The Appearance of Things

"The appearance of things changes according to our emotions, and thus we see the magic and beauty in them, while in reality, the magic and beauty are really in ourselves".

I loved this quote when I found it.  It reminded me that we are all responsible for finding the magic and beauty that is around us.  We can't wait for anyone else to make us happy.  That is our own responsibility.  We have to find the magic and beauty inside of ourselves in order to appreciate it in those around us.

We are currently dealing with a possibly long and difficult illness in our family.  It has been a real struggle over the past couple of months to try and keep a positive attitude and to hope always for the best.  We have struggled to make choices that were in the best interest of the person involved.  These choices have included trying to do this without a lot of medical intervention. 
Monday, we had to change tracks and decide to go with the medication.  It has not been an easy decision.  Medication has risks associated with it that we have been unwilling to take.  However, emotionally, it is now time.  So, today, we started the first pill. 
Probably, if you saw our family, you would not realize what is wrong.  You would probably not even realize who it was that had the problems.  But they are still there.  Hopefully hiding somewhere under the surface until they can be dealt with.  Some days are easier than others.  Some days are highly visible, and some days are less obvious to the eye, but all days bring their own kind of pain. 
One of the speakers at Time Out For Women, spoke about finding out her son had a serious illness.  Her name is Amanda Dickson.  She talked about when she found out her son had this disease, she took him from the doctor's office and went out into her car and cried.  Then she got out of her car and opened the back door to buckle him into his car seat.  He happily smiled up at her and as she looked at him she thought to herself, "This is the worst thing that could happen!  This is what I was so afraid of?  This boy is the same boy I loved five minutes ago when I did not know what was wrong.  None of that has changed.  I still love him and he is the same boy he was five minutes ago".
I loved that statement.  It is so true.  Each of my children are the same to me as they were when they were little children.  I love them all, no matter what sickness they have had, no matter what choices they have made, no matter how they have dealt with their disappointments and adversities.  My love surrounds them always.  I pray that they will always know that and know that I love them just as they are.

One of my favorite stories is "The Velveteen Rabbit" by Margery Williams.
This is a short except from the book.

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

I have discovered that Love is the most important thing any of us have to offer.  It is truly a gift of the heart.