Writers Workshop - Hurt Feelings

Joining up with Mama Kat's today for her weekly writer's workshop. Hope to see you there! Feel free to join us for another fun filled week of inspiration!! Pick your poison...

This Week's Prompts

1.) Locked out. 

2.) Write about a time you wanted to disappear.

3.) An inappropriate time to laugh. 

4.) A time you hurt a friends feelings. 

5.) Advice to new mothers.

I chose number 4, to write about a time I hurt someone's feelings.

It was a couple of years ago and I was talking to some friends about a book that I had been reading. The book talked about things that we can do to get closer to our Heavenly Father. It talked about changing things in our lives in order to be His people. One of the things it talked a lot about was things we can do to show respect and reverence. The book also mentioned what was appropriate to wear to church, and what was not. It talked about choosing not to wear "beach attire" to worship the Lord in, and how our dress should always reflect our love and veneration for our Heavenly Father and His Son.
I was talking to a couple of the people at my work, because they were in positions to understand the author and to tell me what they honestly thought. I wasn't sure what I thought of it, and I thought some of it might be just a little harsh, but I could see the point in dressing up for Sunday. Sometimes, I can be one of those people that don't like being told what to do. I don't like having to admit that I might be wrong. And I must admit that I was guilty of wearing the so called "beach attire" myself from time to time. Especially the jean skirts and flip flops. I have always been one to be comfortable whenever possible.
However, one of the women that I work with was going to a funeral that day.at my church. Unbeknownst to me, in her truck she had a jean skirt and flip flops to wear to the service. Although I was not talking to her, or about her, she heard our conversation and took it as being judgmental and as belittling how she dressed.
She was devastated, upset, and hurt that what she had wasn't good enough to go to the funeral of a friend in our church. She was upset because she felt as if we were not only judging her, but condemning her because her beliefs were different than ours. Let's just say it was not a good day. For any of us. I apologized, but the damage was done. It was many weeks before she forgave me for my insensitive remarks. I felt terrible. Although I truly did not mean to hurt her and was not talking about her or to her, nevertheless, my remarks caused her pain and drove a wedge between us.  

I would never have knowingly or willingly hurt her. I have learned from this experience. I am much more careful what remarks I make and who might overhear when I am making any remarks at all. I am not perfect, but I am trying and learning and working on it.
I do think it is important not to hurt the feelings of others. We can't always prevent it, but if we are a little more conscious of what we are saying and who is overhearing, I think we can better avoid offending others.
I have been hurt enough in my life with the words and deeds of others. I don't like to, or want to, be the person giving the hurt, unintentional or otherwise. I do not expect others to be like me. I don't mind or notice what other's wear to church. I think you make the decision to do what is best for you and your family.
I have changed the way I dress, not because of a book, but because I want to show my Heavenly Father that He is always worth the extra effort it takes for me to dress up my physical body as well as my spiritual one. I have learned that I don't have to talk about my decision. It is not necessary to ask anyone else what I should or shouldn't do. It is not and never will be my place to judge anyone else (thank goodness!).
I have learned that one of the most Christlike things we can do for others is simply to love them and accept them, no matter how they are different from us. We teach by example much better than we will ever teach by words and mistakes. So, when I think something is right, I will simply model that behavior and let others pick up on it as they choose. That is the best way that I know of to teach. It is the way the Savior taught, after all. If we all worked on sharing a little more of His love, and a little less of our own judgement, the world would be a better place.

Mother Theresa once said, "If you judge them, you have no time to love them."