Memoirs Monday - Gratitude and Hope in Adversity

"Keep the faith.  The most amazing things in life tend to happen right at the moment when you are about to give up hope".

My life has not always been easy.  It has been better than some and worse than others.  I has been up and down and pretty much all around.  Yet, I have received some of my greatest blessings in the middle of my hardest trials.  

I thought that I would never be loved.  My experience taught me that every man in my life would eventually leave me.  I had real problems with my own self-worth and with hope.  I really struggled with whether or not God loved me.  

Many years ago, I was a single mom with six children.  They were are are amazing.  We worked hard together and took care of each other, and they have always loved me.  Even when I forget.  I was diagnosed with cancer in my ovaries.  The doctor scheduled a complete hysterectomy for the next week.  I was heartbroken.  Even though I had six children, I had always imagined more.  Now I was going to lose even that gift.  

I went to my bishop and he gave me a blessing.  In our church, we receive blessings for worthy Priesthood holders to help in times of sickness and need.  In the blessing, I was told that I would be completely healed and that the Lord had more children for me if I lived worthy. 

I went back to the doctor the next day for all the preliminary testing before the surgery.  I asked the doctor if he would check and be very sure before he took anything out.  He promised that He would.  He reran all the tests and checked everything.  The next morning I received a call from his office to come in.  He reran the tests again and told me he was really sorry, but someone must have made a mistake because everything kept coming back clean.  I did not have cancer.  I did not need a hysterectomy, I did have a cyst that needed to be removed from off my ovary.  It was done with a simple surgery that did not require a hospital stay.  

I knew without a doubt that my Heavenly Father loves me.  He answered that prayer many years later with the birth of a daughter that we named Miracle.  She is the answer to prayer and the gift to me from a loving Heavenly Father.  

We can't always see the end of our trials.  It was 10 years before I was married again.  I had honestly decided that I would not marry and that the blessing would be answered with Step Children, or possibly in the next life.  I did marry a wonderful man who had two children of his own.  Imagine my surprise when I had three more girls starting when I was 37 years old.  I have never been more blessed.  

Together, we have 11 children.  I have learned the blessings of "yours, mine and ours" and I have learned to have gratitude for my trials.  Without them, I would never realize how often Heavenly Father answers our prayers.  I would not realize the depth of His love for each one of us or how much He desires to bless us.  Keep your faith.  The blessings really do come after our trials.