Doing Love Wrong

I had to write about this today.  I can be very opinionated it what I believe is wrong or right.  At least, I can be opinionated within myself.  But perhaps my greatest strength is simply my ability to love everyone.  I believe this.  More importantly, I think my Heavenly Father believes this way.  We are not placed here to be judge and jury over our fellow sojourners.  Only He has the ability to be that.  Only he looks inside and knows everything about us.  Only he knows why we make the mistakes we make. 

Genesis 1:27 "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them."

I believe every single one of us are made in His image.  That that image shines through us and into the hearts of others when we find within ourselves that little piece of Christ Like love within.  Personally, whether you are right or wrong doesn't matter to me.  I have made plenty of mistakes all by myself that I need to repent of, without worrying about yours. 
In my life, love is a gift that I give to those around me.  Perhaps that is why I take betrayal so very hard.  You are worth loving, no matter what choices you have made.  Whether they are good or bad, whether you are rich or poor, no matter your color, gender, ethnicity or sexual orientation.  You are His and HE loves you always. 
I have learned that people don't always like differences.  I wonder if our differences scare us a little.  I am amazed by that.  I think this earth would be so very boring if we were all exactly the same.  I have experienced those in my own life who are prejudiced against me.  Mostly because I am female or a boss or because of my religious beliefs.  It can be so difficult to be judged for something that means the world to me. 
I have been persecuted and condemned and even told that I was going to go to hell because I did not believe the same way.  It makes me sad.  The God that I believe in is a loving Father, who has my back in all things.  He knows exactly who I am and loves me in spite of myself.  The God that I know is one who loves each of us, no matter what we affiliate with.  He knows us intimately in our grief, sorrows and pain.  He also knows our joys and blessings.  The God that I believe in wants us to have joy in this life.  He wants us to love one another.  To be kind to one another.  To help one another on our journey. 
He wants us to learn to love right.  Without condition.  Without needed to be the same.  Without needing to agree or be right or be wrong. 
The God that I believe in is a God of love and kindness, a God of repentance and forgiveness, a God of peace and joy. 
My hope for today is that we will each strive a little bit harder to love those that are hard for us to love.  Find a little bit of common ground in every sinner and in every saint. 
I believe if we love them, we will find no time at all to judge them, and a lot more time to love Him.   

Any Fool can do this

It can be so very hard to be forgiving.  It takes a lot of effort and work and trust to do it.  It takes a lot of prayer and desire to even try.  I have found that it is easier to carry a grudge.  But the problem is, as easy as it can be, it doesn't help me feel better.  I actually makes me feel angrier and it means that I dwell on my own thoughts and feelings a lot longer.  It become more difficult to put it aside and move one.  I have discovered that the times I don't forgive, are some of the worst times in my life.  Because I am not positive, a lot of things get me down and I struggle even more with what is going on in my world.  

I am sure that forgiveness doesn't make sense to some people.  I am equally sure that we justify it by thinking that some actions aren't worth forgiving, or should never be forgiven.  Let me just be clear, I believe that we all need forgiveness.  The Lord never quantifies sin.  He doesn't talk about how some sin is worse than others.  I am just grateful that I don't need to be judge and jury for anyone else's sins.  I have enough of my own to worry about.  I have had people do some horrible things to me and to those I love.  I have been accused of things I have never done.  I have been talked about, ridiculed and had more gossip involved around me than I ever cared to have.  However, I do not forgive people for them.  I do it for me.  Only God has the power to forgive any of us.  Only He can judge our hearts.  Only He knows whether or not there is change and true repentance.  

Since I don't know those things, I choose to forgive and not hate.  I choose to let go of my anger and hurt and humiliation.  I choose these things because I know that I need forgiveness in my own life.  I know that I am also guilty of sin.  I know that I need forgiveness and compassion just as much as anyone else.  

However, saying that, does not mean that you can always trust again.  There are some things that  are so hurtful that you have to walk away.  Forgiveness does not mean that you give anyone the chance to do abuse you again.  It means, that when you think of them, you are not destroying yourself with anger and hate.  It means that you trust God enough to know that He will somehow work it all out.  

