Plan A

 

Life never seems to go quite the way we plan it.  I am learning, through my own experience, that is ok.  I used to love to go to Women's Conference up in Utah at BYU.  It is a weekend with speakers who talk about all kinds of things.  I take it pretty seriously and go through the entire schedule to circle the speakers I would like to hear and also back up ones in case the session is full.  It can get crazy there as it seems to me that all the speakers I want to hear, there are several thousand of my sisters who want to hear the same ones.  I can't tell you how many times I have had to go to a class that didn't even sound interesting to me, only to find it was exactly what I needed to hear. 
Life is a little like those conferences.  We go through lots of trials in this life.  Most of us have a plan for dealing with them.  However, if you are like me, often plan A does not even come close to dealing with the problem.  Sometimes, it seems as if I get all the way to plan X or Y before I find something that will work. 
I can get so caught up in my own visualizing of the situation, that I don't take into account what is really needed.  For instance, I get so excited about serving someone, that I forget to take into account others might not want to serve with me.  In my mind, everyone is on the same page.  They all want to do the same things that I want to do.  Of course, that is not true, I just forget and want everyone else to find the same joy that I do in service.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.  We each find joy in our own types of service.  We don't all find joy in doing the same things.
I am a planner, and often, when things don't go quite the way I planned for them to go, I get upset and stressed about what is going to happen.  I am not sure that I will ever deal with stress in a positive way, I am trying to see stress as simply more changes.  I keep telling myself that "change is good", right???
Or, if it is not good, perhaps it is good for me.  Nevertheless, much like my experience at BYU, I think that my Heavenly Father knows the things I need to do and He will put them in my path if I will just trust in Him.  He knew I needed to hear those speakers at just that time.  It can be hard to trust when you can't see where the road you are on ends.  It can be even harder to let go and simply believe.  However, I know that He is ever mindful of us.  One of my favorite scriptures, that brings me peace is found in Alma

Alma 36:27
And I have been supported under trials and troubles of every kind, yea, and in all manner of afflictions; yea, God has delivered me from prison, and from bonds, and from death; yea, and I do put my trust in him, and he will still deliver me.

I might not have been in prison, but I have been made a prisoner because of the actions of others.  I know that He is with me and watching over me.  As I look back over the past several years, I can realize that my Plan A, was never His.  He wanted me to work through it, but He did not leave me alone.  Eventually, I got there. 
I have come to discover that, only after our trial, comes the blessings.  Today, I can be thankful that the Plan A's of my life have seldom worked out.  I an appreciate the struggle.  I can recognize the strength I have gained, and I can appreciate the Love that He has for me.