When faced with life's challenges,
it is Important to Remember
that although Daniel was saved from the lions,
he was not saved from the Lion's Den.

Saturday, September 24, 2016

He Knows All

I am learning that He knows everything about me.  It is not Him that doesn't accept me, it is that I don't accept myself.  No matter how much I forgive others, I have a really difficult time forgiving myself.  Sometimes I feel like it is all my fault. 
Today, I really needed someone.  I haven't been feeling good, I was very emotional, my heart was aching.  I miss seeing people that I love and taking blame for something that I didn't even do.  Heavenly Father knew how much I needed to know that He remembered me. 
I made a blanket for one of my grandsons and he received it in the mail today.  His mom video taped him opening the box and being so excited about getting a blanket from Grammy.  That short and sweet video was just what I needed to remind me that I am loved.  That I am enough just as I am.  I can't control anything that people want to believe, I can only go forward and do the best I can do. 
He made the stars and the moon above, but He also made my heart.  He filled it with love and with caring.  I think the reason that it hurts so much is because I really do care.  I really do want to make a difference.  I really do want those who I don't get to see to know how much I love them.  I want them to know that they mean the world to me. 
Heavenly Father knows my name, and He also knows theirs.  He know what we each need.  Somehow, what I am missing now is just a short moment in the eternity of things.  It doesn't always seem that way, but I know it is true.  Time can seem like it lasts forever, but it is really very fleeting and somehow things will all be made right in the end. 
He knows my heart and my story and my name. 
That is enough. 

Thursday, September 22, 2016

You are more

You are more than the mistakes you've made! // Al Carraway LDS Quote:

I love Al Carraway.  She is an amazing woman.  She lived a different lifestyle and totally turned her life around, embraced the gospel and changed everything she knew to become the person that she wanted to be.  I am so impressed with her dedication and her faith.  She reminds me what Amazing Grace really is. 
I have made so many mistakes in my life.  Some still haunt my nightmares, some still come back and remind me that I will never be perfect. Sometimes, in my deepest, darkest nights of despair, I wonder if the Lord's grace really applies to me.  How sad is that.  This amazing Father in Heaven that we have, and I doubt that His grace is sufficient for my sins.  Guilt is my constant companion.  It is not even that I have been terrible in my life.  Mostly, the things have been done to me, yet somehow, I think I should have known better.  I should have been able to stop it.  The five-year-old, should have been an adult.  She should have protected me.  How absolutely ridiculous is that! When I talk these things through, I recognize how silly they sound, but inside my head, it is not nearly so silly. 
I forgive others so easily usually.  Sometimes, I need a little time to stew about it, but eventually, I can see both sides and it is not difficult to forgive.  I do not give myself the same courtesy.  I am not even sure why.  As I go to counseling each week, he points out the unfairness of my thinking.  He helps me to see the bigger picture.  The one that is God-focused and not me-focused.  It is a struggle that I am slowly overcoming. 
I wonder if Heavenly Father thinks I am selfish.  Here He gave His only begotten Son to suffer and die for our sins, and it is like I am saying it is not enough.  I have to learn to forgive myself.  I have to find the power to see the best in me.  No one ever needs to point out my own faults to me, I see them all in living color.  I know how difficult I have been.  I know that I caused my Savior pain as He suffered for me.  I know every single mistake I have made.
But I also know that the sum of me is far more than those mistakes.  I know that with the grace and love of my Savior Jesus Christ, I am whole.

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Wordless Wednesday - Baby Love

A single photo 

– no words –

capturing a moment from our lives.
A simple, special, extraordinary moment.

A moment
I want to pause, savor and remember.

A moment
that brings a smile to my lips, 
and joy to my heart.

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Let it Go

Trying to let go, can be one of the more difficult things to do in life.  I wonder sometimes, if I hang onto things simply because they are what I know.  Do I hang on to the past because I am afraid to move forward?  Or do I hold on just because it is familiar to me?  Is it easier to dwell on the past than to look toward the future?  Is it easier to be angry and hate than to just let it go?

My burdens can seem so heavy to bear.  It is hard to hold them all in, and it is harder still to let them go, but I know it is necessary, for my own well being, for my own happiness, for my own piece of mind.

I have found, that the older I get, the more the past intrudes on my present possibilities for happiness.  Yet, somehow, as easy as it has been in my life to forgive, I am struggling to continue to do so.  I know that forgiveness is the only way for me to be truly happy, but when bad things happen to me, I find it much easier to forgive, than when they happen in the lives of my children and grandchildren.

