When faced with life's challenges,
it is Important to Remember
that although Daniel was saved from the lions,
he was not saved from the Lion's Den.

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

The Quieter you Become

This one is for me today.  For those of you who know me, I am not very quiet at all.  I like to talk, I like to listen, I like to be a part of the world around me.  I like to always, always interact.  I think that I am afraid that if I am too quiet, I will miss something important, something big, something that I have never seen before.  Actually, I know in my mind, that it is probably better if I am quiet.   If I could stop and be calm, I just might observe more.  I might be able to be a part of the world around me. Instead of simply watching and wondering if I am good enough, I just might find out.   
There has been so much trauma in my life, so many times when I have been ignored and left alone.  More often, shunned or made fun of.   I just don't feel like I have the strength for that anymore.  For me, being quiet is a risk.  It is the risk that I might be overlooked.  It is the risk that I might be ignored.  It is a risk that I might become a shadow of my true self. 
Being quiet, is a learned ability for me.  It has been a chance of finding the joy in listening to someone else.  It also means not being so quick to defend myself before I know what is really being said, or even more important, what is really meant.  I somehow judge myself as not enough, no matter how hard I try.  It is easy to look back and think of what I should have done.  I get defensive because I really hate feeling like I have failed.  I am someone who probably over-analysis life.  I look hard at everything.  Believe me, if I have made a mistake, I have already been hard on myself for it.  I don't like being the reason why others don't participate or feel needed.
As I look and ponder on the above message, I feel the noise that surrounds me, the busyness of the day and night.  I feel my heart yearn for peace. 
Today, I want very much to just be still.......

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