The Desires of Our Hearts

All my life, I have wanted to be a good parent.  A better one than my parents were to me.  I wanted my children to always know that they were loved and wanted in my life.  I wanted them to have the chance to grow and make their own decisions.  I wanted them to be children.
Sometimes, I would get angry with them.  Sometimes I would forget that they were children, still learning, still growing, still becoming.  Nevertheless, I wanted to do all that I could to exemplify the Savior in my life and explain my testimony and my love.
I used to be a yeller.  My older children all grew up without me knowing that a quiet voice can accomplish so much more than a loud one.  I had to grow up too.  I had to learn that I did not have to parent the same way I was parented.  I had to learn to be more Christlike in my own life, before I could teach them those things in theirs.  I never wanted them to need to learn through my mistakes.
I have learned that I have taught them more than I ever realized.  They love, they trust, they care.  They have grown into amazing adults.  They are all I could wish them to be.  They have their own ideas, dreams and visions for the future, and that is alright.  I want them to find their own way in this world and to hopefully remember what they were taught when they were small.
Most of all, I want them to remember that I loved them first.  That I never forgot them, even if I wasn't perfect.  Especially because I wasn't perfect. I want them to remember the good that I had to teach them.  I want them to remember the Savior in my actions.  I want them to be just a little better than I have been.
With true desire, I so often have pled:

More holiness give me, …
More patience in suff’ring,
More faith in my Savior, …
More tears for his sorrows,
More pain at his grief,
More meekness in trial,

More praise for relief.

More sorrow for sin,

I am still working on all of it.  But I am learning and loving and needing and so very blessed.  

Sabbath Day Scribblings - Faith in Every Footstep

We pray with trust for strength and guidance—just as our forebears did. That's what it means to walk with faith in every footstep. It was so for our pioneer ancestors, and it must be so for us today. We must instill in our children and grandchildren the same spirit that drove the footsteps of the pioneers."

—M. Russell Ballard, "Pioneer Faith and Fortitude—Then and Now"

Five Minute Friday - She

On Fridays a bunch of us gather together over at Lisa Jo's place to write about a single prompt.  We spend five delicious minutes just writing.  Won't you come over and join us?  

1. Write for 5 minutes flat for pure unedited love of the written word. (On your blog or in the comments).
2. Link back over at Lisa Jo's and invite others to join in.
3. Go leave some comment props for the five minute artist who linked up before you.

It’s a great way to catch your breath at the end of a long week.

SHE

START

She is small, dark hair covering her head.  She is wiggly with blond curls.  She is tanned with brown flyaway hair.  She is mighty with strength in voice and in adversity. She is tall in stature and beauty.  She is everything I have ever dreamed to be.  She is the forgiveness of my mistakes, a combination of my strengths.  She is the person that I love, more that life itself.  
In my life, I have many She's.  I have 7 wonderful girls and 7 wonderful grand-daughters.  So much love spread into so many people.  So much of what I believe in and admire.  So much of what I always wanted to be.  Yet, every single one, different in her own way.  Strong and sure and mighty and brave.  So different from their mother and grand-mother.  
These beautiful girls keep me strong and focused.  They remind me of those things that are most important in my life.  They are my past, my present and my future all in different bundles.  I remember each as a little child.  And I have watched so many growing and learning and loving.  
Their personalities are different, but they love much the same;  unconditionally and without guile. They are amazing.  They are my greatest joys.  They are my loves and my life.  
They are all my example of SHE.  

STOP

Now it is your turn.  What can you write in just five minutes? Don't forget to join us over at Lisa Jo's and share your own story!

Five Minute Friday - Mercy

Today is a great day to be a Friday!  It also happens to be one of my favorite days of the week.  This is the day when we join up with Lisa Jo over at at Her Place. 

We gather together to spend 5 collective minutes writing on a single prompt. 

                                                         The rules are easy:

1. Write for 5 minutes flat for pure unedited love of the written word.
2. Link back over at Lisa Jo's and invite others to join in.
3. Go leave some comment props for the five minute artist who linked up before you.

It’s a great way to catch your breath at the end of a long week.

START

His Mercy

by Patricia A. Pitterle

I struggle in this life I live, 

Day by day, and up and down,

My heart hurts when life is hard 

With sorrows all around

Sometimes I move forward 

Or take a few steps back

But each trial teaches me 

The lessons that I lack.

I fall upon my knees each night 

Before I go to bed,

And plead with Him that He might know 

I'm willing to be lead.

I need to feel His comfort  

I need to know His love.

To know He will just direct my path

From His Home above.

