perfect.  

I am learning that life is pretty amazing in spite of myself.  I am learning that life is filled with ups and downs and back and forth's and a merry-go-round of emotion and trials and endings and beginnings.  It is sometimes easy to get stuck into the moments when we wish things would just change for the better.

I am also learning that getting stuck, is sometimes the thing I needed most of all. It reminds me to keep going.  It helps me to see the possibilities.  

When you think about it, that is one of the greatest things about life, the hope that our tomorrows will be even better than our today's.  The hope that change is good.  The hope that His tender mercies will be enough for even our worst sins. His hope for my life is simply that I will follow Him.  

STOP

Monday Memoirs - Peace and Serenity

It's Monday again and I hope that you take a moment to write on your own blog something concerning the prompt in your own life.  There really are no rules, just something that you want to pass on to your family and friends.  Link up at the bottom and share with the rest of us.  

Where do you find peace and serenity? 

PEACE noun

1. The absence of war or other hostilities.
2. An agreement or a treaty to end hostilities.
3. Freedom from quarrels and disagreement; harmonious relations: roommates living in peace with each other.
4. Public security and order: was arrested for disturbing the peace.
5. Inner contentment; serenity: peace of mind.

SERENITY
noun (plural serenities)

1. The state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled: an oasis of serenity amidst the bustling city

Once upon a time, I used to believe that peace was never possible. I had too many struggles in living to even think about finding peace. Church was a place that I went to, sat on a bench and tried my best to keep six little ones “sort of” reverent. I don’t know if I even got a single thing out of the Sacrament talks until after the majority of my children were grown. My ideas of peace have changed a lot over the years.

I used to imagine peace as lying next to the ocean or a lake or a river and just relaxing; spending time communicating with God, and learning to know myself. As I have gotten older, I have learned that peace and serenity both come from within and not so much without. Peace can be found in simple moments of life when there is no arguing or hostilities. In the case of our children, dinner time is not the time to argue. It is our efforts for peace in our world of chaos. Peace can be found in uplifting music, in reading good books, in studying the Scriptures and in spending time with my family. Peace doesn’t have to be quiet, (although that is such a nice minute or two to find), it just needs to fill my heart.
Serenity means something a little more difficult to me. It means to find myself filled, to know
that I am enough, to feel His spirit in my heart and in my soul, to really hear the answers to prayer and know that I am not alone. It truly does mean to find a place of calm within myself. A place where my troubles no longer are all I think of. For me, serenity is being free from worry and stress.
When I was young, I thought that you had to be old to experience either of those things, but as I have grown, I have learned to find them in the smallest moments and the wonder of the everyday blessings that are so much a part of my life. I have learned to see the tender mercies of the Savior in the world around me.
I find peace as I say my prayers, and mean them. I find peace as I help children with homework and kayak on a mountain lake. I find peace in the soaring of eagles and the beauty of a thunderstorm. I find peace when I see God’s hand in the world around me. I find peace when I quit looking for a quiet life and focus on amazing blessings. I find peace in the small, everyday matters of the heart.
I find serenity as I come to know my Heavenly Father. To realize that I am never truly alone and to find His promises are sure. I find serenity in the calm that comes after the storm. In the blessings that always follow a trial, and in the knowledge of His redeeming love.

The Long Way Around

WE CAN DO HARD THINGS!

I went hiking with all the girls in girls camp this year, It was one of the hardest things I have ever done.  As we did this hike, all around the fingers of the lake and back and forth looking for something, anything that resembled a trail, I couldn't help by compare it to my own life. It seems to me as if there have been plenty of times when I just had to take the long way around.  I knew the road to travel, but for whatever reason known only to my crazy brain, I just had to try it my own way.  

I know that I have learned from those experiences.  I know that I have even become better because of most of them.  But often, I have had to question why the learning seems to be so much harder for me that it ought to be.  What is it that tempts me along the paths of the hard road?

I have learned that we all go through those "long way around" times in our lives.  The closer that I am able to be to my Heavenly Father, the easier the road is to find.  Many tears later, I wonder why I would not listen in the first place.  

It would be easy to blame those times on my life, on the things that happened to me to put me in that place, but that is also not the whole truth of it.  At some point, in each of our lives, we get to choose.  We get to make choices in spite of (or maybe even because of) our pasts.  We get to get out our own compass and map and find the right trail.  

I have learned that my past does not have to define my future.  I can change.  I can choose.  I can become.  We all get to do hard things.  The question is, are you making excuses, or are you making a trail?  It really is completely up to you.  

An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. So when life is dragging you back with difficulties. It means that its going to launch you into something great. So just focus and keep aiming.

