Friday, March 3, 2017
Every Single Scar
I have felt his way for a very long time. There are things in my life that I could wish away! But when I really stop and think about it, all those things have led me to this place right here that I am living.
One of the most important things I have learned about trials, is that the Lord never gives us a trial without also providing a blessing for us. Often the blessing is not noticed for a time, but that does not negate the fact that it is there. I do not believe that God causes bad things to happen to us. I do believe that things happen for one of three reasons:
1. Our own sins.
2. The sins of others.
3. It is part of living our lives.
Yes, I like to simplify things. But it helps me in the long run to NOT blame God.
Sometimes, we suffer because of our own choices. Driving and texting and getting in an accident is one way. I know of people that it has taken nearly a year to heal from injuries received while texting and driving. That is a lot of consequences to be faced with, for anyone.
Sometimes we suffer because of the choices of others, jealousy, hate, envy and even murder all can be the cause of crimes against us that were not our fault. I don't believe the Lord causes anyone to murder or be violent. Nor do I believe the "devil made them do it". Rather it is the consequences of a very bad choice on their part that leads to a very bad outcome for someone else.
We also suffer because it is life. We get sick, we get hurt, we have disease. I have depression and anxiety, no because of anything that I have done to myself, but because it is life and that is how I cope with it. It doesn't mean I have to like it. It does mean that I need to know my own limits. Something that I am realllllly trying to learn.
I am grateful for my scars. I am glad they are over and that I am not still going through them, but they truly have made me into the woman I am today. Many of them have given me the courage to fight for others. I have become independent and strong. I expect a lot of myself. I work hard.
There are also things that I have learned that I wish I could unlearn. So, I am working on those. You really CAN teach an old dog new tricks! For me, I want to learn to play. I am trying to do more games with my family. I am not a game person. Life has taught me to be serious more than silly and that is not the type of Grandmother that I want to be. So, I am trying to learn and grow in other ways.
We can all have gratitude for the lives that we are given and the people in our lives that help us to become our best selves. I am not sure that I have to be grateful to those who have hurt me or the ones that I love, but I can work my hardest on forgiveness and trust that in the end, somehow in ways I don't understand, we will all be made whole.