This one gets me into trouble on a regular basis. So many times, in my work or even at church, people think that they understood something I said that I never meant the way they heard, and can't even remember saying. Take work for example. I had someone get really angry with me because he said that one of us told him it was fine that he didn't renew his box. Problem is, none of us would ever say that because if you don't renew your box, you lose it and the lock gets changed and the mail gets sent back to sender. It really is not a choice we have. The computer system tells us when to close a box and what boxes to close. With nearly 3000 PO Boxes, it is not something that I can even begin to remember.
That is just one instance of a big misunderstanding. I seem to attract those like some people attract flies. Even if I don't say it, it is always, always, always my fault. I have been very stressed lately. At work, we are two clerks down and I only have four to begin with. We are working weekends, holidays and early mornings. Mostly I am just tired. And people sometimes (or even often) take advantage of that.
My boss told me today that there is light at the end of the tunnel. So, hopefully that means the hiring process is moving along at a nice pace now. The wheels on this bus seem to move oh so slow!
I cannot believe how exhausted I really am. Of course, it probably doesn't help that I run for the fire department nearly every night, and there are so many things going on in my personal life.
My husband is having surgery on Friday, My daughter is graduating at the end of the month. I am behind on getting the announcements out and on doing her collage for her pictures for her friends. She is also getting ready to go on her senior trip and thinks she needs new pants with everything else.
Sometimes, I know that I say the right things, but people just hear what they want to hear, and they don't hear what they don't want to. It is so hard for me to say no, but when I do, people don't believe that I mean it. I must be easy to convince that I am wrong or something.
This week, I am trying a little harder to take care of myself. I am writing, I am reading my scriptures, I am trying to be kind even when I say no. It doesn't always work, but it helps if I am not quite so frustrated with the life that I am living. I just don't cope well when I feel like those around me are taking advantage of me. So, this week, I am only going to be responsible for what I say, and not for what they want to hear. I am only responsible for what I mean, and not what anyone else perceives. I am only responsible for me.