"Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way
that leaves practically nothing unsaid."
~Walter Winchell~
I never thought that going to church would pose such a problem for me. It seems as if I am currently the person to gossip about. It has been a hard enough year without adding the difficulties that I am currently going through in church. I seem to have had the mistaken impression that church was a supposed to be sanctuary for my soul and my heart. That I could go there to be closer to my Heavenly Father. That I would have support, encouragement and love through my current trials and difficulties. That I would not be judged. But today, I am hurting. I am feeling betrayed and abandoned. The voices of "I'm not good enough" are screaming through my head and I really want to stay home and hide.
Don't get me wrong here. I am not going to do that. I will be sitting in the bench in the middle of the chapel come Sunday. I might not want to be there, but I go. I will listen, I will learn, and I won't let anyone else's actions determine when and how I worship.
But I will share with you, in this small corner of the world, how much it hurts to be the person who is talked about.
The Bible tells us: “The stroke of the whip maketh marks in the flesh: but the stroke of the tongue breaketh the bones.” Ecclesiasticus 28:17
It sounds to me as if some of the things we say can be destructive to others. That is a chilling thought. The voice that utters prayers, speaks softly in public, bears testimony, can also be the same voice that talks about our neighbors, bears false witness, embarrasses others, demeans, screams and even destroys. “Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing, My brethren these things ought not so to be.” James 3:10
I think our words, like our deeds, should also be filled with the virtues of faith, hope and charity. Our words should lift each other up, and not put each other down. Our words should provide comfort, love and sanctuary to those who would listen. May we each strive just a little harder to think before we speak and to be more Christlike in both Word and Deed.
It is one of my sources of happiness
never to desire a knowledge of other people's business.
~Dolley Madison~
I feel sad about this struggle. You should be able to go to church and feel safe and loved. I do hope that it will all be OK eventually. I have a daughter who has experienced similar things and it is very hard. I hate gossip; it can be so destructive. Remember always the Heavenly Father loves you and the Savior is there for you. Just hang in there and this too will pass. You will be in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteBlessings and hugs to you!
Oh man, I totally know what you are feeling. I constantly have to remind myself that the church is perfect but the people are not. I know I go for me, but sometimes it just hard when you seem to not measure up. The world can be so harsh. I'm thankful for my testimony and I love the gospel, but sometimes I know I have to push myself hard to be there when opposite forces are weighing hard on me to test my testimony. I know many people struggle with this ... but the key is to keep pressing on, remain strong to what you know is right even though it's hard. I'm sorry you are going through a difficult time.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. This is just sad sad sad and NOT what Christ, Church, or being a Christian is all about.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sad for you. I agree with what Julie said. Whoever these people in this "church" are, they are NOT godly. Shame on them. Maybe they ought to be reminded of Proverbs 6:16-19:
ReplyDeleteThere are six things the Lord hates,
seven that are detestable to him:
haughty eyes,
a lying tongue,
hands that shed innocent blood,
a heart that devises wicked schemes,
feet that are quick to rush into evil,
a false witness who pours out lies
and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.
Hmmm...
Thank you so much to all of you. It has been a hard time for me lately. I just have to keep thinking, "This too shall pass". I know that someday it will.
ReplyDeleteI understand. I ache and pray for family members who are judged, and misjudged. I pray for you as well. You ARE a wonderful person. Always remember that. I too went through an experience of great judgment. A life long friend misjudged and condemned me, and gossped to family and friends about me. I was wracked with pain. As I poured out my heart to the lord in prayer, He showed me the story of Job. I take comfort in Job's story, and in the words he was told when others gossiped fasely about him and abandoned him. In Job 16 Job speaks of how though his friends scorn him, he testifies that his witness is in heaven and his record is on high. And Job remained SO TRUE to the Lord, AND to his friends who abandoned him! "My face is foul with weeping, and on my eyelids is the shadow of death; Not for any injustice in mine hands: also my prayer is pure. O earth, cover not thou my blood, and let my cry have no place. Also now, behold, my witness is in heaven, and amy record is on high. My friends scorn me; but mine eye poureth out tears unto "God. O that one migth plead for a man with God, as a man pleadeth for his neighbour! When few years are come, then I shall go the way whence I shall not return." I decided that if God sent an angel to tell me these things, He desired for me to care ONLY about what HE thinks of me. And in His eyes, I am seen for who I really am. He knows and loves me, and that is all that matters. :) Heavenly Father loves you, Patty, and though some may judge and gossip about you, you have other friends silently pleading with the lord on your behalf...
ReplyDelete