And remember, you really can do it! 

LIGHT AND DARK

Light and Dark

By Patricia A Pitterle

The sun is waking up.

We see small

Fingers of light

Reaching into the darkness,

Stretching ever upward

As the sun peeks quietly

Over the horizon.

Brightening the world

Around us with

One thin finger,

One spiraling strand,

One magnificent breath, 

Of color and light. 

Soon, the trees

Stand in shadows of twilight

As the sun chases 

The dark away.

The morning glow 

Clothed in beauty 

Becomes a promise 

That the darkness

Will not last forever,

And that the sun 

Cometh in the morning.

Life can be just like

The dawn reminds us of 

The darkest of nights,

As we struggle with trials 

And temptations.

We lose our hopes,

Not seeing past the dark

To the possibility of light;  

Not knowing that rescue is just 

Beyond the horizon.

We are in darkness

For our own moments

Before the dawn.

The Savior sends

Small miracles that become

Light in our lives.

We open our eyes to see,

Our minds to recognize,

And our hearts to bask 

In the light of His love.  

The darkness 

Will not last forever,

And we are promised that joy

Cometh in the morning.  

Who You Are

Your age doesn't 
define your maturity,

your grades don't 
define your intellect,

and rumors don't 
define who you really are.

I have heard that you are only as old as you feel.  I have met adults that act like my own children.  I have seen youth that have more maturity than most adults, and I have known adults that need a little maturity in their lives.  I think that some of us need maturity, but we also need to be like children every once in awhile.  

When I was in school, my grades meant everything to me.  They were the things that mattered most.  I felt important if I could get straight A's.  It has taken me years and years to learn that my grades don't define me.  I have to define myself.  Even in college, I had to get A's.  Even when I had papers to write and kids to take care of, I had to get A's.  I had to get through school to see how much those grades did not matter.  The only person they were important to, was me.  

You can get lost in the people around you.   In the way they think about you.  In the way they treat you, in the rumors they spread.  I live in a small town, I like to call it "Rumorgaard".  The rumors spread from one side of town to the next, faster than you can pick up a phone and talk to someone about it.  That has been the hardest challenge for me.  

People gossip and spread rumors everywhere, but in a small town, you get to live with those rumors.  They surround you no matter where you go.  People you don't even know, have no problem coming up to you and asking about it.  I have never been so overwhelmed about rumors.  

For me, this quote is timely and wonderful.  I need to remember that the rumors never have and never will define me.  I get to define myself.  And for me, that means everything.     

My Entire Life

 

My Entire Life

Can Be Described In One Sentence:

It didn't go as planned,

And that's Okay. 

I am pretty sure that most of us can identify with this one.  I remember when I was a teenager and we wrote what our husbands were going to be like when we were older.  Mine was going to have blond hair and blue eyes and be six foot tall and be an athlete.  I never really thought about the traits I wanted in a man.  I thought mostly about the physical.  Instead, I have learned that there are so many more important things than looks.  Kindness is at the top of my list.  A willingness to let me be myself.  A love of Heavenly Father.  A testimony.  Love for my children.  A good father and a good husband.  There are so many more important things than what people look like or pretend to be like.  

For my own self, I should have wanted to be independent, with self-reliance and a strong testimony.  I never knew that I would need tenacity and love for the people in my life that would hurt me so much.  I never knew how important forgiveness would be, not only for myself, but for others in my life.  I think when I was young, I thought forgiveness was more between my Heavenly Father and me, I never realized that it would need to be part of many areas of my life.  

I have learned that it is okay to dream, but it is also okay to adjust our dreams to something we never imagined.  Life has never been what I imagined in would be.  In someways, it has been so much worse, but in the ways that matter most, it has been better than I ever could have dreamed.

If I could go back and change anything, I would not.  Don't get me wrong, I have made lots of mistakes that I wish I hadn't, but I have learned so much.  And everything I have been through has brought me to this point.  A place where I am happy, where I am needed and where I am loved.  A wife with an amazing husband, a mother with eleven amazing children, a grandmother with loving and wonderful grand-children.  

I have had a lot to learn and absolutely nothing has gone as planned.

And that is totally Okay!

He Never Fails

If what's ahead scares you,

And what's behind hurts you,

Just look above;

He never fails to help you.  

It is so easy to be overwhelmed in this life.  We are surrounded with business.  We work, we volunteer, we keep trying.  Our kids are busy too.  They are in sports, music, activities and school.  There are so many good things, that it is easy to be worried about whether or not we are doing the best that we can.  The future is the great unknown.  It could be better or it could be so much worse.  There are wars and rumors of wars.  There are gangs and violence.  There are evil and wicked people in the world today, as well as the righteous.  It is easy to look ahead and be scared.