I honestly do not know what I would do if I didn't have that kind of faith.  I believe we have a loving Father in Heaven who has walked with us every step of the journey.  He knows exactly what we have been through.  He knows our deepest, darkest secrets.  He knows our trials and our joys.  He knows our names.  

The Other Serenity Prayer

I like this one.  I do a lot of beating on myself nearly everyday.  I think I can mask, most of the time, what is going on inside, but I struggle every single day.  I try and be pretty open about depression and anxiety.  I have suffered from those for most of my life.  It started when I was very young and got so much worse over time.  It can be so hard to talk about in today's world, although I do think it is getting better (or maybe it doesn't bother me so much what others are thinking!) 

I love that there are so many resources available for help today.  Much more than I had in the beginning.  I love that, as hard as it can be, there are those who actually try and understand.  It wasn't long ago, that I was criticized for professing to be religious, but still suffering from depression.  Like somehow those two things can never go together.

I am not perfect.  I have come to the conclusion that I might never be.  I can't do it all by myself, and I was never meant to.  It takes a village to raise a child, and it takes the love of God to help each and every one of us.  I believe that He loves me, and in ways that I can't possibly understand, that will someday be enough.

I think that depression is the thorn in my side that I am trying daily to overcome.  I have been blessed to be surrounded with people who love me.  Who are there for me when I have bad days and good ones, because this disease is about both.  Every single day is not bad, neither is it good.  It just is a day, with weakness and strengths and the overcoming of hard times. 

I am working on doing better.  Some days, it is all I can do to get dressed.  Some days I stay in bed.  Most days I work and function like a normal person.  This is my normal.  Sometimes I escape to have a good cry, then I pick myself up and put one foot in front of the other and walk forward. 

I know that God loves each and every one of us, even me.  He knows how hard this journey is for us.  He knows our strengths and our weaknesses.  He knows when we are lonely.  He knows when we feel broken.

He is the great healer.  He will bind our wounds and hold us close as we make the journey home.  We are never alone.  He has walked the way before us.   He will walk it with us.  He loves us in all our pleading and breaking and tears.  His heart always, always reaches to embrace us. 

He knows your name.

He knows your journey.

He knows you.

One side of the story

So many people take sides.  We take sides based on who we like, or who we don't.  We take sides based on what we hear, or what we are told.  We take sides because we only know part of the story.  It is too easy to judge based on which side you hear.  It is too easy to be in the wrong, when we don't value someone enough to listen. 

I love the story of Solomon and the baby.  Two women went before his judgment seat.  They had both had a baby.  One of the babies had died and one lived.  Both women claimed the living baby was their own. 

After some deliberation, King Solomon called for a sword to be brought before him. He decided that there was only one fair solution: the living son must be split in two, each woman receiving half of the child. Upon hearing this terrible verdict, the boy's true mother cried out, "Oh Lord, give the baby to her, just don't kill him!" The woman who lied, in her bitter jealousy, exclaimed, "It shall be neither mine nor yours—divide it!"
The king declared the first mother as the true mother, as a true, loving mother would rather surrender her baby to another than hurt him, and gave her the baby. King Solomon's judgment became known throughout all of Israel and was considered an example of profound wisdom.
Both women wanted to be right, but one was willing to be wrong in order for the baby to live.  King Solomon was able to listen to both sides of the story and reach a fair and just decision.  What an example for the rest of us. 
No matter what we believe, or how much we hurt, or what has happened to us, there are always two sides to every single story.  Often, both sides have hurt and heartache.  When we jump to conclusions and judge, we risk never finding out the truth.  We risk supporting others in their lies and jealousy.  We risk condemning the wrong party. 
How grateful I am that the only person I have to worry about judging me is the Lord.  He alone knows my thoughts and my heart.  He knows my innocence and even my guilt.  He knows everything about me, including why I am the way that I am.  With Him on my side, I don't have to worry so much about the opinions of others.  With Him in my Heart, I know that the truth will someday come out and that, in ways I don't yet understand, All will be well. 
So, for now, my prayer is that we will all learn to listen to the story in it's entirety and not just one side of it. 

