Five Minute Friday - Loss

My absolute favorite day of the week!  {Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about Five Minute Friday. It’s just that I spent some time with my family this weekend, and I haven't had access to a computer anywhere.  But, it was an amazing weekend and I really want to try and share my five minutes worth today.    
So, today, take a few moments to write and share you own five minutes.  Once you do, link up over at The Gypsy Mama and share with the rest of us.  For this week only, you can even take a few more than five minutes.  Link up;  come on, you know you want to!  

The prompt this week is LOSS

START


I have lost so many things in my life.  Sometimes I still ache with it.  The sense of being alone and lonely.  The wishing that it never happened.  The regrets, the pain, the despair.  Most of all, the overwhelming sense of grief and questioning.  They fly through my head no matter how much time has passed.  Could I have made a difference?  Should I have done more? Or less? Would things have turned out differently if I only would have.......
Loss has a way of making me feel like I can never, possibly, be good enough.  Like nothing I do will ever be able to make it better.  I see loss through the eyes of the people I love the most.  I feel it in the beat of their hearts and see the sadness in their faces. 
Loss leaves a mark like a tattoo on your heart.  You never feel quite the same.  You spend moments, days, months and years looking and waiting for the time to pass and for you to be able to go on without the pain.  Perhaps even to be whole again.
I have found that it never, completely goes away.  Loss is always there, just under the edge, waiting to put in an appearance.  I still have moments of grief, moments of memories, moments of wishing.  But interspersed with them, I also have moments of treasure, moments of contentment, moments of trust.  
I have discovered that life does go on.  That loss impacts every one of us in some way as we engage in this journey.  We are human.  We feel, we touch, we love, we cherish, we age, we need, we grieve.  
Loss reminds me that here is not the only life.  It is not the only place to be.  It is not even, necessarily, the best place to be.  It is just the only place  that I remember.  This journey is simply a preparation for the release and the coming together again.  It is but a blink in the course of who we really are.  
The more I love, the greater my circle of loss, but also, the greater my joy.  I find my greatest gifts in the time soothed memories of those who have loved me.  I learn from them in ways I never imagined.  I think it is the possibility of losing again, that makes me cling so tightly to the living.
Loss has given me faith.  Faith to breath, faith to wait, faith to hope, and faith to move on at last.  I may not always like or appreciate the journey, but I know that all things pass away and the time will come when I will understand and rejoice at last.  


STOP




Now it is your turn.  If you haven't all ready, take a moment and think about loss.  How have you changed?