Harmony

Sometimes, we think that happiness is something we buy, or something we receive.  It is the new house, or the new car, or the new toy.  We start to think that happiness is more about things than about the life we are living.  We forget that happiness is something we have to find from within.
Happiness is a state of mind and being.  It is not and never has been about things.  It is not even about people or those we love.  It is not about feeling lonely or lost or useless.  It is about changing the way we are thinking and the parts of life that we are looking at.
I tend to focus on too much negative in my life.  Believe me, if you look for it, you will find it everywhere!  We are surrounded by negative things.  There are always those who seem to have it better than we do.  There are always others to compare ourselves to.  There is always something we want and can't get.  There are always things going wrong and it can seem as if not enough is going right in our lives. 
I suffer from depression and anxiety.  Those are two diseases that make it so that I can't even begin to explain how many negatives I experience any given day.  I constantly focus on that negative and on my internal thoughts and feelings and feel a complete lack of happiness in my life.  There are moments, but it is not a constant state for me. 
I am trying to change myself to get better at find the harmony within.  The things I do and say are usually good.  But it is the thoughts that continually bring my focus to the problem places instead of the joy.  It is my thoughts that I need to change.
So, what am I doing?  I am trying to remind myself that a bad moment is simply a moment.  It is not my entire life.  I am trying to surround myself with reminders of joy.  Pictures of grandchildren, papers they have drawn for me, cards and notes and pictures of events. 
When the negative intrudes (as it will) I am trying to shift my focus to one of those joyful things.  I have thoughts and quotes on my bathroom mirror and around my house.  I am reading uplifting material.  I am starting to write again and draw and allow myself to post and do something that seems imperfect to me.  I am trying to focus on the good inside myself instead of the person that I think I SHOULD be.  I am letting go instead of holding on. 
Happiness is available to each one of us.  I am learning that it is more focused on the way I look outward and inward than it is a real state of being in Harmony with yourself.