Sometime, the past can be even worse.  We know what is hiding in our memories.  We know the demons that await us in the night.  We all have a past.  We all have things that have hurt us.  Sometimes it is people, sometimes it is events, sometimes it is our own mistakes.  Whatever it might be, the past can have tremendous hold upon us until we learn to let it go.  Until we learn that it does not have any more power today than we give it.  

So, in spite of our past or our future, we have to remember to look up.  He really is willing to hear our hearts and our prayers.  He is willing to be the difference in our lives, if we will only let Him.  My each of us remember to look up!

This is one of my favorite stories from General Conference a few years ago.  

At the end of a particularly tiring day toward the end of my first week as a General Authority, my briefcase was overloaded and my mind was preoccupied with the question “How can I possibly do this?” I left the office of the Seventy and entered the elevator of the Church Administration Building. As the elevator descended, my head was down and I stared blankly at the floor.

The door opened and someone entered, but I didn’t look up. As the door closed, I heard someone ask, “What are you looking at down there?” I recognized that voice—it was President Thomas S. Monson.

I quickly looked up and responded, “Oh, nothing.” (I’m sure that clever response inspired confidence in my abilities!)

But he had seen my subdued countenance and my heavy briefcase. He smiled and lovingly suggested, while pointing heavenward, “It is better to look up!” As we traveled down one more level, he cheerfully explained that he was on his way to the temple. When he bid me farewell, his parting glance spoke again to my heart, “Now, remember, it is better to look up.” 
Carl B. Cook  General Conference October 2011

Pioneers of the Future

"Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, 

ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past 

or a pioneer of the future."

Habits can be some of the hardest things that we overcome.  They are our tight grip on things past.  Some habits are good.  We use them to become better each and every day, but other habits make us prisoners of our own pasts.  Whatever we do, it is always our choice.  Our choice to change or our choice to stay the same.  Remember, the pioneers chose change.  They left every thing they knew and braved the trials of the trail to start over and make a new life.  Some did not make it.  But their legacy lives on through their stories and their message.  It is a message of strength and hope and change.  We are all pioneers of today. The world is in turmoil and troubles.  There are disasters everywhere, often unexpected and severe.  Yet we go on.  We learn to lean on each other and to persevere.  We learn to trust God as well as His timing.  We learn that the past will fade away and the future will come.  We choose to be the pioneers of tomorrow.  

We Are Not Perfect

"None of us is perfect.  I know of no one who would profess to be so.  And yet, for some reason, despite our own imperfections, 

we have a tendency to point out those of others.  

We make judgements concerning their actions or inactions".  Thomas S. Monson

Why do people have to do that?  I have a board at work that I write a quote on every day of the week.  I have people who love to read the quotes and love to bring me some when they find a good one.  I have been doing it for seven years, but I always make it a point to spell things exactly how they are quoted.  Depending on who said it, that might mean that the word is spelled differently than it is today. 
There are days when I want to respell the words, misquoted or not!  Especially when I have people who are so happy to point out the fact that I can't spell. 
This is just a small example of judgement.  There are so many more.  I try my best not to be guilty of it, but I know I am not always right.  I have met so many people lately who are scarey looking when you first met them (tatoos, large piercings everywhere, dreadlocks,ect), but when you get to know them, they are really just like me.  They are kind and good and just trying to do the best they can with what they know. 
It can be so easy to judge people because of appearances or "habits" instead of because of who they really are. 
We have been through a lot, having a daughter with tourettes.  It can be hard when she does things that aren't "normal" to those who don't know her.  But, after arguing with the school and fighting for her rights, this year she has really started to blossom.  She made a 3.8 grade adverage for the first time in four years. She always made straight A's until the tourettes decided to manifest.  She is a very concientious girl.  She worked hard to be good at school.  Then tourettes messed with her focus and her concentration.  She went from all A's to D's. 
It has been a rough four years and the school was trying to tell us that it was her own fault.  They have even told me that it is my fault that she gets bad grades.  So, after fighting, they finally gave her a 504 plan and all of the sudden, she has A's again.  She feels like people finally believe her.  It is amazing how much changing happened when she stopped being judged and started being supported. 
I have learned a lesson from all of this.  Every single human being needs to be encouraged and supported, no matter what we might think their problem is.  Especially if there is a problem.  Especially if they are struggling.  Sometimes, we just need to know that we are cared for and loved.  We can change the world of someone just by letting them know that they are needed and wanted and loved.