In a Dark Place

In A Dark Place

by Patricia A. Pitterle

Sometimes,

The road I walk

Seems dark and deep.

I find myself

Sinking into despair.

I am in an aching state,

I am in a lonely place.

My past catches me

Unaware

And all those things

That I thought taken care of

Come back for another round

Of pain.

It might not be so bad

If the past were 

Things that I had done

Myself,

But when it is full

Of evil done to me

There is no escape,

And when it intrudes 

Into the present

It is worse than

When it happened 

For the very the first time.

I am in a dark place,

A space where my heart

Falls into 

so many tiny pieces

And where, 

no matter how hard I try,

I cannot glue them 

together again.

I am in a space 

where it would be easy 

To wish myself no more

To walk away from pain

To put aside the sorrow

To be something 

I have never been,

Free.

And so,

I fall upon my knees

With tears upon my cheeks

And pray for relief 

From the darkness.

I pray for understanding

I pray for love

I pray for forgiveness 

And most of all

I pray for peace.  

I want to wish it all

So very far away.

I want to know 

That it will not 

Taint the very air I breath.

I want to be 

The person that 

I have always tried to be.

I want the darkness 

That seeks to destroy

Me from within

To go away,

To be destroyed,

To never return.

And so I fight

One breath,

One moment,

One fear, 

One hurt at a time.

I fight to believe 

In myself.

I fight to feel loved, 

And needed, 

And enough,

Just as I am .

I fight to remember 

Not only who I am, 

But whose I am,

And where 

I have always belonged;

With Him.