I have felt this way so often in my life. Especially in the past several years. It seems as if I am tossed and turned by every wind that blows by. Often, I feel like I can't possibly survive or escape. I can't find my way out of the darkness that surrounds me. Sometimes, you just have to trust that somehow, it will all work out all right. You have to believe that Someone Else, has your best interests at heart. It can be nearly impossible for me to see and to be patient enough to wait; yet when I do, things change, and I am amazed at the outcome that I never imagined.
Often, those things don't turn out the way I wanted, but they end up being just what I needed. One of the hardest lessons that I ever had to learn is that God does not take away the free agency of another for me. He allows all of us to make our own mistakes. Even when those mistakes affect others in a negative way.
Eyes refuse to see, lips speak angry words, hearts get broken, and still He lets us make our own choices. I have learned that the choices of others can be devastating to me. But just because I hurt, doesn't mean that they don't have the right to choose. And so I wait, and watch and pray and hope. Sometimes I even get to see the change, sometimes I have to let it go, but no matter what happens, I get to choose too.
I choose the power that I give another person to change my life.
I choose what kind of person I will become because of it.
I choose to forgive.
I choose who I want to be.
I choose to follow HIM.