What I learned - Whoso receiveth them, receiveth me

“And [Jesus] commanded that their little children should be brought [to him]. …

“And … he took [them], one by one, and blessed them, and prayed unto the Father for them.

“And when he had done this he wept.”

I love the listen to Elder Neil L. Andersen.  He is a really good speaker and he always has something to say that hits home for me.  This talk for me, is about how much Heavenly Father loves children, all children.  It is about how much they need love and acceptance no matter what their family is like.  
This one hit home for me because I have had children who weren't accepted because they were different from the rest.  I have a daughter who really struggled as a teenager and the young women leaders came to me and told me that she was not welcome at young women's.  It was devastating to me because by taking away any chance of friendship with those who could be an example to her, these well meaning women drove her right out of my arms and into the friendships with those who would mistreat and abuse her.  
I have many more instances of those well meaning people who mistreat and misjudge children ewho are different.  I love that Elder Anderson talks about the children and youth who do not come from picture perfect families.  Who are raised in foster care, or by single parents.  He talks about how much need we have for sensitivity in our dealings with others, especially the youth.  
  

President Thomas S. Monson has said: “Help God’s children understand what is genuine and important in this life. Help them develop the strength to choose paths that will keep them safely on the way to eternal life.”  Let’s open our arms and our hearts a little wider. These youth need our time and our testimonies.

I love that Elder Andersen talked about how we need to reach out to the youth who feel alone, left out, left behind and outside the fence.  He does not say that we should ignore them or cast them out.  He talks about how much Jesus loved the children.  In every instance where he blessed children, I never recall that He said to only bring Him the perfect children.  He said to bring the little children to Him.  He blessed them all.  He loves them unconditionally, no matter what type of family they come from. 
May we all be just a little more like Him as we seek to include all the children and the youth around us.  May we not judge them just because they don't come from perfect families.  May we seek to help them and to welcome them with open arms and loving hearts.  May we always let them in.       

Saved From Lions

This is my new favorite quote.  I use it to remind myself that, no matter what I am going through or how bad life seems, the Lord still loves me.  We all have trials.  That doesn't mean that He isn't aware of us any more.  It doesn't mean that there is not something else in store. 

I have been to way too many Lion's dens in my life.  Times when I thought there was no way out.  Times when I was sure that I was unlovable and forgotten.  There was danger all around, but even though He didn't rescue me from the Lion's den, he did rescue me from the lions. 

I have learned that life is full of trials.  There are times when I really am not sure if I am going to make it from day to day.  I see "the lions" and  I don't realize yet that the Lord has "shut the lions mouths".  I can't see beyond the darkness of the den.  I know that danger is near.  I am afraid.  I am filled with sorrow.  I love the story of Daniel, but my favorite part is that the king went and fasted in his chamber.  He could not sleep because he was so worried about Daniel inside the Lions Den.  I love that an angel of the Lord came and closed the mouths of the lions so that they could not hurt Daniel.

In my life, I have found living angels as well as spiritual ones.  Those who are there for me in my moments of darkness.  Those who keep the lions from destroying me.  Those who reach out their hands and their hearts in my hour of need.  Those who fast and pray for my protection.  Those who truly teach me of His love and mercy.  Because, although He saves me from the Lions, he does not save me from having to enter the Lions den. 

