Since I haven't been writing until just recently, I decided it might help to explain some things. When I first started writing on this blog, I wanted it to be all positive. I wanted to write things that would help people to see the blessings of the Lord in their own lives each and every day. As I have had pretty much some of the worst years of my life, I have grown to understand that my writing isn't always supposed to be positive, and neither am I. Sometimes, the very best we can do for each other is to let others know that we struggle, that we question, that we cry, that we despair. Only when we share those paths that are such an integral part of ourselves, do we help others on their own journeys.
As I admit to my own failings, I start to understand myself. I start to receive the answers that I was looking for. They are not necessarily in my own time, but they do come. I love the quote above because it is about patience. The patience to wait. The patience to ponder. It is about being willing to accept, even when it is hard. And believe me, I have learned that it can be so very hard. Patience is not my strength!
It is kind of like the winter. I love the snow. It is beautiful. But after a few months, especially when the snow gets dirty and muddy and just plain ugly, and when I am tired of all the cold and the wind and the forgetting my coat, I really, really want it to be spring. I know that spring will come, but sometimes it takes so much longer than I want it to. I know that the plants will turn green, and the flowers will bloom. I know that spring on the mountain is just around the corner, but all the knowing in the world does not satisfy my wanting of it to be right now.
I have to wait. All things happen in their own time, and in God's time, not mine.
So, for the past few years, I have had to struggle and learn that waiting is hard work. It can feel like forever. Dealing with unfairness and pain is not what I wanted to do at this time in my life, but it is what I must do. All the wanting in the world does not change the mind and heart of others, only God can do that.
So for today, I will strive just a little harder for patience in adversity. Today, I will wait and see.