What You Get

Sometimes, What you get

Is better than

What you wanted. 

Somewhere, in the midst of all those tiny people, are a couple of my grand children and my three younger girls.  Grammy and Papa took them all to the museum.  It was amazing.  Climbing, running, looking, crawling, sliding, searching and even getting lost once or twice was all part of our exhausting day.  Now, you should know that the girls did not want to go to the museum.  No matter what I told them, they thought it was going to be dumb.  The only thing they wanted to do was go ice skating and swimming.  

Sad to say, they have the meanest mom and grammy ever.  We went to the museum because I wanted to go.  Then they proceeded to have one of the very best days ever!  

I could post a hundred pictures here to show you how much fun they had, but I will stop with these few.  Suffice it to say, that I learned something from my kids.  We never know what is in store for us in this life.  We don't know if we will like it, or not.  We don't know if we will learn something, or not.  We don't know if it is going to be fun, or not.  But we do need to learn to trust.  To believe that God knows what we need.  He wants us to return to Him.  He loves us more than we can possibly imagine.   He knows each one of our names and what we like and what we need.  I love the scripture in the Doctrine and Covenants that says:  

"Pray always, and I will pour out my spirit upon you, and great shall be your blessing - yea, even more than if you should obtain treasures of earth."  D&C 19:38)

He wants to pour His spirit upon us.  He wants us to succeed here.  He truly knows our hearts and our minds and has sacrificed that we might also return to Him.  The scriptures are filled with stories of those He loved; the woman at the well; the lepers; the blind; the crippled; the sinners; those He raised from the dead; the five thousand that He fed; the children that He blessed.  We read of his desire to rescue the "one" lost sheep, the lost lambs, He has said that He would gather us together, "as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings"  (Matt. 23:27).  The Saviors example is indeed the light which shines over our path.  He is always willing to light our way in the darkest of circumstances.  Sometimes, what we get, ends up being so much more than we ever thought we wanted or deserved.  

Five Minute Friday - Encouragement

Today is one of my favorite days of the week.  It is Friday.  Five Minute Friday to be exact.  So, I hope you all decide to join us for our weekly writing spree over at Lisa Jo's place.  You simply write for five minutes about the prompt.  Then you go back to Lisa Jo's and post your link.  I can't wait to see what you write!

“Night never had the last word. 

The dawn is always invincible.”

-Hugh B. Brown-

The prompt this week is.....

Encouragement

Go

Dawn is ALWAYS invincible.  It will come.  Sometimes, when we think the night will never end, the sun just starts to peak over the horizon.  Dawn comes sometimes softly, sometimes slowly, sometimes in a flash of colorful light, but it does come. 
It can be so hard to be encouraged when life is handing you lemons.  It can be so hard to pick yourself up and brush yourself off and just keep going on.  But you don't get anywhere if you aren't moving.  My heart has known some hard times.  My eyes have seen things I would rather forget.  Life has not always been good to me, but I have found that when I focus on the positive, things change. 
I have discovered that the best way to help myself is to encourage someone else.  I have found my testimony in bearing the burdens of another.  I have seen God in the faces of those whose hearts are aching and in the writings of their hearts.  I have become who I am, not only by being given encouragement from those around me, but by giving it to others who need it most. 
Often, when I am trying to help someone else, I find the answers I have been seeking. 
Darkness fades into the dawn.  The light does come, often when we least expect it. 

STOP

Now it is your turn to join in for Five Minute Friday.  Don't forget to go over to Lisa Jo's and share your own experience.  I hope to see you there!

Sometimes they need you.

Don't Feel Bad

If People Remember You

Only When They Need You.

Feel Privileged

That You Are Like A Candle

That Comes To Their Mind

When There Is Darkness.