He Can Make Us Whole

The reality of the Resurrection of the Savior overwhelms our heartbreak with hope, because with the assurance of that truth, comes the assurance that all the other promises of the gospel are just as real. 
We know that He has the power to cleanse our sins.  We know that He has borne our pain, our infirmities, our hurts and our anguish.  He knows about the injustices that we have suffered. 
In Alma we read:

11 And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.

12 And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.

We know that He has risen from the dead and that He has healing in His winds.  We know that He can make us whole no matter what is broken within us.  So today, in all our sorrow, I hope it helps to remember that He really does know.  ‬

Imagine what we could accomplish

I love this one.  Life is hard.  No matter what is going on for each one of us.  My trials are not your trials, they are mine.  To me, they are hard enough.  Imagine what we could do for each other if we quit comparing ourselves to anyone else and just accepted each other and loved each other.  As is, no holds barred, short-comings and all.  What an amazing thought. 
I look at the world today, and it scares me sometimes.  There are so many people who hate and want vengeance.  There are people who convince themselves that they have been wronged and slandered.  Maybe, they have, but wouldn't it be better if we could just get along?  Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could actually be the adults that we profess to be and stop being unkind, unthoughtful, uncaring and even just plain mean. 
What a difference we could make in the world around us, if we could just accept each other and love each other through the hard times.  Sometimes, wouldn't it be especially meaningful if we could treat those in our own families that way.  Have you ever noticed how much easier it is to get angry with someone you know, rather than someone you don't?  Yet the ones we know deserve our love and acceptance even more than strangers we might meet. 
As we have done foreign exchange students over the years, I have learned to love deeply those with differing beliefs.  I have learned to see their countries through their eyes.  I have shared their food, and their hopes and their dreams.  In teaching them, I too, have been taught.  I have been uplifted.  I have been loved.  I have been so blessed in the sharing of good with them. 
So today, let us try to be just a little more Christ-like in our day to day living.  Reach out a hand, give a smile, help your neighbor, be a friend.  We really can change our small corner of the world.  So, let's bring a little light to the darkness and fill the world with more love and peace.  I know we can do it.  I know I can change this little piece of heaven here on the earth.  I think it might even be worth the extra effort. 

We make a lot of Mistakes

I make a lot of mistakes.  I struggle with many things.  But, I have to admit, I would much rather be around others who make mistakes and admit them and talk about them, than to be around those who can do no wrong. 

I am so blessed to have a few good friends.  I am blessed to have those around who will grumble and complain about their own problems and then willingly listen to mine.  I am blessed to have wonderful women in my life who have shared their hearts with me and allowed me to share with them. 

When we share one another's burdens, we become closer to them, more accepting, and even a little safer in our own disclosures.  There is not much that I would be uncomfortable sharing because they accept me for exactly who I am right this minute, and encourage me to become better. 

I have found that the best friends are the ones who allow you to be comfortable in your own skin.  They allow you to cry, and mourn, and to just be yourself, in all your agony.  I have come to understand that the best friends don't just listen to you, they also share a part of themselves with you.  It helps me not to feel worse because I might have perceive them to be better than I am.  It helps me to understand that we are all human.  We all struggle.  We all cry.  Sometimes, we are overwhelmed.  But good friends help you find your center.  They help you get your focus.  They love you through your very worst times. 

My friends share their own mistakes.  I need that.  I learn from them how to handle the trials in my own life.  Sometimes, I am so sorry for them and I realize through them how blessed I am that I am not going through those same things too. 

Love is amazing.  We have the power to lift each other up to be the Daughters of God that we were meant to be.  None of us can walk this life alone.  Sharing the love with imperfect sisters is one of the most fulfilling parts of my life.  They help to make me feel whole.  They remind me everyday that I am loved, needed and never really alone. 

I can be strong, because they hold me up and give their strength to me.  They strengthen my knees when they are weak, and hold up my arms when they hang down.  They pray for me, fast for me, and love me. 

I am richer because they are in my life.  I am blessed.

Tourettes is not an adjective

I would be remiss if I did not write about this.  I have two children with Tourette's.  It has been a hard road for them.  We have experienced first hand many of the negatives that come with this disorder.  Sadly, I have found there are many people who are completely willing to misunderstand.  Who do not want to be kind.  Who do not want to give these beautiful kids a chance. 

