Prompt: Describe a disciplinary method your parents used on you as a child that you use(d) on your own children?
My parents used a lot of ways to discipline, that i never have used in my life. The one way that has stayed the same is grounding. When I was a teen, I was often grounded to my room. I wasn't an ordinary teen. I did not rebel with drugs or bad friends, or running off. My form of rebellion was to go to church. Of course, it probably helped that the church I went to was not the same as the one my parents wanted me to go to.
When things were at their worst, I would sneak out my bedroom window and go to church, knowing that when I got home, there would be a beating and a grounding to go with it. I was grounded from church for every seeming infraction. I have stayed up to three months in my bedroom when my parents were home. They "did not want to see my face".
My parents couldn't ground me often from friends, I didn't really have any. They couldn't ground me from babysitting, because I bought everything I needed with my own money and they did not want to buy anything that I might need. I never thought I would ground my own children, but after all the other things I learned, this one, somehow has still stayed with me.
Of course, when my children are grounded, they still have to go the church and school. They spend extra time on chores and homework, and they hate it as much as I used to! Especially because I only use grounding when there is something that they really want to do instead of stay home with me!
I have learned that grounding has to be fair. They need to know it is a consequence based on their own actions. They need to know that it is coming and that I expect the problem not to happen again. I do think that grounding can be effective, although I don't believe in grounding for everything and I never ground them to their room. I want them to be part of the family and part of what we do. I want them to realize that although I am disappointed in their behavior, I will always love them and want to be with them.
My family means the world to me. They are the best blessing that I could ever have.
Oh my gosh, your childhood groundings were certainly out of line. I believe in grounding like you are doing; but my problem was I would forget what I grounded them for. I had one son who was especially a problem. I don't know how he ever got in trouble because he was grounded so much. He was a challenge that I learned great lessons from.
ReplyDeleteBlessings for your honest thoughts on this one!