When faced with life's challenges,
it is Important to Remember
that although Daniel was saved from the lions,
he was not saved from the Lion's Den.

Friday, February 3, 2017

It Starts With You

Image result for happiness quotes
This one is hard for me to remember.  Sometimes, I feel like it is Someone Else's responsibility to make sure I am happy.  My head knows that is wrong, but my heart wants it to be true. 
I found a great quote yesterday that says:  "Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they never stopped to enjoy it!" 
That is very much me.  I don't stop and smell the roses as my husband would tell me.  I just kind of go along trying and failing to get everything done and make everyone else happy.  It hurts me when I can't make it happen!  I get so busy with everyone else, that I forget to take the time that I need for me.  
Fighting depression and anxiety is a constant struggle.  I want so much to BE happy, but I go about it in all the wrong ways.  I spend way too much time working and surviving and not nearly enough time sitting back and enjoying.  I focus on the getting there, instead of on the journey itself.
I think maybe, my priorities for happiness are just a little bit (OK, maybe a lot), mixed up.  I forget how things don't make us happy.  It really is about what I am feeling inside, and when I am too tired to even enjoy the fruits of my labors, how can I ever think to find happiness.  
So, here I am, taking a deep breath and moving on.  
Happiness seems so elusive when we are getting down and dirty with life.  Just when it seems that I will move forward, I sink into a hidden puddle and end up sliding back.  Life is unpredictable.  It is hard.  It is lonely, it is rough and rowdy and really, really messy.   But I also know that it is possible find those little, sparkling gems of happiness in the middle of the mud. 
I have to find them inside myself first.     It sounds so simple, but is in reality pretty hard.  I have to look past the darkness and find those bits and pieces that can bring me joy.  I have to live in the present moment, instead of the future and the past.  I have to let go and trust that everything is in His hands and that He has my back. 
I have to believe that I am lovable and worth loving.  I have to believe that I am worth some tiny spark of happiness.  I have to believe that there is good within myself. 
I have to take time and make time to be happy.      

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Wordless Wednesday - Wrestling with Alligators

A single photo 

– no words –
capturing a moment from our lives.
A simple, special, extraordinary moment.

A moment
I want to pause, savor and remember.

A moment
that brings a smile to my lips, 
and joy to my heart.

Thursday, January 12, 2017

Letting Go

Image result for happiness quotes
I forget to find joy in the moment.  I have an entire laundry list of Should have's and could have's, but I really need to figure out how to burn that list and come up with all the things are really ARE. 
When I was young, I really wanted to be a doctor, but life stepped in and I became a mother instead.  I am not sorry for a single moment of not doctoring that happened.  I am sorry that that dream took me so very long to let go of.  I started going to school to be a nurse, but found myself in the position of being a single mother instead.  So, I went to work.  I have waited tables, been a nursing assistant, delivered papers, taken pictures, been an EMT and even been a telephone solicitor.  I have done anything and everything that I could to support my family and raise my children. 
But I have never let go of the should have's and could have's.  Perhaps it is time now. 
I love my EMT job.  It doesn't really pay, but it is truly a job of love.  I love being able to help people who are hurting and see direct results because I get them to the care they need.  I love my family.  I have been able to raise and love my children.  They have become adults that I can be proud of.  They are truly better than I have ever been, and that is all I could ever ask for.  I think that my life looks exactly how it is supposed to.  It might not be the way that I imagined it, but it is a life that I can celebrate.   
2 Nephi 2:25    Adam fell that men might be;
and men are, that they might have joy.

Heavenly Father did not send us here to be miserable.  He wants us to be happy.  He wants us to have joy.  He wants us to celebrate the good things in our lives.  He wants us to celebrate our blessings.  I love that He is mindful of our happiness.  I love that He wants us to be positive about our lives.  So today, I am going to trust that He knows exactly who I needed to be and that all these experiences shall be for my good. 
Today, I am letting go of the past and moving forward toward a new future. 
Today, I am going to find my joy. 

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Wordless Wednesday - Makes me smile!

A single photo 
– no words –
capturing a moment from our lives.
A simple, special, extraordinary moment.

