There is Room

I really love to listen to Elder Holland speak.  He reminds me of the person that I should be.  I do not like it when people judge me, and I also do not like it when I find myself judging others.  I used to look at people and judge myself by what I perceived them to be.  I have learned that is not a true estimation of me (or them).  I have found some amazing people who do not fit whatever standards that I set for myself.  It does not make them less or me more.  I should only ever judge myself against myself.  Who I want to be, against who I really am. 

I love this quote because there are so many people with questions.  I have questions.  I have always had questions.  It is just that, as I grow older, I am more willing to wait for the answers.  I guess I am looking forward to the next life when all the answers will be there for me to find.  

When I was younger, I wanted everything to be mapped out for me.  I wanted the answers to be written somewhere that I could read and find.  I thought that every single thing was in black and white.  There were no grey areas in life.  It was either wrong or right.  No in-between.  Now I know better.  There are so many shades of grey that I am surprised when I do find my own answers.  I am learning that it is perfectly OK to see things differently than anyone else.  It is fine not to be on the same page as long as we can reach across the distance and be tolerant and understanding.  

I am learning that kindness means a lot more than being right.  And that it can make all the difference in acceptance and love.  I have learned that we don't have to have all the answers to just love each other.  

None of us have all the answers, and every single one of us have questions about doctrine, gospel, scriptures, commandments and even trials and blessings.  Some peoples questions are more intense than others.  Some struggle to understand what is happening and why it is happening.  Some struggle with things that have changed.  Others struggle with the questions of why bad things happen to good people.  

I think the point of this is that the closer to God we become, the less we will need to know every answer.  Sometimes, it is OK to wait for a while and see what happens.  Sometimes answers come after we have our own experiences.  Sometimes answers come through prayers, or friendship, or reading the scriptures,  Sometimes, the answers may never seem to come.  

There are so many things I used to need answers to.  And some I have actually received.  Others I am still working on.  But the one thing I have learned is to not let the things I don't understand cause me to doubt the things that I know are true.   

There are things that I know as surely as I know the sun will rise and the night will come.  There are even more things that I don't know.  

So hold on and remember that someday, we will have the answers to everything we want to know.  The time will come when I suspect that we will look back and wonder how we ever doubted.  When we will see the hand of God through every moment of our lives.  When we will realize that He did not cause the bad and that he walked through it with us every step of the way.  

For me, I refuse to doubt my faith.  For me, church is for all of us imperfect sinners.  It is the place I go when I need to feel comfort and faith.  For me, there is room in that inn for each one of us.