that whining about it won't make it worse."
- Jeffrey R Holland
Oh yes, I have been (and sometimes continue to be) guilty of whining. It just seems as if things can go wrong, I can be misunderstood, I can make mistakes, I can take things personally, I can choose to whine.
The interesting thing for me is that I really never see myself as whining. I always seem to have a good excuse for that activity. Mostly, the excuses involve the way that I perceive I am being treated. It is almost as if I try and blame the whining on someone (anyone) else. I have discovered that I really don't want to be strong, or polite, or brave. There is a part of me that wants that moment of childishness. That one single, solitary moment to indulge the child within me and make excuses to simply whine. That is why I love the above quote so much. No matter how you look at it, whining only makes things so much worse.
Take when I have a migraine for example. I hate migraines (no, I am not whining!) I really do. They hurt, they make me sick to my stomach, they throb, they can take away pleasure from my life. Most of all, they have the effect on me of making me cranky!
However, all that aside, there is one big thing that they have taught me. When I whine about it, when I cry, when I give into the pain, it only makes it so much worse. A migraine (which for the record, is pretty much the worst pain ever!) stays at a dull roar until you start crying. When you start crying, it becomes a dragon out of your worst nightmare. It becomes overwhelming. I can't even describe the pain that it puts me in.
So, the one thing I have learned is that I never, ever cry when I have a migraine. I never get upset. I never get emotional. It is one of the hardest struggles I have ever been through. I can promise that I want to whine, I want to cry, I want to fall apart, but the penalty is much too high for me to give into those desires. So, I keep it in. I keep calm. I keep to myself. In short, I do all the things to make sure that I don't lose control, that I don't cause myself more pain.
The trick for me is to learn from the Migraines and keep the whining to a minimum in every part of my life. To remember the pain that comes from crying and complaining about it, and not keep doing it anyway. I have learned that whining really does make it worse.
"Each day is a special gift from God, and while life may not always be fair, you much never allow the pains, hurdles, and handicaps of the moment to poison your attitude and plans for yourself and your future. You can never win when you wear the ugly cloak of self-pity, and the sour sound of whining will certainly frighten away any opportunity for success. Never again. There is a better way." Og Madino