It is so easy to get caught up in everything that is going on. It is easy to put our Christianity, our religion, or even our good works aside. In today's world, it is way too easy to become self-centered and selfish. It is also too easy to get caught up in the negatives and forget how many blessings we are given.
I had a hard experience this week. I was told that everybody in town hates me. That I am way too mean. That I make everyone angry. That they were warned about me when they came here. It was quite hurtful actually and made me want to lash out and retaliate.
It can be hard living in a small town. Sometimes it feels like I am in a bubble and everyone knows my business. It can also be rewarding. Several times a year, the community gets together for service. I love how I feel when my brothers and sisters from every religion meet together and participate in something that has meaning and inspiration for my soul.
Sometimes I have to balance the bad of a moment with the good that I know is really here. It can be easy to get caught up in the negative and forget the positive.
If I am honest with myself, I am probably not always as nice as I should be. I still react to things instead of thinking them through. I still make mistakes. I still get angry. I still get hurt. I still want people to see things from my perspective.
We all make mistakes. We all sin. We all forget. That is why it does my heart so much good to remember that I am loved by Him. I am blessed by Him. Even when I don't feel like it, He is there and loves me through it all.
Today, I turned to a scripture in James and it reminded me that each one of us needs reminding once in a while.
James 1:22 But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.
Sometimes, I think I try too hard to deceive myself. I hear the words that are spoken, but my own habits and responses let me down. I forget to be a doer. It makes me wonder what I could or should do differently. What would make me calm instead of angry? What would make me happy instead of stressed? What would make me a doer instead of a hearer only?
I am thankful that He doesn't lose hope in me. I struggle and I reach and hopefully, eventually, I will achieve what I am looking for. I hate to even think of praying for patience and understanding, I never have liked the results of that! But at this time in my life, I think maybe it is time to let go and trust Him. To have Him help me become a doer of the word so that when others see me, they also feel Him near. I really want others to feel the love in my heart that I have for them. I want them to know that they are cared about. That they are loved and needed. That they always have been, and always will be His.
I want to be a doer of His word.