I have met some amazing kids with this disorder.  All of them struggling, many of them who feel friendless and misunderstood.   I have discovered that none of us are "normal".  We all have problems.  We all struggle.  Some of the struggles are visible, like Tourette's and some of them are hidden, sometimes deep inside.  I have learned that there are many worse things to have than a neurological disorder. 

Mostly those things which cause others to ridicule, to discourage, to condemn what they don't or won't understand.   Being Christ-like extends to how you treat others who are different than you are.  It extends to all of Heavenly Father's children, no matter what their beliefs or their way of life.  No matter how much more different they are than you.  No matter whether we understand them or not. 

We are all different.  We all have our own trials and heartaches.  That does not make us any less loved.  It does not take away from who we really are or who we can become. 

I know that Heavenly Father loves each one of us and that there is nothing we could do to take away that love.  Like the Prodigal son, he wants us to return home to Him. 

The choice has always been yours.  He will run to meet you.  No matter what your heartaches.  He knows your pain.  He loves you in spite of yourself.  I hope we can find it within our own hearts to accept those who are also His children, in spite of their differences.

Becoming Like Him - Day 22 - Expect

For my 31 days of writing, I am linking up over at Heading Home and over at the Nester. There are several of us that are taking the 31 day writing challenge. Kate has suggested that we spend 31 days of Five minute writing. You can use the prompts or write about anything you would like, you just need to write.

I am sharing my journey for 31 days as I strive to become more like Him. My prayer is that you can find hope and peace in my words.

When you release expectations, 

you are free to enjoy things 

for what they are, 

instead of what you 

think they should be.  

Today the prompt is:

EXPECT

START

I am grateful to have this prompt today.  Too often in my own life, I expect things to be a certain way.  I expect my children to behave a certain way, or smile, or laugh or have fun.  I expect them to be reverent in church and to listen to their teachers.  I expect them to treat me like they love me.  In case you haven't guessed, I am a mother of three teenagers and absolutely nothing goes the way I expect it to.
I am learning, way too slowly, in my journey to allow them to be themselves.  In all their teenage glory and righteousness.  But I am finding, as I release the expectations that I am holding them to, these beautiful and wonderful spirits hidden beneath my own requirements.  The young ladies that they are becoming are so much more than I ever dreamed they could be.
I have also had very high expectations for myself in my life.  Usually so high, that I can't possibly succeed.  Making me a failure before I even begin.  I am also learning to be a little more kind and gentle with myself.
In the scriptures it tells us that we are required to forgive all men, I believe that includes ourselves.  Sometimes, what is easy to forgive in another is so much more difficult to forgive in myself.  I always think that I should have, could have and needed to know better.
I am so grateful for a loving Savior who knew that I would need His sacrifice.  Part of becoming more like Him is to recognize how very much I need Him in my life.  It is to know, intimately, His Mercy and Grace.  When I stop having unreal expectations for myself and everyone else, I become free to recognize the tender mercies that I am surrounded with in my life.
May you also learn to enjoy and absorb those things that are real, instead of expecting them to be something else entirely.

STOP

Becoming Like Him - Day 13 - Work

For my 31 days of writing, I am linking up over at Heading Home and over at the Nester. There are several of us that are taking the 31 day writing challenge. Kate has suggested that we spend 31 days of Five minute writing. You can use the prompts or write about anything you would like, you just need to write.

I am sharing my journey for 31 days as I strive to become more like Him. My prayer is that you can find hope and peace in my words.

You are what you do;

Not what you say you will do.

START

Our community has a yearly day of service.  All the churches work together, all the people sign up for jobs and we get things done.  I love this day.  It is a day when differences are put aside and people just learn that they are really the same at heart.  

Usually, I am part of the road crew.  Everyone gets a vest, and a garbage bag.  We have a mile area that our group is responsible for.  With so many people working together, the entire area all the way through town gets done.  

This year, I was asked to be in charge of making cards for the military.  My husband was asked to help with the food (how does he do that???).  I have a lot of crafts at home and I bought more for the event.  Everyone had a great time making cards and writing in them for those in our town that are serving, that have served, or family members that are currently serving.  

