It is not easy for me to stop worrying. I worry about everything: Being late, being early, having money, not having enough money, work, school, the cars, the phone, the bills. You name it, I have probably worried about it.
It is sad to me to even try to think about how much of my life has been spent in worrying. My stomach in knots, but brain whirling, my heart beating fast. I think I may worry just a little too well!
Take this week for example; I have an 18 year old teen. She is a really good girl. However, she went to see a friend in Holbrook. The road there is a good one, but there are way too many accidents along it late at night. I planned on her being home by 9:00. In reality, it was after 1:00 in the morning when she came in. She did text, so it is not like I didn't know where she was or what was going one, but I couldn't sleep.
Finally, after tossing and turning, I went out on the couch and watched a TV show. I stayed up until she arrived home (safe at last!) and then was up for about 40 minutes later to get my anxiety under control. Six hours of sleep later, and it was time to get up to start the Sabbath day.
I was exhausted! Then 6 hours of sleep Sunday night and back to work. After a very long day (about 14 hours) I came home and finally went to sleep at 9:00 again, only to wake up at 3:00AM to worry and not go back to sleep. I really have to find a way to stop this!!
Worry is not my friend.
I know this quote is true, even if it is so hard for me to remember. I have seen the Lord's hand in my life when things don't work out the way I always planned they would.
I had so many dreams as a child. Ones where I was a surgeon, or a rocket scientist, or an astronaut. I dreamed things that did not come true. Somehow, I never saw myself quite where I am today. Yet in all my dreams, I could never have seen the blessings that I would be given instead. I think that I am right where I need to be. So, when plans don't work out, when the road is uphill, when everything and everyone seems to conspire against you, have faith. I believe the Lord's plans for us are so much bigger than anything we could dare to dream.