When faced with life's challenges,
it is Important to Remember
that although Daniel was saved from the lions,
he was not saved from the Lion's Den.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

I'm Not Fat

 I'm not FAT!
That's just my awesomeness
Swelling up inside of me.

I love these words.  What a wonderful way to look at myself.  My whole life I have struggled with my weight.  I was anorexic in High School and ate once every three days.  I keep my weight right at 100 lbs.  It wasn't hard.  I became so used to it that I never was hungry.  Time passed and I started having children.  My weight went up and down and back and forth.  Sometimes I was thin, and sometimes I wasn't.  I really wanted to stay thin.  It seemed as if my entire family was thin except me.   As I got older, the weight became even harder to keep off.  I weighed well over 200 lbs and let me tell you, I did not feel very awesome.
In all of this, I have had to learn to like myself in spite of my body type.  I have had to learn that my body is a wonderful gift.  It is not always the same shape or size, but it is mine.  I can walk, I can run, I can do things to make others happy.  I can choose to be filled with misery or awesomeness.  It really is up to me.
Today, I have lost over 60 lbs.  I still have 30 more to go to get to my goal, but I am working on it.  One moment, one day, one week and one year at a time.  I have learned that what I weigh isn't near as important as how I see myself.  I have had to learn to look at myself with just a little more forgiveness and understanding.  I have had to learn that the person I want to be is not determined by weight.  Rather, the person that I am is working on those traits and characteristics that make me more like my Heavenly Father.
I am learning how to be awesome.