I like this one. I do a lot of beating on myself nearly everyday. I think I can mask, most of the time, what is going on inside, but I struggle every single day. I try and be pretty open about depression and anxiety. I have suffered from those for most of my life. It started when I was very young and got so much worse over time. It can be so hard to talk about in today's world, although I do think it is getting better (or maybe it doesn't bother me so much what others are thinking!)
I love that there are so many resources available for help today. Much more than I had in the beginning. I love that, as hard as it can be, there are those who actually try and understand. It wasn't long ago, that I was criticized for professing to be religious, but still suffering from depression. Like somehow those two things can never go together.
I am not perfect. I have come to the conclusion that I might never be. I can't do it all by myself, and I was never meant to. It takes a village to raise a child, and it takes the love of God to help each and every one of us. I believe that He loves me, and in ways that I can't possibly understand, that will someday be enough.
I think that depression is the thorn in my side that I am trying daily to overcome. I have been blessed to be surrounded with people who love me. Who are there for me when I have bad days and good ones, because this disease is about both. Every single day is not bad, neither is it good. It just is a day, with weakness and strengths and the overcoming of hard times.
I am working on doing better. Some days, it is all I can do to get dressed. Some days I stay in bed. Most days I work and function like a normal person. This is my normal. Sometimes I escape to have a good cry, then I pick myself up and put one foot in front of the other and walk forward.
I know that God loves each and every one of us, even me. He knows how hard this journey is for us. He knows our strengths and our weaknesses. He knows when we are lonely. He knows when we feel broken.
He is the great healer. He will bind our wounds and hold us close as we make the journey home. We are never alone. He has walked the way before us. He will walk it with us. He loves us in all our pleading and breaking and tears. His heart always, always reaches to embrace us.
He knows your name.
He knows your journey.
He knows you.