Being a Grandparent is the best.  I love that I have more patience and more ability to do fun things with them that I used to as a mother.  This sweet little one wore me out!  We went to visit my beautiful daughter and son along with their two children.  We decided to take the kids to the St. Louis City Museum, which is supposed to be amazing.  So, we did.  We took them straight into chaos.  I mean that literally.
The four older girls took off for the scariest things they could find to do.  They went exploring everywhere.  They found things they have never seen before.  They climbed in a wire enclosed cage up over five stories and took a slide down to the bottom.  They ran and played and explored and wore us all out.
My sweet Sadie wanted someone with her at all times.  She needed us to go down the slides first and wait to catch her at the bottom.  We spent six and a half hours crawling under floors, over ceilings, sliding down ten story slides and hiding in nearly everything.  This museum is an amazing place to be for kids of all ages.  Not so much for claustrophobic grammy's though. 
However, I bit my lip and we went everywhere.  Into the recesses of a whale, up spiral staircases, around waterfalls and through at least thirty different slides. 
Sadie usually doesn't need me.  She is happy to run with the older girls and leave the adults behind, but here, it took a few hours for her to warm up to doing things that were a little scary for her.  She needed me.  She needed a hand to hold and someone to watch her overcome her fears.  She wanted someone who would be patient and wait for when the time was right for her.  She wanted someone to climb through the bars and crawl way up in space and show her that scary things can still be fun. 
That day, I was her candle for a short while.  I was her anchor in trial.  And I have never been more privileged than for that one, single, short day of need. 

Failure by Default

I love this quote!!  There is just something wonderful about Harry Potter and his world.  He teaches us that there is really evil in the world, but also that people you think are bad, can change.  He teaches us that he world is not always what you see.  That there is so much hidden from muggle view. 

It is impossible to live without failing something, yet I face my life trying to never fail at anything.  Failure makes me feel like a "loser".  Failure is not something I want or desire.  Yet, it happens one time after another. 

No matter how hard I try, I fail at something each and every day.  Maybe that is why I love this quote so much.  It reminds me that no matter how good we are, we will all experience failure.  Failure is how we learn.  It is how we progress.  It is how we move on.

Take for example, one of my sons.  He was an amazing athlete.  He could play any sport.  His favorite was football and he played from the time that he was seven years old and could go into Pop Warner.  Not only did he play, but he learned to do it very well.  So well, that he was able to go to college with a scholarship.   Football was good to him.  But not good enough.  His dream was always to play for the NFL.  He never got to do that.  

Once, when he was very young, he played little league.  He quickly became good at that too.  He was the only one on his team that could hit a ball thrown 90 miles per hour.  In 8th grade, one of the coaches wanted him to go out for baseball.  He even said that they would teach him everything he needed to know.  He thought that my son had what it would take to become a great catcher.  But my son would not play.  He wasn't as good at that game.  He hadn't played all his life to do baseball.  His dream was football and he wanted to chase his dream.

He never tried baseball because he wouldn't have been the best at it.  

Sometimes we are all a little like my son.  We don't want to try new things.  We don't want to risk failing and looking bad to our peers or our friends.  We are taught that failure should not be an option.  

But I believe that failure is simply a way that we learn.  We keep trying until we get it right, or until we don't want to try anymore.  Everything in my life, I learned by failing.  When you skate, you fall, a lot.  When you drive, you speed or stop or can make the gears go in right and they grind.  When you learn to run, you come in last, you keep trying and increasing your speed and pushing your limits.  And you get better.  

So, live and fail and live some more.  This life is amazing.  There are places to go and things to see and wonderful experiences.  Don't be afraid of a little failure along with all the possibilities of success.  My greatest lessons in life have come when I have failed at something.  And perhaps that is what really living is all about. 
President Monson has told each of us that we are runners in the race of life.

“Comforting is the fact that there are many runners,” he said. “Reassuring is the knowledge that our Eternal Scorekeeper is understanding. Challenging is the truth that each must run. But you and I do not run alone. That vast audience of family, friends, and leaders will cheer our courage, will applaud our determination as we rise from our stumblings and pursue our goal. ... Let us shed any thought of failure. ... Let us seek; let us obtain the prize prepared for all, even exaltation in the celestial kingdom of God” (“Happiness—The Universal Quest,” Ensign, Oct. 1993).

The Answers, I never had them to begin with.

Faith is having peace,

Even when you do not have

The answers.

The past two years, I have been learning a lot about faith.  With all the prayers, with all the struggles, with all the asking, I still have not found many answers.  But, I do keep trying.  I keep saying to myself that the answers will come.  Sometimes we just have to act "as if" it will all be explained.  We have to act "as if" we already know. 
Take my daughter for example.  When we were visiting in St. Louis, we went to a place that has jumping and rolling and shooting games.  The kids had a blast and what they really wanted to do was to roll around in these large plastic balls.  My young daughter, just "knew" she wasn't going to fit because she is too fat.  She has lost a lot of weight this year and has really struggled with her self esteem.  She still sees herself as someone who weighs too much. 
Obviously, to me, she does not have a weight problem.  And in-spite of all her protestations to the contrary, she fit inside the ball just fine and rolled and crashed into everyone.  She laughed and had fun because she had the courage to try. 
I think, that faith can be about courage.  It is hard to believe sometimes.  It can be especially hard when those we love choose differently than we do.  Yet, what they choose should not affect our own beliefs.  It is almost as if everyone has to see things the same way or else nothing is true. 
Faith never has been about believing the same things as the "in group".  It is about standing for something.  It is about courage.  It is about walking forward in spite of your own doubts and fears. 
Faith is hard.  It was never meant to be easy.  It is about finding the peace within, even when the answers without, elude you.  It is knowing that someday, those answers will come.  It is knowing that someday, you will be in a place to recognize them.  It is about finding peace in spite of yourself.

