My past haunts me. Some days even more than others. I can't get the pictures out of my brain, no matter how hard I try. The little girl that I used to be, still lives here inside of me. There are days that I still feel her pain.
I believe that life is hard. I believe that Heaven weeps for our despairs. I also have learned that, no matter how hard I try, the past is going to keep coming up in my present. So, no matter how much I long to forget, I know it is not going to happen. What I am seeking to do, is to learn from it and not make the same mistakes again, or go through those same experiences. I am hoping that sharing bits and pieces of myself through my writing will help me to heal and let it go.
I know that living for today brings joy. When I am in the moment, I am happy, I am content. When I think of the past, I am conflicted, I feel hopeless and helpless. I can see why it is so important to learn to be in the present.
The past is hopeless, we can't change it. No matter what our dreams were, they are probably not our reality today. When I live in the past, I find myself depressed and anxious. I also find myself worrying more, agonizing over the smallest things, and believing that the very worst will happen.
The future isn't here yet. It is ever changing and fluid. Our thoughts and actions today will impact the tomorrow that we will see. There is always hope in the future. There is always the promise of becoming who we want to be, or even better, who we were meant to be.
Jesus Christ Lives Again. That is the promise of Easter. The promise of hope. The promise of becoming. In my beliefs, I don't focus on His death, I focus on His life. Both the life He lived and especially the fact that He lives again. He provides the way to hope. He is my light and my life. Because of Him, I know that the past will be overcome. I may not be there yet, but it will happen. Because of Him I know that I am loved beyond measure and that the future is absolutely as bright as my faith.