The source of the light

I was really touched by this one.  I have not been able to see a silver lining for a very long time.  Sometimes, it feels as if God cannot possibly be there.  This was a good reminder for me.  My mind knows that He is there, my testimony knows he is there, but my heart can feel very alone sometimes. 
I have learned that we are all going through different "stuff".  Often, it feels like more than we can possibly bear. 
It hurts. 
It hinders.
It blinds us to what might be coming. 
The "stuff" we go through becomes our own mixed up sense of reality.  It isn't our entire existence, but it can certainly feel like it.  It can make everything else feel like a negative in our lives.  The very hardest thing for me during those times is to trust God that it will somehow work out right. 
As I listen to the talks of others, I know that there have been many things that I have not had to go through.  But the things that are on my plate, are more than enough for me.  I used to believe that God never gave us things that we couldn't handle.  I have come to understand that He does.  He gives us many things that are too great for us to bear alone.  Those things turn our hearts toward Him. 
I don't believe that he causes our problems and difficulties.  I do believe that they are caused by three things:  One is our own sins.  Our own decisions when they are the wrong choices can give us pain and suffering. 
Two is the sins of others.  I don't believe that the Lord causes abuse or anger or murder or anything else.  I have learned that He allows us all our free agency and when people make bad choices, it leads to bad things for others. 
Three is sometimes it is just life.  Hurricanes happen, tornadoes, flooding, famine, hardships.  All those things can bring pain and suffering that we are not exempt from. 
I am over simplifying here, but still it remains true.  God does not cause our problems.  He does allow us to go through things that are too big for us to bear alone.  We can choose to turn to Him and know that He is there.  We can choose to believe that somehow, in ways we have yet to understand, the blessings will be more than the suffering. 
He is the source of the light in the darkness of life.  If we turn to Him, whatever happens in the here and now is not the most important thing we will go through.  Choosing Him in the midst of darkness, is.