Afraid

I literally,

Have to remind myself

All the time

That being afraid

Of things going wrong,

Isn't the way

To make things

Go right.  

One of my favorite quotes ever.   I am a well known worrier.   I worry about everything.  I worry about my children getting hurt physically, as well as emotionally.  I worry about mean-ness and lying and unkindness.  I worry about what people think of me.  I worry constantly about how good or bad of a mother I have been.  I worry about making such bad mistakes that my children will never recover from them.  I worry about things that have happened as well as about things that might happen.  I am afraid all the time.  

In the past couple of years, I have struggled with an overwhelming sense of anxiety.  I am literally scared of pretty much everything.  It has been so bad, that I finally went on medication to help me with the symptoms.  I am slowly getting better.  I am still scared, but it is more under control than it used to be.  I am learning that just being scared doesn't change anything.  The only way things change is action.  We have to choose the right, not just wait and worry.  

The picture above is one of my daughters.  She has always been terrified to try sports.  I have girls that sing and play instruments.  They are not physical.  Nevertheless, in our small town, nearly every kid plays at least a few sports.  She decided on her own, that she would learn to play. She started last year and totally believed that she was awful.  Last to play nearly everything she tried.  But she kept going and she kept learning and she is starting to get it right.  She is leaping and jumping and feeling good about herself for the first time in years.  I love this picture because it represents how far she has come.  It represents real effort and growth on her part.  Being afraid, never would have helped her to play a better game of Volleyball.  What helped her was her own willingness to get out on the court and learn.  

So go ahead and jump child.  You can do it, in spite of all your fears.  You are more than you ever thought you could be.  Just jump, and keep trying.