My life is full of mercy

Even when my heart feels grief,

He comforts with His spirit

And brings my soul relief.

He walks with me and holds me tight

And I am sheltered in His arms

His Mercy saves me from my sins

and protects me from lasting harm.

His tender mercies touch my heart 

And whisper to my soul

All is well, all is right, 

I know I am not alone.

Even when I do not understand 

Why life hurts me so,

His promise is that I am loved 

More than I could ever know.

STOP

Now it is your turn.  What can you write in just five minutes?

We need Pioneers Today

Can we somehow muster the courage and steadfastness of purpose that characterized the pioneers of a former generation?

Can you and I, in actual fact, be pioneers? I know we can be.

Oh, how the world needs pioneers today!"
—Thomas S. Monson, "The World Needs Pioneers Today"

Oh how I love these modern day pioneers!   We live in times of change.  Times of difficulty, times of great sorrow and great joy.  There is such a need for those who are willing to help us to walk the way that we need to go.  There is a need for those willing to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things and in all places.  There is need for those who are willing to be more than just common.  Those who are willing to be extraordinary.  The world is changing and we cannot draw away from those things that are eternal truths.  It is so easy to be persuaded toward the ordinary ways.  It is so desirable to walk the easy path.  The path of least resistance.  But we must hold to the Iron Rod in our own lives.  We must be willing to be pioneers in these treacherous times.  We must be of one heart and one purpose.  We must be willing to make a difference in our own lives as well as the lives of others.  We must indeed become pioneers. 

Hope in the Savior of our World The crops will grow and we will harvest.

Real hope is much more than wishful musing. 

It stiffens, not slackens, the spiritual spine.

The truly hopeful, for instance, work amid surrounding decay at having strong and happy families. Their response is the steady, Joshua like response:

“As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Josh. 24:15).

We cannot fix everything.  We cannot fix many things.  We may not be able to fix the whole world, but we can strive to fix what may be amiss in our own families. J.R. Tolkien reminds us: “It is not our part to master all the tides of the world, but to do what is in us for the succour of those years wherein we are set, uprooting the evil in the fields that we know, so that those who live after may have clean earth to till. What weather they shall have is not ours to rule” (The Return of the King).

I love that short thought.  The idea of leaving for others "clean earth to till".  In other words, we fix whatever we are able and allow the rest to take care of itself.  Hope is to believe that somehow, in a way we might not understand, those things that are out of our control will still work out.
We continue on in our journey.  We plow in hope, not looking back.  We refuse to let yesterday, no matter what it was like, to hold our tomorrows hostage.
We allow our today and our hope in the Savior to give us our strength.  He will help us through in spite of ourselves.  He leads the way.  We have only to follow.    

Find Joy in the Journey

"Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey and share our love with friends and family. One day, each of us will run out of tomorrows. Let us not put off what is most important."—Thomas S. Monson, "Love at Home--Counsel from Our Prophet"

I sometimes get so caught up in the necessities of living, that I forget to take time to look for the joy.  It is the simple things that really do mean the most.  The kindness of a stranger, the time spent with a friend, the laughter of children, the comfort of family.  We have so many blessing in our lives.  It is just a matter of stopping for a moment and recognizing those things that surround us.  Joy is everywhere.  I found these two flowers in my own backyard.  They were just waiting for me to smile.  I found a little joy just by taking a moment to notice.
Heavenly Father created this amazing world that we live in.  Yes, we have trials and heartaches and difficulties.  Life can be so hard at times and it is easy to lose our way, so He also gave us moments of joy that remind us He is near.  Those small things that remind us to take a moment and just breathe.  Just take it in.  Just let it go.  Small islands of joy to remind us that the journey is worth it.  He loves us and we are His.

Surrounded by Voices

"Our children today are growing up surrounded by voices urging them to abandon that which is right and to pursue, instead, the pleasures of the world. Unless they have a firm foundation in the gospel of Jesus Christ, a testimony of the truth, and a determination to live righteously, they are susceptible to these influences. It is our responsibility to fortify and protect them."—Thomas S. Monson, "Three Goals to Guide You"

