Dear Abby

I love this definition of maturity.  I even remember reading it long ago.  Most of it is easy to understand and to do.  Some of it is harder.  I am pretty sure there are those among us who never master it.  For me, the hardest might be to be able to bear an injustice without wanting to get even.  Somehow, in my mind, I want things to be "fair".  I want those who have wronged me and my family to "pay".  Don't ask me what I want them to pay, because I honestly don't know, I just want everything to be fair in my life.
I am trying to reach a point where "fair" doesn't matter anymore.  Where I can trust God to met out justice and mercy in the amounts required for the other person to be able to repent and still know they are loved.  That is important to me.  I know in my own life, that I want a second chance, (sometimes even a 3rd or a 4th).  I know that I seek and want to have forgiveness.  I know how much it hurts to have people believe the bad things about me that they do.  I know, that change is possible for all of us.
It is the wanting to get even part that I struggle with.  Sometimes, I wish that I could open up the head of the offender and put inside the knowledge of what they have done.  Do they know and understand?  Or does it totally escape them?  There is a part of me that believes if they knew, they would stop making those decisions.  They would be sorry.  They would change.
However, in many instances, we have to be willing to accept an apology that we will never get.  We have to love even when we don't want to.  We don't have to like what someone does, but we do need to love them in spite of themselves.  For me, I don't get angry very often, but when I do, it can be difficult to let it go.  My focus right now is on letting go of the anger, and frustration, and the hardness of my own heart.  Letting it go and letting God have the problem.  Letting Him find the reasons to forgive.  Remembering, that no matter how I feel, we are all, each and every one, His children.  Letting Him soften my own heart and fill me with His love.