Burdens can be so heavy.  I feel exhausted so much of the time.  I know that I need to let them go.  I need them to dissolve or fly away somewhere else, anywhere else besides my own head and heart.  And so I struggle just to let them go.  To not hold them tight to my heart.  To not be angry or hurt.  I struggle to give them away.  To forgive. 

I let them go so that I can be free. 

Monday, September 19, 2016

A Merry Heart

I love this one.  I need to remember it.  Breathe it in and make it a part of me.  I want to have a Merry Heart.  One that puts others before myself.  One that helps others to feel comfortable and welcome.  Someone who people want to be around, and not someone who people want to avoid.
The Prophet Joseph Smith taught that “happiness is the object and design of our existence” (Teachings, 255).
That’s why our Heavenly Father’s plan is so often called the great plan of happiness. I don't believe that we are supposed to be serious all the time, or even most of the time.  I can be a very serious person, but when I let go and laugh at myself, it feels so good!  Happiness is part of our nature, as it is part of God’s nature. As Alma taught his son Corianton:
And now, my son, all men that are in a state of nature, or I would say, in a carnal state . . . are without God in the world, and they have gone contrary to the nature of God; therefore, they are in a state contrary to the nature of happiness. (Alma 41:11).
We are born with a naturally sunny, optimistic, cheerful disposition. Think of how a baby smiles and laughs and coos.  Feeling joy and happiness doesn’t mean we’re always laughing our heads off, it doesn't mean that we take everything lightly, although, laughter is very therapeutic! President James E. Faust has said: “Don’t forget to laugh at the silly things that happen. Humor . . . is a powerful force for good when used with discretion. Its physical expression, laughter, is highly therapeutic”   He’s right! When we laugh hard, our heart rate speeds up, the circulatory and immune systems are stimulated, and more endorphins are produced.  We feel better, we feel happy.  I have spent so many years not knowing how to laugh.  I am enjoying this time of my life when I am learning to appreciate the light heartedness that can come with being Merry. 
May we each find within us our own merry heart!

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Sabbath Day Scribblings - Every Man is given a gift

D&C 46:11- 26 
11  For all have not every gift given unto them; for there are many gifts, and to every man is  given a gift by the Spirit of God.
 12 To some is given one, and to some is given another, that all may be profited thereby.
 13 To some it is given by the Holy Ghost to know that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, and that he was crucified for the sins of the world.
 14 To others it is given to believe on their words, that they also might have eternal life if they continue faithful.
 15 And again, to some it is given by the Holy Ghost to know the differences of administration, as it will be pleasing unto the same Lord, according as the Lord will, suiting his mercies according to the conditions of the children of men.
 16 And again, it is given by the Holy Ghost to some to know the diversities of operations, whether they be of God, that the manifestations of the Spirit may be given to every man to profit withal.
 17 And again, verily I say unto you, to some is given, by the Spirit of God, the word of wisdom.
 18 To another is given the word of knowledge, that all may be taught to be wise and to have knowledge.
 19 And again, to some it is given to have faith to be healed;
 20 And to others it is given to have faith to heal.
 21 And again, to some is given the working of miracles;
 22 And to others it is given to prophesy;
 23 And to others the discerning of spirits.
 24 And again, it is given to some to speak with tongues;
 25 And to another is given the interpretation of tongues.
 26 And all these gifts come from God, for the benefit of the children of God.

Saturday, September 17, 2016

Women of Faith

This one is so true.  Women, throughout the modern world have fought to become more like men, and they have succeeded only too well.  As the years go by, it gets harder and harder to find the differences between us.  I think that is sad.  I believe that being a woman is a gift.  It is an amazing journey.  In all our struggles to be "equal" we have lost our ability and willingness to be different.  We have lost our uniqueness.  In our willingness to gain what we think we need, but have lost so much of what we were.  I will never understand how willingly we have changed from women of God to women of the world.  I wish that every single Daughter of God, could understand how unique she is, how valuable she is, how loved she is.  I will never understand why, as women, we are so willing to judge one another harshly, to put each other down, to criticize and condemn.  We have to stop trying to be worse than we are.  We have to love each other, lift each other up and share each others burdens.  Women of God can never, ever, be like women of the world.  We are so much more.