A Different Street

One of my favorite poems is this:

Autobiography in five short chapters

by Portia Nelson

I.

I walk, down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in

I am lost - I am helpless

It isn't my fault

It takes forever to find a way out.

II.

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don't see it.

I fall in again.

I can't believe I am in the same place

but, it isn't my fault.

It still takes a long time to get out.

III.

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it is there.

I still fall in - It's a habit.

my eyes are open.

I know where I am.

It is my fault.

I get out immediately.

IV.

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.

V.

I walk down another street.

I love this poem because it is so much like my life.  Life is a learning process.  Somehow, I don't seem to always get the message quite as soon as I should.  I seem to make the same mistakes, over and over, until I finally try another way of approaching the problem.  Have you ever done that?  Made the same mistakes and kept hoping for a different result?  Have you walked down the same street over and over?
I have found that I am tested and tried in the same types of things until I finally walk down a different street.   Patience is a perfect example.  I keep getting tested in that area until I finally manage to control my temper.  Or even until I finally manage to not have a temper at all.
I am ashamed to admit it, but one of my greatest weaknesses used to be swearing.  I never said anything particularly terrible, but I was not speaking the way I should.  This finally became very important for me to overcome.  I prayed, I fasted, I worked on it.  I even used substitute words.  I kept walking down the same street and falling in the same hole.
Finally, I discovered  that I needed to take myself out of the situation where habit interfered with my desire to not swear.  If I was going to lose my temper, I went into my room until I was calm.  I went into my office at work and counted to ten and stayed there until the peace came.  It was not easy.  I had to learn that putting myself in the same place elicited the same unwanted response.  I had to learn to walk down a different street.
Today, I am much happier.  I am not perfect, but I feel good about my language now.  For the most part, I am not ashamed for my children to hear me speak.  I know that they also see I am walking on a different street.  I know that they have seen the power of change in my life.

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.

None of us can change our past.  It is gone into the whisper of time, but each of us has the power to change whatever we are and become whoever we would like to be.  I can promise that it won't be easy.  But I can also promise that it will be worth it.