The Perfect Mother

There is no one perfect way

to be a good mother.

Each situation is unique.

Each mother has different challenges,

different skills and abilities,

and certainly, different children....

What matters most is that a mother

loves

her children

deeply.

Elder M. Russel Ballard

For a few days, I want to talk about real mothering.  Not the kind that you think you ought to do, but really, the kind that we all manage to do.  We live in a society that is filled with photoshopped perfection.  Things that seem real but aren't.  Songs that are sung over and over with bits taken here and there until we have what seems like a perfect whole.  

Being a mother is hard.  It is work.  It is joy.  It is rewarding.  It is still so very, very hard.  

There is the fussy times, the whining time, the tantrum times, the teenage times, the moody times, the joyous times, the laughter, the fun, the picnics, the hikes, the playing, the chores, the cleaning, the family.  

Being a perfect mother is a job that lives in our dreams.  We compare ourselves to this woman so much, that we start to believe more and more, how much we are lacking.  The perfect mother is in our heads, and we really need her to step out of there for awhile.  

I am not perfect.  I tried really hard for a long time and failed miserably, but the one area that I think I have succeeded in is that my children know they are loved.  Every single one of them.  They might not understand how much, or what I am willing to go through for them.  They might not know what I have given up and what I have gained because of them.  But every single one of the has no doubt that they have always been loved.  

I remember the moment when they were each put in my arms and I held them and looked into their sweet baby eyes and smelled their hair and counted their fingers and toes.  I remember how much that small little miracle meant to me.  They have grown since them and many have their own miracles.  I love how your heart just opens up to include them right inside.  I love how part of you is always, always with them, even if they don't know it.  

I love my children, in all the amazing, miraculous moments; through all the trials and heartache and the hurt and sad.  We walk together into the love; and that has always been enough for me.