 There are so many voices in the world around us.  I was just talking to my younger daughters about the days when "everyone" did not have television in their homes.  When there was no cable TV.  Only the channels that you could get on one single turn around dial.  We talked about when TV would turn off at midnight and the station would play the National Anthem and show the flag.  It would not come back on until 6:00AM.  If you turned it on, we only saw the grey screen of death.  
We played outside and did not watch TV after school.  We spent time with our families.  Divorce was uncommon even though it did happen now and then.  Girls did not play sports with Boys.  We had to compete separately.  
I am not saying that everything was better.  I know that I really wanted to do some of the things that the boys got to do.  But I also know that we were no surrounded by so many voices urging us in the wrong directions.  It scares me to know what my children face today.  It scares me to see the things that surround them.  I am older.  My testimony is stronger.  Yet there are things out there that I know would weaken me if I let them.  I know to stay away.  The youth of today still have to learn to be more like Joseph in the Old Testament.  When Potipher's Wife tried to tempt him, he left his coat and ran away.  
There are things in this world today that we need to not investigate.  That the best thing for us to do is to run away.  We must teach our children to make choices that put them on firm ground and not shakily in the air.  
There is a reason that the great and spacious building that Nephi speaks about was up in the air.  It did not have a foundation on the ground.  It's foundation was not real.  
Today, there are so many things that sound good, but they aren't.  They sound right, but they aren't.  They demand our attention to be away from those things which matter most.  There is so much noise in the would we live in that it makes it so much harder to hear the still small voice that is ever willing to help us through.  We have to listen harder.  We have to pay more attention.  We have to be willing to put the world away.  We have to be standing on firm ground.   
 

Selfishness Suffocates the Spiritual

"Selfishness suffocates spiritual senses. Communicating with the Lord in prayer, [couples] grow together and not apart. . . . They express their love for each other and become closer. They lift and strengthen one another."—Robert D. Hales, "Blessings of the Temple"

I have often thought that one of the hardest things about marriage is selfishness.  Especially when you are a working mom.  You work all day, and you come home to yet more work.  You don't get enough time to really be selfish, yet somehow, we find ways.  It is easy to want what we want.  It is easy to feel like we deserve things we don't have.  It is easy to take the selfish road.  It is easy to be right or at least, feel right.  It is easy to get frustrates, angry, moody and just plain disagreeable.
Selfishness is the easy road.  The higher road consists of putting others needs before our own.  My husband is so much better at that than I am.  I have suffered quite a bit the past couple of years with depression.  It has taken everything out of me.  I go to work, I function, but there have been times when that is the most that I can do.  So, my husband has really helped out.  He doesn't grip about it, or even get upset with me.  He has given me the time and space that I need to heal.
How amazing it is to be a partner with someone who knows I can't be everything that I would like to be.  Someone who teaches me the meaning of "for better or worse".  Someone who loves me in spite of my
illness and in spite of my weakness.  Someone who truly strengthens me, emotionally, physically and spiritually.  
As the years pass, my love grows stronger.  My testimony grows stronger too.  I am closer to my husband, and my Heavenly Father.  Unconditional love really is, well, unconditional.  It is there through thick and thin through good times and bad, through depression and salvation.  And I am loved, I am content, I am enough.

We Belong to Eternity

“Whereas the bird is at home in the air, we are clearly not at home in time – because we belong to eternity.” 

(Neal A. Maxwell)

What a beautiful thought for me today.  It reminds me that I need to take steps to help me on my journey home.  He reminds me that it is OK to feel as if I don't belong.  It is OK to want to do better and go farther. He reminds me that my time here is not the only time I have.  I don't belong here.  I am not comfortable here. I belong to my Heavenly Father.  I belong in eternity.  He has made me His and that is amazing.  So, when trials find you in your journey, remember that you were not made to fail.  You are made to soar, far into the eternities of time.  You are made to endure, to carry on, and to become.  You are made to be His.  And that makes the entire journey worth the fight, worth the struggle, and worth the journey.    

If it is Buried, Let It Lie.

"If something is buried in the past, leave it buried. . . . Such dwelling on past lives, including past mistakes, is just not right! It is not the gospel of Jesus Christ. . . . In cases of marriage and family, . . . we can end up destroying so many others."
—Jeffrey R. Holland, "The Best Is Yet to Be"

Too many times, I want to dig up the graves of my mistakes.  I want to sift through the dirt and relive the moments of anger, shame, ridicule and grief.  In short, too many times, I make my own self miserable with my dwelling on my own past mistakes.  Forgiveness for others has always come easily for me, but forgiveness for myself?  Not so much.  I see with the gift of hindsight and think of all the ways that I should have changed that.   I wish with my entire heart that the mistakes would not have happened.  I am very hard on myself.  Reading this article, reminded me that I shouldn't be.  That Christ knew I would make mistakes and that He atoned for my sins.  I honor Him when I learn to forgive myself as well as those I love.  I revere Him when I love all those that He loves.  And so, today, my struggle is to let go.  I will believe the best is yet to be.  I will vow to live life anew.  Today, I will believe that it is well with my soul.