"In three words
I can sum up everything
I've learned about life:
it goes on".
Robert Frost
It certainly does! No matter what is happening in my life, it passes. Sickness, health, depression, anxiety, broken arms or even winter storms, they all move on to the next time, the next season, the next trial or even the next joy. No matter how difficult things seem today, they really will look different as time goes on.
I think that is why depression can be so hard for us to bear. We lose the focus of moving on and become entirely focused in the here and now. It feels as if there is no way to survive whatever our current problems are. Instead, we are in a seeming unending loop of anguish. We stay up and worry, we eat and worry, we sit down and worry. Worry becomes our constant companion. There is no break from the pain.
I am learning to live with depression. You would think, after so many years of suffering with it for most of my life, that I would know. Yet, I still go on and off medication. I still have days and weeks when I quit taking care of myself. I still feel hopeless sometimes. I still forget to depend on the timing of my Heavenly Father. I still lose hope.
Depression is a disease like many others, but because our society doesn't accept it, often those of us with it don't accept it either. We constantly struggle to feel "normal" again. Sometimes I forget that this is my own kind of "normal" and it is ok just as it is. We all have challenges, the goal is to bring light into our lives in spite of them.
So, whatever your trials may be, this too shall pass away, we are not alone, we can endure and we can make a difference. Remember, remember always that you are loved and needed, just the way you are.
Luke 12:6-7
Are not five sparrows sold for two farthings, and not one of them is forgotten before God?
But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows.
Oh boy. This post couldn't be more perfectly timed for me. I know everything you said. I'm there again. My stress level has been running on overdrive for months and it has caused my depression to kick up a notch as well. There are days I just wish I could be one of those people who doesn't understand what it's like, you know?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I'm up when I should be sleeping... And then I find this post. It felt like you were writing these words just for me. Thanks Patty.
Another sweet post from you on a subject I have struggled with also. I do know that I don't walk my path of struggles by myself. I have hope in the atonement of Jesus Christ. I do know that trials do come to an end; but another one usually follows. However, I do find joy in the moment and try to stay focused on and centered on the Savior.
ReplyDeleteThis post was a sweet one for me today.
Blessings!
Thank you for your comments LeAnn and Ginger, I needed those as much as I needed to write this post. I am learning that it is the hard times that teach me what I need to know.
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