A moment
I want to pause, savor and remember.

A moment
that brings a smile to my lips, 
and joy to my heart.

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

To Try Them

I need more patience!  I don't want to have more, but I really do need it.  I am doing better that last year, but still find myself impatient and grumpy way too often.  That is one attribute that is really hard for me to develop.  I am not sure why I am so impatient with things and people.  I find myself knowing what I mean to say, but having others misunderstand it.  Then everyone gets a little bit snappy. 
That is not what I want at all.  I find myself constantly having to explain what I mean so that people don't take it badly.  I am going to try and experiment.  I read somewhere, (I really wish I could remember where!) in the past couple of days about trying to turn your words around and making what you say come out as gratitude to the person listening. 
For instance, when someone complains, tell them thank you for bringing that to my attention, I am so sorry that you feel that way.  It is supposed to defuse situations and reduce misunderstandings.  Hopefully, if I can be successful at it, I will also be developing more patience to go along with the gratitude. 

Revelation 3:10 Because thou hast kept the word of my patience, I also will keep thee from the hour of temptation, which shall come upon all the world, to try them that dwell upon the earth.

I found this scripture and it actually made me smile.  Who doesn't need help with temptations?  I know, right?  We all do, so if we keep the word of the Lord's patience, than He will keep us from temptation.  That is a promise that I really need in my own life.  I know that I certainly don't need more temptations! 
Every gift that He gives me helps me to learn and grow and to develop
even more patience with myself. 
Patience with my own faults and failings.
Patience in His word. 
Patience in His timing. 
Patience in suffering. 
Patience in His Grace. 

Monday, January 9, 2017

Be Ye Doers

It is so easy to get caught up in everything that is going on.  It is easy to put our Christianity, our religion, or even our good works aside.  In today's world, it is way too easy to become self-centered and selfish.  It is also too easy to get caught up in the negatives and forget how many blessings we are given.
I had a hard experience this week.  I was told that everybody in town hates me.  That I am way too mean.  That I make everyone angry.  That they were warned about me when they came here.  It was quite hurtful actually and made me want to lash out and retaliate. 
It can be hard living in a small town.  Sometimes it feels like I am in a bubble and everyone knows my business.  It can also be rewarding.  Several times a year, the community gets together for service.  I love how I feel when my brothers and sisters from every religion meet together and participate in something that has meaning and inspiration for my soul. 
Sometimes I have to balance the bad of a moment with the good that I know is really here.  It can be easy to get caught up in the negative and forget the positive. 
If I am honest with myself, I am probably not always as nice as I should be.  I still react to things instead of thinking them through.  I still make mistakes.  I still get angry.  I still get hurt.  I still want people to see things from my perspective.
We all make mistakes.  We all sin.  We all forget.  That is why it does my heart so much good to remember that I am loved by Him.  I am blessed by Him.  Even when I don't feel like it, He is there and loves me through it all. 
Today, I turned to a scripture in James and it reminded me that each one of us needs reminding once in a while.
James 1:22  But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.

Sometimes, I think I try too hard to deceive myself. I hear the words that are spoken, but my own habits and responses let me down. I forget to be a doer.  It makes me wonder what I could or should do differently.  What would make me calm instead of angry?  What would make me happy instead of stressed?  What would make me a doer instead of a hearer only? 

I am thankful that He doesn't lose hope in me.  I struggle and I reach and hopefully, eventually, I will achieve what I am looking for.  I hate to even think of praying for patience and understanding, I never have liked the results of that!  But at this time in my life, I think maybe it is time to let go and trust Him.  To have Him help me become a doer of the word so that when others see me, they also feel Him near.  I really want others to feel the love in my heart that I have for them.  I want them to know that they are cared about.  That they are loved and needed.  That they always have been, and always will be His. 
I want to be a doer of His word. 

Sunday, January 8, 2017

Sabbath Day Scribblings - His Timing

“God’s promises are not always fulfilled as quickly as or in the way we might hope; they come according to His timing and in His ways. … The promises of the Lord, if perhaps not always swift, are always certain.”
President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Second Counselor in the First Presidency, “Continue in Patience,” Ensign, May 2010, 58.