I am trying so much to live this way right now. I am constantly focused on work. I am focused on what needs to be done. I like to be in control of what I need in my life. The hardest thing for me, is to realize that I am not ever completely in control.
I had to give up some of the things that I enjoy a lot to try and simplify my life. I am no longer an EMT. I have lived for years without sleeping and with overworking myself. When I married my husband, I worked three different jobs. It has always been a crazy schedule that I have kept. We moved up to the mountains, and I really thought that I would slow down; somehow, that did not happen. Instead, I looked for a volunteer job to get involved with the community, and discovered a love of helping people.
I have loved being an EMT and providing a service to my community. I am grateful for the many things it has taught me and for the opportunity to serve that it has given me. I am actually trying to do just one job now, and maybe manage to take care of my home and family at the same time.
I am trying in every way that I know to slow down.
I have been very blessed to have people that I love in my life. I have my family (bigger and crazier than every) and I have my friends. I live in a small community, where people know each other by name or at least, by sight. I love that most of the time. However, as the past couple of years have happened, I have discovered myself becoming more and more exhausted. I am always tired. I have no energy, and I recognize in myself the need to slow down.
I also recognize the need to remember how very blessed I am.
So, this is me, slowing down and recognizing the simple blessings that I am the recipient of. This is me, trying to breath through the chaos of ordinary life. This is me, taking joy in this moment, this day and this week.
This is me, finding simple in the messiness of living and learning to enjoy the daily simple things.
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