The Crowds In My Mind
by Patricia A. Pitterle
Time does not stand still.
My thoughts crowd with images
Of things past and
Things to come.
My imagination takes flight
In worry and frustration.
I am exhausted
And overwhelmed
With yesterday’s to-do list
And today’s need-to get done list.
Everything demands my time
And attention.
Mind racing from one thing
To the next
And round and round again.
Never quite arriving
at the destination
That I planned on.
Dirty dishes,
Unswept floors,
Laundry in piles
Clear ‘till next week
I fight the crowds of "should have's"
inside my brain.
The ones that tell me
I will never be
more than this.
I will never be good enough.
I will never become
Who I should be.
A waking child,
Her eyes heavy with slumber,
stumbles into the room
and pulls herself
into my lap.
“Grammy, I need to hold you”
I don't need to fight
the noise anymore.
The crowds will wait
until another time.
I sweep her tightly
into my arms.
For a moment,
I am exactly
what I am made to be.
I am a heart to love,
arms to hold
and songs straight from heaven.
To her, I am enough.
She is loved, she is safe,
And we go over the edge,
Blissfully wrapped up together,
Into the oblivion
Of sleep.
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