The young women liked it so much that they want to do it later in the year as a project.  I think that is a great idea.  

After our service projects, we all met at the park for a lunch of hot dogs, chips, drinks and brownies.  I am sure that is most of the communities favorite part.  Nothing costs anyone anything.  It is a day of service to make our town look better and to bring people together.  

They have already asked me to do the cards again next year.  

What a wonderful way to come together and to get to know those of other faiths.  It is an amazing way to strengthen our community and learn what it means to be a neighbor.

STOP

A Bruise

Failure is a Bruise

Not a tattoo.

I know some pretty wonderful people who have made a few mistakes.  As a matter of fact, I would venture to say that not a single one of us has the right to judge anyone else for their sins.  I believe that we don't have to love the sin, but we do need to love the sinner.  After all, we can't help them turn back to a loving Heavenly Father if we don't teach them that they are lovable and have worth in His eyes.  

I live in a small town.  It can be a hard place.  Every once in a while, something will happen and the entire town can't seem to gossip enough about it.  It breaks my heart to hear the judging and the condemning that goes on.  Especially when the mistake is one by a teen or a child.

It can be very hard to live down a sin.  In a larger town, you can escape the gossip sometimes.  In our small one, if follows you every where.  Do you remember the song "Mary had a little lamb"?  Sometimes I wonder if that lamb was her sin.  "It followed her to school one day.  It made the children laugh and play to see a lamb at school".  That is so much like sin.  Others laugh and make fun over a situation that they only think they know about.  They point fingers and ridicule and tease.  All in the name of fun, of course.

My point is simply that we never know when the words we speak will hurt another.  We can take a pretty good guess though that if we are busy pointing out their weaknesses, they are probably not done in a Christ like spirit.  Sin does not last forever.  It only lasts as long as we continue to give it power over us.

Let us all take a moment today to be just a little kinder to those that we might believe don't deserve our kindness.  Someone whom our hearts tells us Christ loves, but our minds keep telling us differently.  Maybe someone a little like me.  A sinner, but someone who is trying the best she knows how to be closer to Him.  

Be a Message

Too many times, we try and preach our beliefs, instead of just live them.  It doesn't matter what religion you are, it doesn't matter whether or not you have faith, it doesn't matter what you think I need to believe.  What does matter, is how are you living?  It is easy to preach at people, to tell them the things you think they should know.  But if you really look at the teaching of Jesus, he didn't preach much.  He lived by what He taught.  
One of my all time favorite parables is about the good samaritan.  It is found in Luke 10:25-37.

30 And Jesus answering said, A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, andwounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead.
31 And by chance there came down a certain priest that way: and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.
32 And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and passed by on the other side.
33 But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him,
34 And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him.
35 And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gavethem to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee.
36 Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves?
37 And he said, He that shewed mercy on him. Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise.

He taught us to be kind to the Samaritan, that the samaritan was our neighbor even though the common belief among the jews of that time was that the Samaritan was inferior to them.  Someone who was hated and despised.  Yet, the parable is that a man of Samaria was kind and helped when no one else would, not a Levite or a Priest, both of whom were esteemed men.  
I know that it is easy to judge.  It is easy to see others as the Jews saw the people of Samaria.  It is easy to see people with differences as not being good enough.  There are many around us who look or act differently than others and it becomes way too easy to think that they must not be as good as you.  But the problem with that is that we are all sons and daughters of a Heavenly Father who loves us.  
I have learned in my life, that when the hurting was more than I could bear, God always, ALWAYS, sent someone to me who would be a message for me.  Someone who would be willing to bear my burden.  Someone who would listen.  He sent them to be His mouth and His hands.  He sent them to show His love.  
All the sermons I have ever heard have never meant as much to me as the times that those children of God have spent just being there for me in my pain.  Sometimes, most of the time, we have to do more than preach at people.  We need to really learn to love them.  Only when they cease to be Samaritans in our minds, will we find those things the Savior taught.  Only then, will we learn what love really means.  That it transcends all things.  That it is not about who someone is right this moment, but about who they can become that matters.  
The message has always been about His love.  

