Oh, how I have learned. Sometimes, I get caught up in the things that are going wrong. They can be overwhelming. Then I focus on all the things that have happened and all the mistakes that I have made. Eventually, I come back to the thought that I have learned from them all. The mistakes and the hurt are the things that have given me understanding and tenacity. Life goes on, sometimes up and sometimes down, but never just middle of the road. We are either running or falling or picking ourselves up from the mud, but I know that I am certainly never bored.
And so I learn, moment by moment and day by day. I learn and grow and become someone that I never imagined I would be or could be. Often, in the darkness of the night, I find myself remembering the child that I used to be. What happened to all those hopes and dreams? What happened to all the wishes from dandelions and stars? My heart has been shattered, my eyes poured tears, my thoughts have been deep and dark, but that little girl has learned, and learned some more.
There have been times when I would have wished for changes. Times when I cried as if my heart were breaking (and it was), times when I didn't want to breathe or go on or dream ever again. I have learned to keep going, no matter how rough the road, you just keep walking one small step at a time. This life is but a fleeting moment of our eternity. I realize that even more now than I ever have before. And although there is pain, there is also joy in the overcoming of it. Although there are hurts, there are also healing and love.
We can choose to focus on all the bad, or we can choose to embrace the good. We can choose for the sacrifice not to have been in vain, or we can choose to live those dark moments over and over again. For me, the past is not worth the price of my present and my future. I am choosing to let it go.
I am choosing to look forward instead of back. I am choosing love instead of anger and hate. I promise it isn't easy, but I am learning, and that is what is most important after all.