“When you get to the end of all the light you know and it's time to step into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things shall happen: either you will be given something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly.”  Edward Teller

Five Minute Friday - Your Invisible Crown

Today, I am linking up for Five minute Friday over at Lisa Jo's.  I love the chance to just write for five minutes and see what happens.  It is such a joy to share these few moments.  

So, I hope you join me and write without edits and without constraint.  Just write, without worrying if it is right or not.  

Now, set your timer, clear your head, for five minutes of free writing without worrying about getting it right.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..
OK, are you ready? Please give us your best five minutes on:::

See…

- See more at: http://lisajobaker.com/#sthash.MwOA8ziK.dpuf

Now, set your timer, clear your head, for five minutes of free writing without worrying about getting it right.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..
OK, are you ready? Please give us your best five minutes on:::

See…

- See more at: http://lisajobaker.com/#sthash.MwOA8ziK.dpuf

Now, set your timer, clear your head, for five minutes of free writing without worrying about getting it right.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..
OK, are you ready? Please give us your best five minutes on:::

See…

- See more at: http://lisajobaker.com/#sthash.MwOA8ziK.dpuf

Now, set your timer, clear your head, for five minutes of free writing without worrying about getting it right.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..
OK, are you ready? Please give us your best five minutes on:::

See…

- See more at: http://lisajobaker.com/#sthash.MwOA8ziK.dpuf

Now, set your timer, clear your head, for five minutes of free writing without worrying about getting it right.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..
OK, are you ready? Please give us your best five minutes on:::

See…

- See more at: http://lisajobaker.com/#sthash.MwOA8ziK.dpuf

The prompt today is.....

Now, set your timer, clear your head, for five minutes of free writing without worrying about getting it right.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..
OK, are you ready? Please give us your best five minutes on:::

See…

- See more at: http://lisajobaker.com/#sthash.a9j29wKt.dpuf

SEE

START

Sometimes, I close my eyes tight and the dark surrounds me.  I feel it in my heart and in my soul.  If I relax my eyelids, a tiny bit of white light seeps through the edges.  I still can't see, but that is alright because I know the light is there.  I know that if I just open my eyes, the world will be reaching and grasping, pulling from my time and my attention.  I don't always want to see the world.  I don't always want to face the problems in the here and now.  Sometimes, I want to drift, in and out of a quiet, dark place. 
I give myself time to center and reach for His hands; time to recognize His touch; time to trust.  I haven't seen his eyes, but I am surrounded by His miracles.  When the world rushes into my sight and drives out the peace, I must be willing to close my outer eyes and see within.  I must center myself in faith and love.  I must Come Unto Him. 
It is said that without the darkness, we could not see the stars, and that is true.  It is one of the things I miss most about my home when I leave to visit others.  Up here, the stars shine like eyes in the sky.  They are bright, vibrant, and beautiful.  In the city, they are dim.  But I know they are still there waiting.  I just have to be in the right place to truly see them. 
God is like that for me.  Sometimes, the things that seem to matter most, right this moment, are the things that make Him invisible to my sight.  I can get carried away in too many good things.  And so I have to stop and focus and look again to truly see. 
My crown might be invisible, yet I remember that I am really the daughter of a Heavenly King. 

STOP

Now it is your turn.  What can you write in your own five minutes?  Don't forget to go back over to Lisa Jo's and link up with the rest of us to share your story. 

What God Knows

What God knows about me

Is more important

Than what others

 Think about me.  

It has been an interesting month. I went back in for surgery on both my arms. I just had to go to the hospital with "Santa". All the nurses and visitors just had to come and look.  Everything went well, all the metal is out of my one arm, and the tendon in my other was also repaired, so for the first time in a very long time, I am nearly pain free.  That is a good thing.  

