When faced with life's challenges,
it is Important to Remember
that although Daniel was saved from the lions,
he was not saved from the Lion's Den.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

The Forty Dollar Shoes

The kids and I were out shopping (actually window shopping, but it is hard for them to know the difference).  They wanted (maybe even needed) a pair of tennis shoes, but they can also wait until school starts again unless I get them for a super buy in the meantime.  We were looking in a shoe store at the clearance racks and seeing if we could find some that were in the budget and that the girls liked.  It was a buy one get one 50% off sale, so that can be pretty good. 
Anya went roaming off into the store and came back with a pair of $40.00 shoes.  They had bling-bling all over them and were, of course, the ones she set her heart on.  I have a real problem with spending $40.00 on any shoes, (I never even spend that much on the ones I wear) let alone a pair for a nine-year-old that she will out-grow and never out-wear.  I veto-ed the shoes as ones that were too expensive, and she started to cry.  I wrapped my arms around her and told her that we can keep looking and find another pair in the $20.00 range. 
She pushed me away and yelled at me, "You spent four hundred dollars on a camera!  That is the ONLY reason that you can't buy me my shoes!  It is not fair!  You spend money on yourself, but not on me!" 
Hmmm, what do you say to a nine-year-old who says that to you?  I had my feelings hurt a little. 
First, I have waited years to buy the camera and it costs a lot more that $400.00, but there was no way in the world that I was going to tell her that! 
Second, I have learned that when kids lash out at you, it is often better to not say anything rather than try and defend yourself or pacify them. 
And third, I don't believe in giving into a child who throws a tantrum.  All in all, it was not going to be a good day for Anya!

I think that there have been times in my life when I probably behaved a lot like my normally sweet daughter.  There are things that I want and think I need and when I go to Heavenly Father in prayer, the answer can sometimes be a very resounding "NO".   I am even sure that I pout and plead for the things that I think I really want and need.  We can only see this one moment in our lives.  We don't know what went before we came here, and we can't see the time move into eternity.  Like Anya, we can't see the whole picture.  Our Heavenly Father knows all things and He can see the ones that are best for us right now and the ones that can help us become most like Him. 
One of the things that I am sure I need to learn here in this life is to trust my Heavenly Father that He will give me what I need the most.  Part of that trust means that I have to learn to listen to the "NO" as well as to the "yes", and respect the answer that I receive. 


  1. You had me at "shoe shopping". Seriously though, that was a good parenting moment. And she wouldn't be a healthy, happy child if she wasn't deprived of what she really wanted on a semi-regular basis. Take her to Ross, maybe she'll strike gold.

  2. Yeah, too bad there are no Ross stores in our town!! We are very small, so shopping is a BIG event! Thanks for commenting. And I really do buy into that depriving them thing! I have to admit though that it is pretty hard for them to understand when I actually take a moment to get something for myself (believe me, that doesn't happen very often!). Oh well, I am sure she will survive. The question is, will she throw it back into my face at some point in her growing up years???


  3. Ooo! One of those brave mommy moments. How do we ever explain? I am so glad you are a mom that believes in NOT giving in. There are too many out there and thus there are too many brats out there.

  4. Your post made me think about President Uchtdorf talk on Patience.(He is a great story teller just like you.)He said " As parents, we know how unwise it would be to indulge our children's every desire. But children are not the only ones who spoil when showered with immediate gratifation. Our Heavently Father knows what good parents come to understand over time: If children are ever going to mature and reach their potential, they must learn to wait." By the way I love your stories I share them all the time with freinds and family.

  5. yea, I hate to admit it, but after asking the Lord for things that I did not get, I now, just want to say, "what should I be asking for?" Being a parent teaches you a lot about our relationship with God. I often think, Oh, that's how He must feel. I get it now.

  6. I loved President Uchtdorf's talk. It was perfect for our family. I really don't believe in giving in, but I do have a very unhealthy does of guilt for myself every once in awhile. I have always had a hard time spending money on myself. So, she hit me below the belt so to speak. How is it that kids always seem to know exactly how to turn on the guilt???