Good-byes are hard to do

We had to say good-bye to Kitty this week and it was a hard thing.  She got sick and died before I could get her to the vet.  I did not even realize that she was ill.  My girls really miss her already and want another cat, but we just can't.  Too many of the older kids are allergic no matter what we try and a couple of the Grandkids have asthma, so kitties are out of the picture for now.  Still, it is never easy to lose a friend and this one slept with the girls, purred at them, and really loved them.  Their hearts are sad and it is hard to understand how this takes time too.  This week has been full of tears and missing and good-byes.  It is a time to remember that friends are those who love of unconditionally, just as we are, messy rooms and all.

“Such short little lives our pets have to spend with us, and they spend most of it waiting for us to come home each day.
It is amazing how much love and laughter they bring into our lives and even how much closer we become with each other because of them.”
― John Grogan, Marley and Me: Life and Love With the World's Worst Dog

Good-bye Kitty, we will never forget how much we loved you and needed you in our lives.  

The Wounds We Give

No one Heals themselves
by wounding another.

We all cry.  Life can be scary or painful or just plain miserable, but at one point or another, we all get hurt.  It is easy to want to lash out at someone else, to want to hurt them like you have been hurt.  I have found in my life, that the more I try and hurt someone else, the more miserable I am.  The friends that become enemies, the tears in the night, the ache in my heart, have all taught me that I will never heal myself by hurting anyone else.  
I love the story of the Prodigal Son.  I love the fact that the father had TWO sons.   Both needed forgiveness and blessings.  One experienced poverty, deprivation and despair.  The other experienced jealousy and envy.  Both received the blessings and love that we needed.  
This life is not about a competition.  If I make it to heaven, it doesn't mean that you won't.  If you make it, it doesn't mean that I can't.  Our Heavenly Father loves us all.  He wants us to return to him.  He cares for us individually.  He knows our hearts, and our pain.  He has "engraven you upon the palms of His hands".  

 "Brothers and sisters, I testify that no one of us is less treasured or cherished of God than another. I testify that He loves each of us—insecurities, anxieties, self-image, and all. He doesn’t measure our talents or our looks; He doesn’t measure our professions or our possessions. He cheers on every runner, calling out that the race is against sin, not against each other. I know that if we will be faithful, there is a perfectly tailored robe of righteousness ready and waiting for everyone, “robes … made … white in the blood of the Lamb.” Jeffery R. Holland

Sabbath Day Scribblings - The Sins of Others

Counting other people's sins,
does not make you a saint.

In a BYU devotional address, Professor Catherine Corman Parry gave a memorable scriptural illustration of the consequences of judging by the wrong standards. The scripture is familiar. Martha received Jesus into her house and worked to provide for Him while her sister Mary sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His words.

“But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me.

“And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:

“But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her” (Luke 10:40–42).

Professor Parry said: “The Lord acknowledges Martha’s care: ‘Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things’ (Luke 10:41). Then he delivers the gentle but clear rebuke. But the rebuke would not have come had Martha not prompted it. The Lord did not go into the kitchen and tell Martha to stop cooking and come listen. Apparently he was content to let her serve him however she cared to, until she judged another person’s service: ‘Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me’ (Luke 10:40). Martha’s self-importance, expressed through her judgment of her sister, occasioned the Lord’s rebuke, not her busyness with the meal” (“‘Simon, I Have Somewhat to Say unto Thee’: Judgment and Condemnation in the Parables of Jesus,” in Brigham Young University 1990–91 Devotional and Fireside Speeches [1991], 116).

Killing A Dream

It only takes one negative thought 

to kill a dream;

Remember that next time.

We have all had unfulfilled dreams in our lives.  We have all had wounds that refused to heal.  A few years ago, my daughter was in a dance class.  She was not built for dancing, but she loved it.  She really wanted to do it.  Dancing was a sport that she liked to participate in.  She was so excited to go every single week.  Then one week, the girls were in a particularly negative mood and told her that she was too fat to dance.  