Just before my surgery, someone drove into my Post Office, literally.  It made quite the mess and has taken a few weeks to clean up.  The week before, the pipes burst in the attic.  Two completely separate cleanups and four different crews of men. I never knew so many people in my small town could think so badly of me.  It has been hard.  I have been flipped off, sworn at, yelled at, complained about and pretty generally dished all around.  

It has been hurtful and disappointing to say the least.  

I have actually been surprised about how angry people can be over a situation that was not our fault in the first place.  Yet, we live in a society where inconvenience in a real anger issue.  I have really had to work on believing the best of myself and also of not getting angry back.  

It has been a loooooong three weeks.  

Finally, today, nearly all the work is done and the building can be opened again after hours so that people can get their mail all day long. 

I have had some experience thinking about the difference between what God thinks of me and what the town thinks of me.  My Heavenly Father knows exactly who I  am.  He knows my name, He knows my weaknesses, He knows my strengths.  He knows how I respond, who I am right now, and even who I want to be.  

Sometimes, I think the hardest thing to do is to accept who you are and where you are within yourself.  To recognize that you are not, and never have been, who others think you are.  That their opinions aren't what is important as you live your life.  The One whose opinion matters most of all, already accepts you and loves you for yourself.  He will mold you, lift you and magnify you if you will only hold your head up, your arms out, and walk with Him.  

He knows that which is most important of all.

He knows who I can become.    

Negativity, I am so, NOT, doing it!

It is easy to be negative.  It is easy to find everything wrong around it.  It is easy to focus on those things.  But then, I have discovered, that becomes you LIFE'S focus.  Everywhere you gaze becomes something that is wrong.  I am learning to find the blessings instead of the trials.  The trials are still there, but along with every one, comes a blessing that I didn't expect.  When I shift my focus to the blessings, I find even more surrounding me than I realized.  The good begins to outweigh the bad.  My attitude changes.  I start to realize that I have a really good life, instead of the not so good one that I imagined. 

We become what we focus on.  If we want to be happy, we need to shift our focus to the happy things.  We need to look for the blessings under the rock or the water or even the ground.  This year, the Young Women's theme is: Come Unto Christ.  I find myself realizing that the first way we start to come unto Him is to see the wonderful blessings that He has given us.  To experience the power of the atonement, we need to first admit that we have need of the atonement and then realize that it does, indeed, apply to all of us.  

None of us are without sin.  None of us can make it back to Heaven on our own.  Nothing we have ever done cannot be forgiven, even if it is hard, but first, we have to know that it is possible.

My own negativity is often because of my feelings about myself.  So on this journey this year, as I work on Coming unto Christ, I am also going to work on recognizing His Hands in every part of my life.  I am going to search for my blessings.  I want to become closer to him, and I believe that the more I seek to become like Him, the more my journey will lead me toward Him.  I will become who He needs me to be.

The scriptures tell us:

Moroni 10:32 "Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God.

 

It's In The Past, So Change!

Your past is just a story,
and once you realize this,
it has no power over you.

It has been an eventful year.  My Gosh!  It has been an eventful life!  The thing that I am learning is that we all have a past.  Some of it is good, some of it is bad, some of it is boring and some of it is an on the edge nail biter, but it is our own unique story.  It is not the parts that count, but the sum total of all.  It is the change that happens because bear our burdens, walk through our grief, comfort each other and learn to really love and care.  In essence, we live our stories. 
I have buried so much of my past.  There are many things that I don't remember and that I wish I did.  So much of my earlier years are sad.  I know that there were happy times, but the ones I remember are few and far between.  I went through part of my life where I just wanted to forget.  I wanted to move on.  I wanted the past to be forgotten.  Then I learned that I can't control the past.  I can't change the things that happened.  I can't go backward in time and "fix it".  But I can move forward, from this moment, and change the ending of my own story.  None of us have the power to change the past, or even to go back and relive it again.  None of us can fix decisions, or moments, or choices. 
What we can do is move forward from here and learn what needs to be learned.  Your past is your own story.  Give it twists and turns if you need to, but change whatever needs to be changed from right now.  The past only has the power over you that you give it. 
So, no matter if high school was the best of times, or the worst of times,
no matter if you were popular or a loner,
no matter if you were the bully or were bullied,
no matter if you were fat or thin,
no matter if you were mean or kind,
you can change who you become and become exactly who you want to be. 
Not a single one of us has the power to go back to the beginning and change our story,
But every one of us can start today and change who we become.  The past does not define me.  It never will. 
For me, that simple realization has made all the difference.