Hitting and Biting

"You knew it was a good day
if you didn't hit or bite anyone".
Nathaniel Age 4

I love this for some reason.  And that face!  It just reminds me of being a child. Maybe it is because, as an adult, I have to stay more in control.  I can't behave badly and get away with it any more.  Not that I really did as a child, but at least it was a little more acceptable.  

I remember the day in sixth grade, one of the boys would not leave me alone.  I had the misfortune of being the girl that everyone picked on.  They tried to get under my skin by calling me names, taking my stuff and even beating me up.  I did not make friends easily, and got my feelings hurt way too often.  

On this occasion, the boy would not quit calling me names.  The rest of the class was laughing at me and I was humiliated and embarrassed.   I lost my temper and picked up my dictionary and hit him right over the head.  The entire class was silent in shock.  I had never fought back before.  He was fine, other than a slight headache.  I got detention (not for the first time I might add).  I had a knack for being the kid that always got caught.  

Anyway, that day was not a good day.  However, good things came of it.  I ended up making a friend with one of the girls that actually stuck up for me after that.  Her name was Fern and she taught me how to fight.  Instead of being the one beaten up, I learned to defend myself from the others.  I never did get good at hitting first, but I got very good at defending myself so that I didn't get hurt.  

It is amazing to me how much our perspective changes with time.  When we are young, controlling ourselves has more to do with how we behave physically.  It is learning to control our impulsive actions.  As we get older, we have to learn to control our physical reactions as well as our words, our thoughts, and even our desire to get even.  We have to learn to choose our actions and not choose to react to what is done to us.  We hopefully become adults.  

As we grow, our ideas of what is acceptable change.  I know that I would never want to hurt anyone by hitting or biting.  Nor would I want to intentionally hurt them with words or actions.  I think as we grow, we start to learn that anything not done with compassion and caring becomes unacceptable.  Kindness really does begin with me.