That was the end of her dream.  Nothing I said could change her mind.  As far as she was concerned, if her "friends" told her that she was too fat to dance, than she was just too fat.  She refused to sign up for dance ever again.  She refused to go.  She refused to even try.

It has been a long road for us with her damaged self esteem.  She has tried other sports now, mind you, she doesn't like those ones either, but she tries.  She has lost a lot of weight and can pretty much do anything she wants to these days, but in her eyes, she still sees the child that is "too fat to dance".

I think that we can so easily be guilty of killing someones dreams.  Whether it is in a name we call them, or just our unbelief, we can take away their enthusiasm for that dream.  We can change them inside into someone else that we never wanted them to be.  

We can take someone who has just not grown into her body yet and make her someone who will not dance.  Someone who stands on the scale several times a day.  Someone who worries constantly about what she eats and how much she eats and how healthy it is.  

We can take away a smile and a dream.  Such a lot of power to wound is in our hands.  Please, please, please, don't let it be in our hearts.  

Sisters in Zion

"...we simply cannot call ourselves Christian and continue to judge one another—or ourselves—so harshly. No mason jar of bing cherries is worth a confrontation that robs us of our compassion
and our sisterhood."

Patricia Holland, One Thing Needful.  

Oh how I loved listening to that quote again tonight during the Women's Conference.  It was amazing.  It reminds me how important we each are as children of a Loving Heavenly Father.  He loves each and every one of us.  Not matter what we do for a living, or how good we are at it.  No matter if we like to sew or bake or clean.  No matter if we are perfect or just in training.  He still loves us.  We can be so hard on ourselves.  We can be so judgmental, not just with others, but also with ourselves.  Sometimes, I think the greatest gift we can give anyone, is just a little more kindness.  I believe that is exactly what Jesus taught.  He wants us to love one another, strengthen one another, lean on one another, and help one another through the marvelous and often difficult journey.  That is what being a Sister of God is all about. 

Hitting and Biting

"You knew it was a good day
if you didn't hit or bite anyone".
Nathaniel Age 4

I love this for some reason.  And that face!  It just reminds me of being a child. Maybe it is because, as an adult, I have to stay more in control.  I can't behave badly and get away with it any more.  Not that I really did as a child, but at least it was a little more acceptable.  

I remember the day in sixth grade, one of the boys would not leave me alone.  I had the misfortune of being the girl that everyone picked on.  They tried to get under my skin by calling me names, taking my stuff and even beating me up.  I did not make friends easily, and got my feelings hurt way too often.  

On this occasion, the boy would not quit calling me names.  The rest of the class was laughing at me and I was humiliated and embarrassed.   I lost my temper and picked up my dictionary and hit him right over the head.  The entire class was silent in shock.  I had never fought back before.  He was fine, other than a slight headache.  I got detention (not for the first time I might add).  I had a knack for being the kid that always got caught.  

Anyway, that day was not a good day.  However, good things came of it.  I ended up making a friend with one of the girls that actually stuck up for me after that.  Her name was Fern and she taught me how to fight.  Instead of being the one beaten up, I learned to defend myself from the others.  I never did get good at hitting first, but I got very good at defending myself so that I didn't get hurt.  

It is amazing to me how much our perspective changes with time.  When we are young, controlling ourselves has more to do with how we behave physically.  It is learning to control our impulsive actions.  As we get older, we have to learn to control our physical reactions as well as our words, our thoughts, and even our desire to get even.  We have to learn to choose our actions and not choose to react to what is done to us.  We hopefully become adults.  

As we grow, our ideas of what is acceptable change.  I know that I would never want to hurt anyone by hitting or biting.  Nor would I want to intentionally hurt them with words or actions.  I think as we grow, we start to learn that anything not done with compassion and caring becomes unacceptable.  Kindness really does begin with me.