Letting Go

 

I forget to find joy in the moment.  I have an entire laundry list of Should have's and could have's, but I really need to figure out how to burn that list and come up with all the things are really ARE. 

When I was young, I really wanted to be a doctor, but life stepped in and I became a mother instead.  I am not sorry for a single moment of not doctoring that happened.  I am sorry that that dream took me so very long to let go of.  I started going to school to be a nurse, but found myself in the position of being a single mother instead.  So, I went to work.  I have waited tables, been a nursing assistant, delivered papers, taken pictures, been an EMT and even been a telephone solicitor.  I have done anything and everything that I could to support my family and raise my children. 

But I have never let go of the should have's and could have's.  Perhaps it is time now. 

I love my EMT job.  It doesn't really pay, but it is truly a job of love.  I love being able to help people who are hurting and see direct results because I get them to the care they need.  I love my family.  I have been able to raise and love my children.  They have become adults that I can be proud of.  They are truly better than I have ever been, and that is all I could ever ask for.  I think that my life looks exactly how it is supposed to.  It might not be the way that I imagined it, but it is a life that I can celebrate.   

 

2 Nephi 2:25    Adam fell that men might be;
and men are, that they might have joy.

Heavenly Father did not send us here to be miserable.  He wants us to be happy.  He wants us to have joy.  He wants us to celebrate the good things in our lives.  He wants us to celebrate our blessings.  I love that He is mindful of our happiness.  I love that He wants us to be positive about our lives.  So today, I am going to trust that He knows exactly who I needed to be and that all these experiences shall be for my good. 
Today, I am letting go of the past and moving forward toward a new future. 
Today, I am going to find my joy.